I hope ya flip some guy the bird He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve In front of the Beatles' tour bus A Bookmobile and a Mack truck Hauling hazardous biological waste The light turns red you have no brakes And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape So you can see the look on your face
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
I hope your Pinto begins to spin Takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize Winner And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner Perhaps even the British Royal Family And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy And we can't forget the newlyweds And those Jerry's Kids are as good as dead
I hope this helps to emphasize I hope this helps to clarify I hope you die
I hope your cellmate thinks he's God But C.N.N. refer to him as "Bowling Ball Bag Bob" Serving time again for abuse of a corpse Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse While he masturbates to photos of livestock He does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian Rock Eats feces and quotes from "Deliverance" And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson And forces you to play a game called "Balls On Chin" And whatever happens next is all a blur But you remember "fist" can be a verb And when you finally regain consciousness You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress And the prison guard looks the other way ‘Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day
I hope this helps to emphasize I hope this helps to clarify I hope you die
"A" is for "Apple" "B" is for "Balloons" "C" is for "Crayons" "D" is for "Drum"
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher Genius with a penis the few the proud the me I liked me so much I had to buy the company Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope
Conclusions you drew proportions you blew Lost son of Iggy? False Bigger nose than Ziggy? True Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!" I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so can it Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope The inevitable return of the Great White Dope One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope The inevitable return of the Great White Dope One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope The inevitable return of the Great White Dope One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
Great White Dope Great White Dope Great White Dope Great White Dope
Hello Frank, Hello mother dear Hi, ..., what are you doin' I am trying to think of words that rhyme with vagina Oh, lima? Like lima beans How about that, that teenage witch, Sabrina No, that's a made up-word, Jim What if you change the word vagina to something else Like boxer, pussy or cunt. No, Jim........
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me Lefty? Yeah but that was alright She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies? Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee You know what I really want in a girl? Me
I need to find a new vagina Any kind of new vagina It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina Calvin Klein, kind of. North Carolina
Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese Preferably for me fat-free American singles only I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee You know what I really want in a girl? Me
I need to find a new vagina Any kind of new vagina It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo. Yeah, Notorious B.I.G. Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'. Yeah, Tupac Shakur. Nah bitch, I'm talkin' ‘bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit. What? Falco?
Rock me Amadeus Rock me Amadeus Rock me Amadeus Rock me Amadeus
Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze "Golden Girls" got me "Sweatin' To The Oldies" Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas Wrote to Mayor McCheese "Send a Shamrock Shake please!" Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eighth graders Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later Reruns of Rerun so "What's Happening?" Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives So I like to dance naked in front of my pets But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S. Playin' spin the bottle with my mom I watch "Cops" with no pants on
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five" Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill Not going nowhere slim chance we will Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it Relax don't do it when you wanna cum Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Nowhere to go I can't wake up late Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate Stalemate jailbait in "My So-Called Life" imprisonment Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it? I like to pretend I'm speed reading Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day And I recycle I sniff my own farts I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five" Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill Not going nowhere slim chance we will Less hip than Bo Jackson, bored like wood Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it Relax don't do it when you wanna cum Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums When you wanna cum I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums When you wanna cum I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums When you wanna cum I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums When you wanna cum
Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is motherfuckers? Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man. Hey Pac-Man, what's up? Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase? No Pac-Man drugs are bad! Nope can't help you man. Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five" Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill Not going nowhere slim chance we will Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it Relax don't do it when you wanna cum Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Ouch it won’t reach my mouth If I could do it myself I’d probably never leave the house But I can’t so here’s where you come in Giving it "Diff’rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond Hummin’ hmm hmm good like Campbell’s And you’ll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi They call him Ralph Mouth ‘cause he’s down on Potsie Rocky chasing the chicken Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin’ Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission You go down for the count I countdown ignition Blast off you’re a rocket scientist A genius what I mean is you suck at this So escargot ‘cause my snail needs Frenchin’ You must be five stars cause my staff’s at full attention
Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Dinner for one I know you got your reservations Starvation like a Third World Nation So do it for the children and I’ll make a donation My fly’s in your eyes let me rise to the occasion In my Underoos I tend to be brief So when you’re sinking your teeth deep into my beef You can fondle but it’s kind of like McDonald’s realize it’s Just a Happy Meal so you can’t Super Size it Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss ‘Til it’s Chubby like Checker c’mon baby do the twist It’s all in the wrist like table tennis So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix
Yummy down on this down on this down on this (x4)
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it (x4)
If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot
Yummy down on this Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken. And feel free to wiggledunk those purple bulldog cheeks.
