Clutch

if you thought it was boring in Jordan
then come out here for a day
and by the way the name's Marcus
but if you like you can call me sensei
well the emperor's in the pigsty
and the geisha's in the shack
and you better believe I'll hold em there
till the feds they pay me back

kamikaze backbone
nine iron spitfire
continental samurai
o my lord
brown sugar, sweet potato
sour mash, baby back
redneck romance bless my soul

hari cari and combines
come dancin with me
hari cari and combines
won't you come dancin with me

yes I'm a new world samurai and a redneck nonetheless
yes I'm a new world samurai and a redneck nonetheless
yes I'm a new world samurai
I can read your mind
check it out I'm like a buzz bomb
yes I'm a new world samurai
check it out I'm like a buzz bomb

so beebopaloobopawhopshamboo
and domo arigato if I got to
beebopaloobopawhopshamboo
and domo arigato if I got to
beebopaloobopawhopshamboo
and domo arigato if I got to
beebopaloobopawhopshamboo
and domo arigato if I got to

Like a fly to doo doo
You need me like a bird needs wings
Or little bunny fufu who needs to bop the field mice
So all the kids can sing

They call me El Jefe
El primo de los matadors
The master of the metaphor,
A chaw chewin' trubador
The one you've come to love and adore,
And I've come to take you away

Take you away
Take you away
Take you away

Take you away
Take you away
Take you away

I'll make you go goo goo
Like a baby that sees candy right before its eyes
I'll kiss your little boo boo
Make it better than it's ever felt before

They call me El Jefe
El primo de los matadors
The master of the metaphor,
A chaw chewin' trubador
The one you've come to love and adore,
And I've come to take you away

I'll take you away now
I'll take you away now

Can you do the two step fleshtone slide?
Well I'll teach you
Can you do the achy breaky eyeball dance?
Well I'll teach you

Can you do the two step fleshtone slide?
Well I'll teach you
Can you do the achy breaky eyeball dance?
Well I'll teach you

They call me El Jefe
The boss and the point man
And I've come to take you away
They call me El Jefe
The boss and the hit man
And I've come to take you away

Perhaps it's just the way the light falls
But everything looks like a target to me
And I don't know where the gun is
But I'm certain that it's pointed at me

And in the jungle, retched jungle
They say the lion eats tonight
And all around it is a colliseum
Dripping with a voracious appetite

I say hey there, fella
Whose soul are you tormenting now?
Hey there, fella
Whose soul are you tormenting now?

In the course of all the previous events
It is evident that something's bound to happen
Come on, rear your ugly head to me
I've got nothing to lose but my apathy

The root of the problem has been isolated
The root of the problem has been isolated
The root of the problem has been isolated
The root of the problem has been isolated

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Just try me
Just try me
What are you waiting for?

Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

Just rear your ugly fucking head
I'll put it on a platter
Just rear your ugly fucking head
I'll put it on a platter

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

Hey there
Hey fella
Hey there
Hey fella

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down

Just try me
Just try me
What are you waiting for?

Come on, motherfucker
Let's throw down
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

I'll make you wish that you'd never been born
I'll make you wish that you'd never been born
I'll make you wish that you'd never been born
Come on, motherfucker
Let's go

Hey there
Hey fella
Hey there
Hey fella

This was always the last place
I expected to be
Once upon an apocalypse
So better make the most of it
So I said to the horsemen
Have a Coke and a smile
So I said to the horsemen
Why not stick around for a while?

But they said You Got The Wrong One Baby
The New Generation is pushing up some daisies
And by decree of Rapture Inc.
We're closing this here market permanently

Coming down like a ton of lead
More bang for your buck
More pangs for the dead
Coca Cola and Armageddon
I like it, like it, yes I do

So they
Tried to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
But it was way off key
So here comes the big RC
The melting pot boils
The bible belt breaks
And young America begins to sing

Coca Cola and Armageddon
We like it, like it, yes we do
Coca Cola and Armageddon
It's The Real Thing now
Come and get it

Temptation of Indulgence
Divides and conquers my mind
An elegy for fading youth
Welcome to mankind

If you provide the spleen
Then I'll provide the ideal
If I provide a puppet
Will you provide the strings?

