Brooklyn Funk Essentials

There was a time, when peace was on the earth,
And joy and happiness did reign and each man knew his worth
In my heart how I yearn for that spirit's return
And I cry, as time flies,
Om, Om

There is a place where love forever shines
And rainbows are the shadows of a presence so divine
And the glow of that love lights the heavens above
And it's free, can't you see, come with me

The creator has a master plan
Peace and happiness for every man
The creator has a working plan
Peace and happiness for every man
The creator makes but one demand
Happiness through all the land

Cool and steady and easy
It makes them like it
What?

The Revolution Was Postponed Because of Rain

The underlying
immediate
political
socio-economic
and trigger mechanism causes
were all in place when
some nee-gro or the other got hungry
had to stop at the McDonald's
had to get on the line
with the new trainee cashier
"uhh, where's the button for the fries?"
so we missed the bus...

Then the leader couldn't find his keys
didn't want some poor ass moving
his brand new 20" and VCR
out his living room on the shoulders.
It was too late when the locksmith came

Then our demo expert Willie Blew got arrested
came out with his head hanging under his hoody
"Didn't know they started doing that
for jumping the turnstiles," he said.
"How many times must we tell you -
Don't.. get.. caught."
We voted against shootin' him on the spot
In the winter we were all depressed
so we leaned our guns against the sofas
and listened instead to Tim Tim Tiree
singing about his dysfunctions:

Cool and steady and easy
It makes them like it
What?

"Sometimes I wonder if ah'll ever be free
free of the sins of my brutish daddee
Like the cheating, the stealing, the drinking, and the beating". . .

The weatherman said the 17th would be sunshine
and it wouldn't be too hot -
Tim Tim Tiree doesn't like sweatin'
but that night the weatherman came on crying
saying he didn't control the weather
that God was real
that he's lucky He, God, didn't strike him, the weatherman, with lightning
for taking the credit sometimes
and that he, the weatherman, was in no way responsible
for the hurricane coming
and that we, the viewers, should
pray Jesus into our hearts
before it was too late.

Superbowl Sunday was out
all the women wanted
to see the game
and the men were pissed
at their insensitivity

The 20th was supposed to be a definite
we looked for some Bastille to storm
didn't find any
settled on the armory instead
before they moved the homeless in...
"We'll bum-rush it anyway," I said
"It smells like a collection
of a thousand farts in there," they said
So we waited for the approval of the city
contract to build a Bastille
which set the revolution back five years.

Cool and steady and easy
It makes them like it
What?

Peace wanted to start the revolution on Tuesday
She was in a pissed-off mood
her tax return didn't come in time for the rent
But they showed the We Are the World video
on cable that evening
and we all held hands
and cried to stop from laughing
and our anger subsided
Looking back, it could've been a plot
but there are more substantive plots to expose
than the We Are the World conspiracy

Now we wait for the rain to stop
All forces on the alert
some in Brooklyn basements
packed in between booming speakers
listening to Shabba Ranks and Arrested Development
bogling and doing the east coast stomp
gargling with Bacardi and Brown Cow
breaking that monotony with slow movements -
slow, hip-grinding movements
with the men breathing in the women's ears to
Earth Wind & Fire's Reasons
and wondering what the weather will be like
next weekend.