| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 3:05 | 
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Do you still go to raves? Do you think that Christ saves? Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze? Do you contemplate what a grape nut is? Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz? Are you hooked on a feeling are you hooked on gin-n-tonics? Are you hooked on fistin are you hooked on phonics? Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex? Did you like the movie Malcolm X? Or do you own a record by Stryper? Do you have a Mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers? Were you born and raised in New Jersey? Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi? Are you deaf? Well if you are you can't hear me But what's the use of living if your ear's be? Broken even if I spoke clearly You're still not able to hear me Cause life is a game that no one wins But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin' So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit No take that towel and hang yourself with it Life's short and hard like a body-building elf So save the planet and kill yourself If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about Lift your head up and blow your brains out Lift your head up high and blow your brains out Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M A S H? Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache? When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask? Ain't no Halloween party why's she wearin' that mask? Does she got more Chins than the Chinese phone book? Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook? Does she stick to linoleum when she squats? Does she look pregnant although she's not? Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops? Or at a Star Trek convention or on top? Of your |
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| 2. |
| 4:58 |
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I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil I get under your skin and I sebaceously form I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh Then I'll borg di borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine I'm like Schneider one day at a time I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind To my wall like Daniel-son does I'm waxing on I'm waxing off I'm waxing just because I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me And I got more balls than the daily lottery Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy And I don't give a damn if you don't like me Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me Second is different from the first I'm Jimmy Pop I am Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn And I got a different angle like a parallelogram And you'll be all ears like a field of corn I'll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I'll get in your face But then I'll brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste Cause I'm letting off stea |
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| 3. |
| 4:52 |
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The roof the roof the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high So I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho cause she all fly But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried' Yea I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie I'm the root of all that's evil yea but you can call me cookie The roof the roof the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven This honkey's gone to heaven But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist And Webster yea Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the anti-Christ The roof the roof the roof is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn Everybody here we go Ohh Ohh C'mon party people Ohh Ohh Throw your hands in the air Ohh Ohh C'mon party people Ohh Ohh Wave 'em like you don't care Ohh Ohh C'mon party people Ohh Ohh Everbody say ho Ohh Ohh C'mon party people Ohh Ohh Everybody here we go |
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| 4. |
| 3:49 |
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If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too Wanna see how many push-ups I can do? I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry Scoring with a super model would be easy Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with 'super dumb' Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly And I don't shave my heiny Don't shave my heiny See I'm not queer I'm too ugly |
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| 5. |
| 3:22 |
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Are those num-chucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Let me take you back to the day that I met my China girl When I landed a 'Pam' like on the San Fran Real World I was sweating like a vegetable inside of a wok I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna Bangkok Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice Should I talk about Mothra MASH or shrimp-fried rice? I was sharp as a Chinese star but it's a line I threw Just thirty seconds over Tokyo and this Johnny would Woo I took a shot like Jeanette Lee put on my moves like Bruce Lee I told he every Soon Yi needs a little Woody She said for all the tea in China my vagina's not free But my love will linger longer than the Ming Dynasty I said I needed her to do and her to do my laundry I knew she needed a way to stay legally within the country She was made in Taiwan I said I'm O.K. with that Just promise me you'll never try to eat my cat Chinky chinky bang bang I love you Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too In Japan the hand is used as a knife In Japan a man's wife's hand job than can cost him his life But now this Captain Kirk has his own Sulu I'll shampoo her Foo Man Chu with Lo Hung Wang Goo Cause I ride my slant-eyed slope like a brand new Kawasaki Oh me chinky she's so kinky got me hot like Nagasaki Burnin' up like Napalm burstin' like an A-bomb I think I got that jungle fever but I caught it in 'Nam She's like an oriental rug cause I lay her where I please Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get down on her knees I'm a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese First I'll have the poo-poo platter than some tuna sushi She'll be screa |
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| 6. |
| 2:36 |
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This beat is my recital
I think it's very vital To rock a rhyme That's right on time It's tricky tricky yo here we go It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky I met this little girlie her hair was kind of curly Went to her house to bust her out I had to leave real early These girls are really sleazy all they just say is please me To rock a rhyme that's right on time I said it's not that easy It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme They really hawk but we just walk because we have no time And in the city it's a pity 'cause we just can't hide Tinted windows don't mean nothin' they know who's inside It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky Huh When I wake up people take up mostly all of my time I'm not singin' phone keep ringin' so I make up a rhyme I'm not braggin' people naggin' 'cause they think I'm a star Always tearin' what I'm wearin' I think they're goin' too far A girl name Tara follows Jared every gig we play Evil dissed her then dismissed her and now she's jockin' Spanky I ain't lyin' girls be cryin' 'cause I'm on T.V. They even bother my poor father 'cause he's down with me It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky It's tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that's right on time It's tricky tricky tricky tricky We are not dumb we don't use drugs but you assume on your own They offer coke and lots of dope but we just leave it alone It's like that y'all y'all 'cause we don't quit You keep on rock shot 'cause this is it |
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| 7. |
| 4:06 |