Revel in the glory
Of a coming of age
Decades of suppression
Released in a rage

Have mercy

How can I seize the day when it is dusk?
You provide the pull, and I'll provide the thrust
Romance is nothing but a sack of lies
But it is truth which I have come to despise

Bacchanal

If I provide the scene
Will you provide the ordeal?
If I provide a crown
Will you provide a queen?

Fine swine, wish you were mine
Bite the apple of my eye
This little piggy never made it home

Helter skelter, run for shelter
Can't escape the boiling swelter
Beat you like the dog that you are

Oh, I could kill you if I wanted
Kill you with my own two hands
Oh, I'm so happy I could kill you
Kill you like a sacrificial lamb

Because you, you are nothing but an animal
With a branding iron on your back
A sight so obscene, a sight so absurd
So many ways to skin a cat

All cut up
All cut up

Everything tastes better now
My hands, these tools, the fatted cow
The swine, the wine, the coming feast
Your Jesus Christ has canine teeth

Fine swine, wish you were mine
Bite the apple of my eye
This little piggy never made it home

Helter skelter, run for shelter
Can't escape the boiling swelter
Beat you like the dog that you are

Because you, you are nothing but an animal
With a branding iron on your back
A sight so obscene, a sight so absurd
So many ways to skin a cat
All cut up
All cut up

Everything tastes better now
My hands, these tools, the fatted cow
The swine, the wine, the coming feast
Your Jesus Christ has canine teeth

Rats over the dishes
Rats over the dishes
Please tell me what the ratties say
Please tell me what the ratties say
Rats over the dishes

And God was certainly a genius
To expose this human weakness

Rats over the dishes
Please tell me what the ratties say
Please tell me what the ratties say
Rats over the dishes

And to think that this was once my home
But now some sick bastard's pleasure dome
They say to build a better man trap
the rats, Will lead a path to your door

Build a better man trap
And the rats will beat a path to your door

And the doorway is a cutaway of flesh and bone
Lay me down upon a bed of roses

Now all will be sanctified
And now all will be purified
And now all will be rectified
And now all will be rectified
And now you will be purified

So you writhe in the deep fry
Squirm like the Earthworm
In that mud called love
That you justified
That will be purified
Whether you like it or not

So you leap from the dung heap
Squirm like the Earthworm
In that mud called love
That you justified
That will be rectified
Whether you like it or not

Well I crashed a Cadillac through the Gates Of Hell
And returned with a Fist Full Of Dollars
And Evel Knievel, like Virgil
Was a gentleman as well as a scholar

I fly like a Retro-glide buckshot
And you know I hang like a hex on a barn
Grind the guardrail like a nail on a file
Above and beyond the hole nine yards

Well I rolled Jesse Helms like a cigarette
And smoked him higher than the highest of the minarets
Jesse James couldn't even handle it
Started looking at me like I was Sanskrit

'Cause in the Great Shining Path of the Great Monster Trucks
There's no such thing as beginner's luck
I'm the Dirty Dozen for the price of one
Get it while it's hot, going, going, going, gone

It's about time you started learning
Started learning to come to where the flavor is
Flavor is

It's about time you started learning
You started learning to come to Where the Flavor Is
Flavor is

The skies are always sunny in the heart of Flavor Country
Where the washer's stuffed with money are growing like grass
Junk bondage racks never cut you slack
But that's the way the racket goes when rounding up green backs

Don't hate me just because I'm beautiful
You'll find that it's really not unusual
When you're raised with The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
A holy trinity in Flavor Country

It's about time you started learning
Started learning to come to Where the Flavor Is
Flavor is

I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle
I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle
And you are my happy trail
You are my happy trail
You are my happy trail
You are my happy trail

Behold the man, a living example
In his likeness sacred profane
Behold the man, what I have done?

