Yeah, come on, a-come on, a-come on, a-come on Tiggy tiggy tee tone tee tone tiggy tee tig tee tiggy tiggy a too (Uh, hoo) Uh, one time Come on, come on, come on, c-c-come on Come on come on a-come on a-come on, you don't stop Yeah, 1-2, 1-2 The best MC in history (Check me out) MC...MC....MC....
Now I'm a break it down in the UNKLE style Drums of death that are worth your while In the file, I'll dial, I said Anyone who says we're not versatile Cause it's me, M-I-K-E to the D Getting down, U-N-K-L-E For this you pay a fee It's not for free We're coming to the end of the century Crossing continental with these beats And getting your ass up and out your seats The drop-top up with the Flintstone feats We're gonna put you down with the tasty treats Hand me the mic and I will say Living positive each and every day Whether in the fall or the month of may Lavelle be getting down with no delay
Yeah drums of death y'all Put me to the test y'all Never rest, y'all, yeah Check it out, uh
I got a little story to tell With DJ Shadow and James Lavelle It starts right now in history And I am known as the rapper Mike D. Funky funky beats, one-two, break it down Deliver it on down with the A-1 sound Ounce by ounce and pound for pound Got the shit that's out of bounds The beat's on time and I hope you feel Nice and complete like a happy meal Sounds of tomorrow. Can't y'all just steal? Or is it too hectic for y'all to deal? Gotta keep moving 'till we hit the top My boys Unkle gonna let the beat drop Grab the mic and I start to mop Like I done since day one in the game of hip-hop! Hip hop....hip hop
(Sample:) Whew, that was hot! Now, dig this....
Yeah drums of death y'all Yeah drums of death y'all Yeah drums of Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah drums of Yeah drums of death y'all Yeah-yeah, drums of death all-all Dums of...yeah-yeah drums of, yeah-yeah-yeah I'ma break it down in the UNKLE style UNKLE style UNKLE style UNKLE style I'ma...break...it....down...in the...UN....KLE....style Funky funky beats Yeah, drums of death, you know what I'm sayin'? Uh-uh, straight more money-makin Money-makin', ho!
Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat Yea... And I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat A lot of people they be Jonesin' just to hear me rock the mic They'll be staring at the radio stayin' up all night So like a pimp I'm pimpin' I got a boat to eat shrimp in Nothing wrong with my leg I'm just B-boy limpin' Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumpin' on a float My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat oowah oowah is my disco call MCA "hu-huh" I'm gettin' rope y'all Routines I bust and the rhymes that I write And I'll be busting routines and rhymes all night Like eating burgers or chicken and you'll be picking your nose man I'm on time homie... that's how it goes You heard my style I think you missed the point
"It's the joint"
Mike D yea with your bad self running things What's up with your bad breath onion rings Well I'm Mike D and I'm back from the dead Chillin' at the beach down at Club Med Make another record 'cause the people they want more of this Suckers they be saying they can take out Adam Horovitz Hurricane you got clout Other DJ's he'll put your head out A puppet on a string I'm paid to sing or rhyme Or do my thing I'm In a Lava lamp inside my brain hotel I might be freakin' or peakin' but I rock well The Patty Duke the wrench and then I bust the tango Got more rhymes than Jamaica got Mango I got the "peg leg" at the end of my stump-a
"Shake your rump-a"
A full clout ya'll, a full clout ya'll And when the mic is in my mouth I turn it out ya'll A full clout
Never been dumped 'cause I'm the most mackinest Never been jumped 'cause I'm known the most packinest Yeah we've got beef chief We're knocking out teeth chief And if you don't believe us you should question your belief Keith I'm Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat Like Fred Flintstone driving around with bald feet Should I have another sip na skip it In the back of the ride and bust with the whippet Rope a dope dookies all around the neck *Whoohaa Got Them All In Check" Running from the law the press and the parents "Is your name Michael Diamond?" No mine's Clarence From downtown Manhattan the village My style is wild and you know that it still is Disco bag schlepping and you're doing the bump
Johnny Ryall is the bum on my stoop I gave him fifty cents to buy some soup He knows the time with the fresh Gucci watch He's even more over than the mayor Ed Koch Washing windows on the Bowery at a quarter to four 'Cause he ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more Living on borrowed time and borrowed money Sleepin' on the street there ain't a damn thing funny Hand me down food and hand me down clothes A rockabilly past of which nobody knows Makes his home all over the place He goes to sleep by falling down on his face Sometimes known as the leader of the homeless Sometimes drunk and he's always phoneless Sleepin' on the street in a cardboard box He's better off drinkin' than smokin' the rocks
Johnny Ryall x 4
He drinks where he lies He's covered with flies He's got the hand me down Pumas and the tie dyes Go upstate and get your head together Thunderbird is the word and you're light as a feather Detox at the flop house no booze allowed Remember the good old days with the rockabilly crowd Memphis is where he's from He lives in the street but he's no bum He's a rockabilly star from the days of old He used to have teeth all filled with gold A platinum voice but only gold records On the bass was boots on the drums was checkers Luis Vuitton with the Gucci guitar Johnny Ryall Who do you think you are
