Now here's a little story To tell it is a must About an unsung hero That moves away your dust
Some people make a fortune Others earn a mint My old man don't earn much In fact he's flippin' skint
Oh, my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper nana In his great big hobnail boots He's got such a job to pull them up That he calls 'em daisy roots
Some folks give tips at Christmas And some of them forget So when he picks their bins up He spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty And to the council wrote Next time my old man went 'round there He punched him up the throat
Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
Lonnie: I say, I say, Les. Les: Yes? Lonnie: I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin Les: Well how do you do know he's a police dog? Lonnie: He had a policeman with him
Though my old man's a dustman He's got an 'eart of gold He got married recently Though he's eighty-six years old
We said "'Ere, hang on, Dad, You're getting past your prime" He said "Well, when you get to my age It helps to pass the time."
Oi! My old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
Lonnie: I say, I say, I say! Les: Huh? Lonnie: My dustbin's full of lilies. Les: Well throw 'em away then! Lonnie: I can't: Lily's wearing them.
Now one day whilst in a hurry He missed a lady's bin He hadn't gone but a few yards When she chased after him
"What game do you think you're playing?" She cried right from the 'eart "You've missed me, am I too late?" "No, jump up on the cart!"
Oi! My old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
Lonnie: I say, I say, I say! Les: Not you again! Lonnie: My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools. Les: How do you know it's full? Lonnie: 'Cause there's not mushroom inside.
He found a tiger's head one day Nailed to a piece of wood The tiger looked like miserable But I suppose he should
Just then from out a window A voice began to wail It said "Oi! Where's me tiger's head?" "Four foot from his tail."
Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman Looking all pale and sad Don't kick him in the dustbin It might be my old dad
If you wanna get in trouble let me tell you how to do it Get yourself a guitar and then you're right into it You play all day and you play all night People say you'll never learn to play the thing right Always messing about, groaning at you Moaning, won't let you practise
So I bought meself a guitar about a year ago The man said I could learn it in a week or so Gave me a little book, pick or two Said, "Here y'are mate, it's up to you" Dirty rotter, cost me ten nicker, all the loot I had Good guitar, though, called it a pluckit
Anyway, spent me dough And I couldn't let it all go to waste, you know So I took the book, guitar and all And I went back home where the trees are tall Down in Woodford, good place to be if you've got a guitar Pretty rotten if you ain't
Well, for weeks and weeks I worked hard And I tried to learn a few main chords The book says they're easy as ABC Cor, my fingers is killing me, got sore on the ends Couldn't hold the strings down Wanted to pack up, cor, I felt rough
Anyway, kept on playing with all me might I could see Mum's hair was turning white And her face was lined with discontent She said her patience was pretty near spent She was nervous, ears ringing, wanted to scream You know, couldn't get no relief
So sister, anyway, she took it worst of all 'Cause she got married the following fall She said "For love" but I got me doubts I think the guitar chased her out She's a game girl, though Just couldn't take it, you know, limit to everything
Dad, he took it a different way He said, you can turn your Mum's hair grey Drive your sister away from home But you or me boy's gonna start to roam And I ain't going, never intend to You figure it out, so I did, fast, you know
Anyway, next day had me clothes all packed And I slung me guitar across me back Caught meself a great long train Searched the world for me share of fame Ain't found none, just hardships, messing about Skiffle, Tommy Steele
Now the world holds seven wonders That the travellers always tell Some gardens and some towers, I guess you know them well But now the greatest wonder Is in Uncle Sam's fair land It's the big Columbia River And the big Grand Coulee Dam
She heads up the Canadian Rockies Where the rippling waters glide Comes a-roaring down the canyon For to meet that salty tide Of the big Pacific Ocean Where the sun sinks in the west In the big Grand Coulee country In the land I love the best
In the misty crystal glitter Of the wild and windward spray Men have fought the pounding waters And met a watery grave Why, she tore their boats to splinters But she gave men dreams to dream Of the day the Coulee Dam Would cross that wild and wasted stream
Now Uncle Sam took up the challenge In the year of thirty three For the farmer and the factory And all of you and me He said, "Roll along Columbia, You can roll down to the sea But river, while you're rambling You can do some work for me."
In the misty crystal glitter
Of the wild and windward spray Men have fought the pounding waters And met a watery grave Why, she tore their boats to splinters But she gave men dreams to dream Of the day the Coulee Dam Would cross that wild and wasted stream
Now from Washington and Oregon You can hear the factories hum Making chrome and making manganese And white aluminum Now the roar of the Flying Fortress For to fight for Uncle Sam On the howling King Columbia By the big Grand Coulee Dam
In the misty crystal glitter Of the wild and windward spray Men have fought the pounding waters And met a watery grave Why, she tore their boats to splinters But she gave men dreams to dream Of the day the Coulee Dam Would cross that wild and wasted stream
Now the world holds seven wonders That the travellers always tell Some gardens and some towers, Why, I guess you know them well But now the greatest wonder Is in Uncle Sam's fair land It's the big Columbia River And the big Grand Coulee Dam.