The path to hell is paved
With least resistance
But those less traveled by
Shall make a world of difference

Beating myself to a pulp
Extracting from my skull
All those things I've learned to live with
All those things I've loved
All these things are killing me
A perpetual fall from grace
But the hand that feeds
Is the hand that beats me
Fiercely in the face

So I will build myself an effigy
No longer mope in mediocre hell

Behold the man, a living example
Behold the man, what have I done?
Behold the man in his likeness
Sacred profane
Behold the man, a living example
Behold the man, what have I done?
Behold the man in his likeness
What have I done?

Effigy
Effigy
Effigy
Effigy

Behold the man
Behold the man

The icons, betrayal, and guilt
The icons, betrayal, and guilt
The icons, betrayal, and filth
The icon, what have I done?

The fog is rolling in
The tide is high
Diane's as fat can be
Aye, Captain, aye

The guests seem more than pleased
How is the wine?
We shall be underway
On the by and by

Ahead one third (ahead one third)
Ahead two thirds (ahead two thirds)
Full ahead flank
And out from the belly of the whale came a prophet
Amen.

Go shoot the moon, the sun
The Great Divide
I believe there's a storm a' brewin'
Nine crows at nine o'clock nigh

Dutch man at the mizzenmast
Six harpies are singin' to the lee
I believe she's going down
I believe were gonna die, die, die

Fortune tellers make a killing nowadays
Me, oh my
Howdy Doody's past the house of Aquarius
Bring me more whiskey and rye

Big news from the party boat

Oh sir, do not distress
The food is fine
Oh, but I must confess
I do find the wine a wee bit dry

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rye
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
She's sunk full fathom, five five five

Fortune tellers make a killing nowadays
Me, oh my
Howdy Doody's past the house of Aquarius
Bring me more whiskey and rye

Big news from the party boat

Yeah

Can't funk with the feel
Or with the other three
This mother load
Comin' atcha, all 3D's

We got big news
The party boat is here
The band is kicking
And I see lots of beer

And I believe there is gambling
On the deck just below from here

We got Greedo
Solo to the rear
They know the deal
Sacks packed and stacked with

Pieces of eight
A sailor's life for me
Live free or die
Never look a bounty hunter in the eye
Damn

Now where were we?

I think aces high
Sleeves are rolled
Tremendous diamonds
And a mouth of gold

I spent many years a rambling
I'll never change these foolish ways
'Cause fortune tellers make a killing nowadays
Best keep living like a castaway
With my sack packed

Pieces of eight
A sailor's life for me
Live free or die
Never look a merman in the eye
Damn

In the North they call us Rebels
In the South they call us Yankees
Because every other suckers born to do the hokey-pokey
With the skillet lickin' time keepers
The grinnin' reapers
Of a missionary rock star

You can rock it like Sir Sisyphus
But even in its Genesis
It's really quite ridiculous
'Lectro hobo, so now you know
Not to clock the Weeble Wobble Hot Rod Gang
Revelator Big Bang

You can't hang with the heavinesses hung
Among the houses of the rising tongue
S'no fun to crack the axles
But its gotta be done
'Cause whenever you wobble the weebles
You know they get ticked-off

And in the season of Bol-Weevil speaking evil in your ear
And a pile of manure fertilizing all your fears
We yabba-dabba-doo all the way to Shangri-La
Here it is with the rock n' roll outlaw

Where rock is criminal, criminals rock!
Where rock is criminal, the criminals they rock!
Where rock is criminal, criminals rock!