Johnny Ryall x 4
Donald Trump Donald Tramp living in the Men's Shelter Wonder Bread bag shoes and singing Helter Skelter He asks for a dollar you know what it's for Bottle after bottle he'll always need more He's no less important than you working class stiffs Drinks a lot of liquor but he don't drink piss Paid his dues playing the blues He claims that he wrote the Blue Suede Shoes Elvis shaved his head when he went into the army That's right y'all his name is Johnny
I looked out the window and seen his bald head I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair Launched that shot and he was caught out there Saw the convertible driving by Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly He went for his to find he didn't have one Put him in check correct with my egg gun The egg a symbol of life Go inside your house and bust out your wife Pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke The trigger I pulled his face the yoke Reached in his pocket took all his cash Left my man standing with an egg moustache Suckers they come a dime a dozen And when I say dozen you know what I'm talking about
Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg He was playing the wall and then he broke his leg Tossed it out the window three minutes hot Hit the Rastaman he said bloodclot Which came first the chicken or the egg I egged the chicken then I ate his leg Riding the trains in between cars When I pull out the station you're gonna get yours Drive by eggings plaguing L.A Yo they just got my little cousin ese Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy People laugh it's no joke My name's Yauch and I'm throwing the yoke Now they got me in a cell but I don't care It was then that I caught catching people out there
We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze's back Sam I am down with the program Green eggs and ham Yosemite Sam Come Halloween you know I come strapped I throw it at a sucker K-pap You made the mistake you judge a man by his race You go through life with egg on your face You woke up in the morning with a peculiar feeling You looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling Families puck rocks the businessman I'll dog anybody with an egg in my hand Not like the crack that you put in a pipe But crack on your forehead here's a towel now wipe
They can't catch me never gonna find me They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter Pulled over to the river to take a rest Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack A long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display Check the odometer and I was on my way 'Cause I'm a high plains drifter the best that you can get A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes Radar detector to tell me where the cops is Spend another night at the Motel 6 It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob I left my car outside and the engine is still revvin' Time to get busy at 7-Eleven I went inside to make my withdrawal I would've took what he had had had I had to take it all
Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice 'Cause I'm a mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade Made my getaway and I thought that I had it made I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right Cop knocked on my window and said Boy where's the fire You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire Outta the car longhair your goose is cooked Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury I'm the High Plains Drifter and I'm never in a hurry Read me my rights as if I didn't know this Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer My man turned to me and said why are you here? I said I'm charming and dashing I'm rental car bashing Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D He said you behave son or we'll throw away the key Harry Houdini'd out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee Took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B I had a good feeling easy come easy go I bet on one horse to win and your mother to show And sure enough that nag came in Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win And then I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger Hot wired hot wheeled and Suzy is a headbanger
Now here we go dropping science dropping it all over Like bumping around the town like when you're driving a Range Rover Expanding the horizons and expanding the parameters Expanding the rhymes of sucker M.C. amateurs Naugels, Isaac Newton Scientific E.Z Ben Franklin with the kite getting over with the key Now rock shocking the mic as many times times the times tables Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables 'Cause I've been dropping the new science and kicking the new knowledge An M.C. to a degree that you can't get in college The dregs of the earth and the eggs that I eat I've got pegs through my hands and one through my feet Shea Stadium the radium E M D squared Got kicked out of the Palladium you think that I cared It's the sounds of science The sounds of science
Public service announcement