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Bloodhounds shall cruise rendevous Break curfew new trip ensues You never know Bloodhounds just go Pack backpack up for down the road No change of clothes but change for tolls pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee Sugar Daddy Rand McNally A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak The phantom black stacked Pontiac Hot rod dual quads and in the back Is the beat keeper big ass speaker Jumbo woofer rattle tweeter Dial is turned and there it's stayin' The next day where Stern is playin' You got your Jesus on the dashboard but the devil's under my hood You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none Get up you're asleep at the wheel I-95 eight lanes wide Midnight drive take a ride Alongside east coast tide Getting high so am I Bloodshot red eyes from the fumes I consume engine zoom then engine boom Then engine glow erupt and blow And overflow like volcano So far to go can't turn back though Cheap tobacco cup of black Joe Fuelin' my body jumpstartin' my soul Set my mind on cruise control You got your Jesus on the dashboard but the devil's under my hood You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none Get up you're asleep at the wheel 24-7 Truck Stop Plaza Turn off headlights turn on hazards 3 A.M. is when I gazed Eyes glazed I'm dazed and then I fade To black now were back 'On The Road' like Kerouac Down the turnpike high rate of speed Up all night like Gilbert Gottfried You got your Jesus on the dashboard but the devil's under my hood You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none Get up you're asleep at the wheel |
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| 8. |
| 3:15 |
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Why is everybody always pickin' on me? The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin' I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin' But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983 But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby Why's everybody always pickin' on me? Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans And my mirror never lies but it always verifies I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink -acapo |
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| 9. |
| 7:02 |
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I just got your message baby So sad to see you fade away What in the world is this feeling To catch a breath and leave me reeling It'll get you in the end, its god's revenge Oh I know I should come clean But I prefer to deceive Everyday I walk alone And pray that god won't see me I know its wrong, I know its wrong Tell me why is it I'm digging your scene I know I'll die baby They put you in a home to fill in But I wouldn't call that living I'm like a boy among man I'd like a permanent friend I'd like to think that I was just myself again Why is it I'm digging your scene I know I'll die baby I just got your message baby So sad to see you fade away I'm like a boy among men I'd like a permanent friend I'd like to think that I was just myself again Why is it I'm digging your scene I know I'll die baby Oh come home baby come on angel |
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| 10. |
| 4:06 |
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Yo Bloodhound Gang and Rob Van Winkle together on this track Stop as we drop this bomb Blow up this place like another Vietnam Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome Back up son give me room give me room To set it off like this don't give it up I'm all up in you till you just can't get enough Real hard to the bone you want more I sneak up on you like a sniper at your back door Phat flavor for your brain you know the time So check the wrath it's for real I'm gonna get mine Roll up on you like Eastwood Blowing up fifteens as I'm riding through your neighborhood I spreads butter like Parkay Real smooth with flow and even when I parlay Do what you feel and check the skill I'm in your grill peep this I got the raw deal I'm in your Jeep Grand Cherokee or Land Cruiser When you're rolling through the hood you want to use a Track like this all up in your eardrum So check the E.Q. and let them speakers hum And gets crazy like Prozac Hype enough to start a party and ill as a heart attack Round one round two knockout Straight to your head my round never lights out Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a Jimmy Jimmy y'all Jimmy damn Jimmy yea Gimme the mic Rob so I can take it away Got more lines than the welfare office Are you upset you'll never get to be as clever as this? Spreadin' quicker than your mom have a feel but don't cop it Yea I stole your beat but that's cause you dropped it Crude as oil unrefined but slick I'm gonna get you from behind like a gay convict Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch You're Spiro Agnew and I'm the Dick you answer to You're sweating like a watermelon at a Baptist bar-b-cue Sneaking up like celery yeah I'm stalking I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin' Nose to ground so this Bloodhound will sniff and follow it I hope you choke on your pride when I make you swallow it Screaming like a Mimi when you see me coming near you Like a Kenny Loggins' record no one's ever gonna to hear you Like a game of hide and seek it's all over if I see ya Cause your yellower than tinkle and you'll be running like diarrhea Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a |
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| 11. |
| 4:21 |
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Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand That a-hole bands have a-hole fans Bloodhound's the name and the Gang's to blame Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same So fame ain't gonna live forever Never worrying about dying cause it can't be any better But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst And if the worst is yet to happen I hope it happens to you first So hello Joe what do you know? Heard ya just got back from a Bloodhound show Did you do the Batussi or did you do the Hustle? Did you do the Flamin' Waffle or the Super Bowl Shuffle? No matter what you did you're gonna be amused If you were not entertained you did not drink enough booze If ya get your eyes a'fuzzin' then we'll get your ears a'buzzin' Cause we play around the world you play around with your cousin Bloodhound boys Bloodhound girls Bloodhound noise Bloodhound world Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone Don't matter what town what state what show Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow We rock Philadelphia Baltimore Las Vegas Indianapolis Louisville Atlanta New Orleans and Minneapolis Houston Tucson Phoenix Buffalo Tulsa Mobile Albuquerque Wichita and Orlando Portland Salt Lake City Memphis Washington D.C. Charlotte Oklahoma City Little Rock and Milwuakee Cleveland Tampa Norfolk Dallas Raleigh Hartford Cincinatti Boston Nashville Kansas City Chattanooga and Miami Honolulu Richmond Austin Pittsburgh San Antonio Baton Rouge and Anchorage and Birmingham and Toledo Denver Detroit Dayton Spokane Fresno And Jacksonville Colombus Springfield New York Sacramento Los Angeles St. Paul St. Louis San Francisco Madison Knoxville Seattle San Jose and San Diego Jackson Omaha Des Moines Boise Providence Chicago But no where in New Jersey that's the only place we won't go Bloodhound boys Bloodhound girls Bloodhound noise Bloodhound world Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone Don't matter what town what state what show Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow |
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| 12. |
| 0:52 |
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Spoken:
Bloodhound Gang's record' called "One Fierce Beer Coaster," and on the front of the record, there's a picture of a beer coaster. So the record looks like a beer coaster. That's some funny fuckin' shit, motherfucker. That shit's wack. That shit's funny. That shit's funny and wack. Oh, my God! Whoo, whoo, whoo-hoo! |
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