...Like this
Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
I'm a rock n' roll outlaw!
Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Yeah

So you can rock it like Sir Sisyphus
But even in its Genesis
It's really quite ridiculous
'Lectro hobo, so now you know
Not to clock the Weeble Wobble Hot Rod Gang
Yeah, yeah

Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
I'm a rock n' roll outlaw
Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

So you say you want to go to Heaven
Well I got the plans
It walks like the Sasquatch
And it breeds like Kubla Khan

In original dialect
It's really quite cryptical
There are many copies around
But this, my man, is the original, yeah

It's given me powers
But kept me low
Many have scorned this
Modern day Pharisees, fat with espressos

Be leary of Timothy
Clear light and all that
If you want light go stare at the sun
Hell, that boy don't know crap

If you want to know Paradise
And you want to know Hell
Want to drink that cool clear liquor
Better dig a little deeper in the well, my friend

If you want to know Paradise
And you want to know Hell
Want to drink that cool clear liquor
Better dig a little deeper in the well, my friend

You want a mantra?
You want to know?
You want that mantra?
Well here you go

One for the money
Two for the show
And a knickknackpaddywack
Give a dog a handjob

Ooeeooahahtwingtwangwallawallabingbang
Ooeeooahahtwingtwangwallawallabingbang, oh yeah
Ooeeooahah, B-I-N-G-O
Ooeeooahah E-I-E-I-O

Still want that mantra?
Still want to know?
Still want that mantra?
Well here you go

It is written
God has spoken
So put this in your pipe and smoke it

Ooeeooahahtwingtwangwallawallabingbang
Ooeeooahahtwingtwangwallawallabingbang, oh yeah
Ooeeooahah, B-I-N-G-O
Ooeeooahah E-I-E-I-O

Then against my better judgment I went walking out that door
I smiled at one person then I nodded to three more
One man asked me for a dollar, I asked him what it's for?
He said, "I have seen them." I said, "Okay, it's yours."

And as featured on the MTV, the local high school lets out
And the town becomes anarchy
Parties are crashed, skid marks are measured
The story's in the paper, you may read it at your leisure

Get out, eject
Escape from the Prison Planet
Get out, eject
Escape from the Prison Planet

And to the tune of a billion dollars I supplied to the D.O.E.
Some tasty little nuggets of alien technology
And as one might expect, I've been harassed for years
The Men In Black have been bending my ear
As a matter of fact, they were just here today
But I escaped them through a secret passageway
Once I lived there for one thousand days

Get out, eject
Escape from the Prison Planet
Get out, eject
Escape from the Prison Planet

I have plans for the future, guess they're futuristic plans
Move out west and buy some desert lands
Or maybe up North, just past Alaska
You know nothing of this if they ask you

Red Rover, Red Rover, Bob Lazar's coming over
So honey clear the airstrip and light up that stove
By Jove, I think it's started, oh yeah
Escape from the Prison Planet

Billion people harvest on Mars
Rebuild the remnants of the obelisk
One mile from the pyramid

Escape From the Planet of the Apes
Go forth, ad infinitum
Return the relics to the elephants
And Atlantis rises

Get out, eject
Escape from the Prison Planet
Ejector seat ignite

Billion people harvest on Mars
Rebuild the remnants of the obelisk
One mile from the pyramid

Escape From the Planet of the Apes
Go forth, ad infinitum
Return the relics to the elephant
And Atlantis rises

Dodge Swinger 1973, Galaxy 500
All the way, stars green, gotta go
Dodge Swinger 1973, top down, chassis low
Panel dim, light drive, Jesus on the dashboard
T-minus whenever it feels right, Galaxy 500
Planets align, a king is born

Whenever it feels right
Whenever it feels right
Whenever it feels right

Dodge Swinger 1973, flaps down, chassis free
Buzz Aldrin, Armstrong, or maybe just me
Don't worry, it's coming
Don't worry, it's coming
Jesus on the dashboard, oh yeah

Whenever it feels right
Whenever it feels right
Whenever it feels right

Yeah, yeah, yeah
I turn on the radio

Hey kid, are you going my way?
Hop in, we'll have ourselves a field day
We'll find us some spacegrass
Lay low, watch the universe expand

Skyway, permanent Saturday
By the way, Saturn is my rotary
Hop in, it'll be eternity
Till we make it to M83

Once around the Sun, cruising, climbing
Jupiter cyclops winks at me, yeah, he knows who's driving
Hit neutral in the tail of a comet
Let the vortex pull my weight
Push the seat back a little lower
Watch light bend in the blower
Planets align, a king is born
Dodge Swinger