Time and money for girls covered with honey You lie and aspire to be as cunning Reeling and rockin' and rollin' B size D cup Order the quarter deluxe why don't you wake up My mind is kinda flowin like an oil projector Had to get up to get the Jimmy protector Went berserk and worked and exploded She woke up in the morning and her face was coated Buddy you study the man on the mic D. do what you like Drunk a skunk am I from the celebration To peep that freak unique penetration I figured out who makes the crack It's the suckers with the badges and the blue jackets A professor of science 'cause I keep droppin' it I smell weak 'cause you keep poppin' it People always asking what's the phenomenon Yo what's up know what's going on No one really knows what I'm talking about Yeah that's right my name's Yauch
Ponce De Leon constantly on The fountain of youth not Robotron Peace is a word I've heard before So move and move and move upon the dance floor I'm gonna die gonna die one day 'Cause I'm goin and goin and goin this way Not like a roach or a piece of toast I'm going out first class not going out coach Rock my Adidas never rock Fila I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla With my nose I knows and with my scopes I scope What I live I write and that is strictly rope I've got science for any occasion Postulating theorems formulating equations Cheech wizard in a snow blizzard Eating chicken gizzards with a girl named Lizzy Dropping science like when Galileo dropped his orange
I stay up all night go to sleep watching Dragnet Never sleep alone because Jimmy's the magnet I'm so rope they call me Mr. Roper When the troubles arise you know I'm the cool coper On the mic I score just like the Yankees Get over on Ms. Crabtree like my main man Spankee Excuse me young lady I don't mean to trouble ya But you're looking mighty fine inside your B.M.W I got lucky I brought home a kitten Before I got busy I schlepped on my mitten Can't get better odds 'cause I'm a sure thing Proud Mary keeps on turning rolling like a Ring Ding Jump the turnstile never pay the tool Doo wa diddy bust with the pre-roll Customs jail me over an herb seed Don't rat on your boy over some rat weed ??? Not perfect grammar always perfect timing The Mike stands for money and the D. is for diamonds
(Out of your back door and into another Your boyfriend doesn't know about me and your mother) Roses are red the sky is blue I got my barrel at your neck so what the fuck you gonna do It's just two wheels and me the wind in my eyes The engine is the music and my nine's by my side 'Cause you know why a you see H I'm takin' all M.C.'s out of the place Takin' life as it comes no fool am I I'm goin' off gettin' paid and I don't ask why Playin' beats on my box makin' music for the many Know alota funky girls who like to do their thing A lot of parents like to think I'm a villain I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan I smoke cheeba it helps me with my brain I might be a little dusted but I'm not insane People come up to me and they try to talk shit man I've been making records since you were sucking on your mother's limp dick
Girl you're walking tall now with your fancy clothes You got fancy things going up your nose You get fancy gifts from expensive men You're a dog on a leash like a pig in a pen Mothership connection getting girl's affection If your life needs correction don't follow my direction You got your 8 by 10 your agent your Harley You be driving around Hollywood yes sorry charlie 'Cause I'm running things like some Mack motherfucker Your only claim to fame is you're a false fake sucker You slip you slack you clock me you lack While I'm reading on the road by my man Jack Kerouac (My veins are like vines Filled with red wine) Poetry in motion coconut lotion I had to diss the girl because she got too emotional Are you experienced little girl I want to know what goes on in your little girl world Give time for your mind it's hard to forget me I'll take your pride for a ride if you let me So peace out now, and keep peacing out Full throttle to the bottle and full full clout And I'm out
Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya There never was a city kid truer and bluer There's more to me than you'll ever know And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon And I'm always out looking for a female companion I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib I took off her moccasins and put on my bib I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling Your body's on time and your mind is appealing Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling Some such nonsense is the bass that I'm throwing Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing She's talking to the kid to the who I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did
Hey ladies ! All the ladies in the house The ladies, the ladies
Me in the corner with a good looking daughter I dropped my drawers and it was welcome back Kotter We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet In my apartment I begged her please stop it The gift of gab is the gift that I have And that girl ain't nothing but the blue plate crab Special at Woodman's in Essex Mass Educated no stupid yes And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large With the white sassoons and the looks that kill Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie 'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around You be listening to my records' a number one sound Step to the rhythm step step to the ride I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside Tune in tune on to my tune that's live Ladies flock like fish to my line
Hey ladies !