Jesus on the dashboard, oh yeah

Whenever it feels right
Whenever it feels right
Whenever it feels right

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
I turn on the radio

Hey kid, are you going my way?
Hop in, we'll have ourselves a field day
We'll find us some spacegrass
Lay low, watch the universe expand

Skyway, permanent Saturday
By the way, Saturn is my rotary
Hop in, it'll be eternity
Till we make it to M83

Yeah, yeah

Like Marlon Brando, but bigger
You'll find that creature at the bottom of the deep down Susquehanna River
This one I had, it stood right on up to me
Tore out his hook and declared himself a prodigy

But oh no, fishing ain't what it used to be
I've seen some bad years, but this one is just killing me
One little nibble in thirteen years
I really pack 'em in
This one I had, I seen it in dreams
All shacked up with lightning and horizon beams

Well I bring 'em on up and then I pack 'em on in
In all the places I've been
And I swear, it's never been like this before
Least not since 19 and 44
But today, I made a sick discovery
Lead box in Sassafras Cove
Well I brought him on up and then I packed him on in
Oh yes, I'm really cashing in

Wash of the Chesapeake and Appalachian Blue Range
I have discovered the body of John Wilkes Booth
Yes, it's true, I have Mr. Booth
Everybody got to make a living somehow
Do I hear a million?

Yeah

Well I bring 'em on up and then I pack 'em on in
And then I bring 'em on up and then I pack 'em on in
Well I bring 'em on up and then I pack 'em on in
And then I bring 'em on up and then I pack 'em on in

And then I pack 'em on in
And then I pack 'em on in

Woke up this morning, put on my Sunday shoes.
Don't ask me why, it's just the nature of my groove.
I larged down the boulevard, came under attack,
But I rocked them senseless, 'cause honey it's tight like that.

I hung a left down to Lemans' Avenue,
Stagger Lees everywhere, trying to bring me doom, oh no.
And that Old Scratch, he tried to purchase this soul,
That don't confront me, 'cause I'm never in the need of a payroll.
Heck, yeah.

Amen, do it all again.
Rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham.
Spit shine and a three piece suit,
Good Lord I got to thank you 'cause you do it like you do.
Hallelujah, all the people in the back.
Hallelujah, it's tight like that.
Hallelujah, all the people up front.
Tight like that, rapture, rock.

And all you know-it-alls with politic views.
Ideals don't situate themselves in His groove.
So if you want to know, you just got to ask.
But if you don't lose that skin, you'll never be tight like that.
Watch me work, yeah.

Amen, do it all again.
Rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham.
Spit shine and a three piece suit,
Good Lord I got to thank you 'cause you do it like you do.
Hallelujah, all the people in the back.
Hallelujah, it's tight like that.
Hallelujah, all the people up front.
Tight like that, rapture, rock.

Don't try to sell me your New Age guru troubles.
'Cause I'm already reeling doing that good time gospel shuffle.
And all your thumpings about some Armageddon,
Ain't no big deal, 'cause I already hang with Him.

Amen, do it all again.
Rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham.
Spit shine and a three piece suit,
Good Lord I got to thank

Listen up you stinking maggots
It seems you just don't get it
Well I've been appointed to inform you
Your days are numbered

You would cry, you would scream
If you knew half the things I see
Please, please just do as I say
Repent and leave your evil ways

Meanwhile, planes drop from the sky
People disappear and bullets fly
Little grey men are coming our way
Tastes just like chicken, they say

Actually they're all around
Secret bunkers underground
Round 'em up, skin 'em alive
Rolling, rolling, rolling, rawhide

Carter is a clone
Dozen brothers 'round the globe
MJ-12 damned us to hell
Scroll and Key, Skull and Bone

It's only just begun
The best is yet to come
Area 51
The spawn of Babylon

Couldn't give a damn about JFK
Everything's conspiracy
Wouldn't be surprised if they have their way
Tastes just like chicken, they say

I know it's hard to swallow
It must sound too far fetched
But you can bet your bottom dollar
I ain't going with the rest