She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door Break up with your girl it ended in tears Vincent Van Gogh and mail that ear I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking She said come on over it was me that she missed I threw that trash can through her window'cause you know I got dissed Your old lady left you and you went girls insane You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak Sucking down pints till I didn't know Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho 'Cause I announce I like girls that bounce With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce Girls with curls and big long locks And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and She thinks she's the passionate one
Rolling down the hill snowballing getting bigger An explosion in the chamber the hammer from the trigger I seen him get stabbed I watched the blood spill out He had more cuts than my man Chuck Chillout 24 is my age 22 is my gauge I'm writing rhymes on a page going off in a rage Out on a mission a stolen car mission Had a small problem with the transmission 3 on the tree in the middle of the night I have this steak on my head'cause I got into a fist fight Life comes in phases take the good with the bad You bought those coins on the street and you got had It's all high spirit you know you gotta hear it Don't touch the mic baby don't come near it
It's gonna get you it's gonna get you It's gonna get you girl it's gonna get you
Looking down the barrel of a gun Son of a gun son of a bitch Getting paid getting rich Ultra violence running through my head Fuzzy navel y'all making me see red Rapid fire Louie like Rambo got bullets I'm a gonna die harder like my kid Bruce Willis Drummond I love girlies waxing and milking Got more excuses than my man Dave Scilkin Predetermined destiny is who I am You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam I am Like Clockwork Orange going off on the town I've got posse bonanza to beat your ass down I'm mad at my desk and I'm writing all curse words Expressing my aggressions through my schizophrenic verse words You're a headless chicken chasin' a sucker free basin Looking for a fist to put your face in Get hip don't slip knuckle heads Racism is schism on the serious tip
Some static started in the pool hall In a motherfucker's face with the cue ball Then I met this girl she tried to gank me So I smacked her in the pocket with M.C. Plank Bee Me and my crew out breaking windows The bingo the lotto you know I'll never win those Possession is half the law I had my routines before all y'all Your whole life is coming apart at the seams You ain't nothing but a car thief biting routines I'm a city slicker I ain't no townie Right now I wish I had another hash brownie Like Ricky always said you've got to toke and pass Or Mookie's gonna kick your fuckin' ass You try to take what isn't yours like a God damn rat See personally I wouldn't want to go out like that I'm a writer a poet a genius I know it I don't buy cheeba I grow it I'm a farmer people always trying to get next to me But I'm down with Jalil Donkey and Ecstasy Smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer Because I had to deal with a money hungry miser Had a caine filled Kool with my man Rush Rush Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush You be doing nose candy on the Bowie Coke Mirror My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her You can't deny me you always want to try me You're just gonna get your ass kicked Homeboy throw in the towel Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell The Godfather of Soul is in the belly of the beast For smoking that dust at St. Anthony's Feast
All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters Sitting in the White House pulling their peters Buy me cheeba from the cop down the street The only cop with a rope chain walking the beat Like a sneaky pouch time bomb tickin' Like the beat to my rhyme just kickin' Space cake cookies I discover who I am I'm a dusted old bummy Hurdy Gurdy Man Five-O caught me now I'm going to the mountains Said good-bye to my girl my lawyers and accountants My mind is kinda rhymin and I think I oughta think So I'm rockin all the rhymes and I'll have another drink So the lights are flashing my mind is spinning I feel like it is always the beginning Of another rhyme I'm rapping M.C.'ing I rock You ain't nothing but a car thief who must be stopped
