Little Jackie

It's a typical day in the universe
Another MC spits a puny verse
I try to get through my day without sayin? a curse
Because I curse too much and such and such

I try to improve my vocabulary
I try to cut out eatin? meat and dairy
I wanna bring back the days of the tooth fairy
'Cause I lost my innocence

I'm young and dumb and old and wise at the same time
?Cause I know Jesus was a rock star
And it was Elvis who turned water into wine
I wanna save a kangaroo from a life in a zoo
I wanna own a llama, I want less drama in my life
I think I really wanna be a happy housewife

I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin? like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me

I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When I was swiggin? my Bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me
Keepin? myself company

I think back all the days I was smokin? carawhack
It was really kinda like an addiction, non fiction
Just readin? my days and nights away
I used to pray to a funny little fat man
'Til I found out he was Santa Clause
'Cause Saint Nick never brought shit
And there I go cursin? again

I'm my only friend and I'm definitely my very worst enemy
It kinda triggers a memory, let's bring it back to 83
When I ate a watermelon, swallowed the seeds
Suddenly there was a watermelon growin? in my tummy
I skipped a jump rope, every time I jumped up
I heard a rattle that sounded like a tambourine

I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin? like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me

I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When I was swiggin? my Bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray ?cause it's just me
Keepin? myself company

Hey mama, are you proud of me?
I applied for a job at MickeyD's
I gotta do somethin? with my life
Because my idle time is eatin? me

Like I'm a super sized french fry
Drenched in ketchup, fryin? over patch up
But I know I taste better than that
Like they used to taste before they outlawed trans fat

I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin? like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me

I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When I was swiggin? my Bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me
Keepin? myself company

I'm just like black Barbie
The life of the party
I light up the TV
Arrested for D-WI's

Sent me to the slammer
Did time without glamor
Time stood still
Without my pain kill pills

Don't need a lawyer
I got Diana Sawyer
She'll interview me and prove
That I'm not guilty

I'm a reformed slut
I'm a much better woman
After the twelve step program
And now I can drink again

Cheers to my publicist
For making me look like an angel
Cheers to the media
I'm back form hell with a story to tell

Before I'd make believe
I'm a celebrity
All the boys wanna get with me
I am too sexy

I'm black Barbie
Up all night having fun
I love to party
Just like the white one

I believe in make believe
I believe in making me
Black Barbie, I love to party
Up all night having fun
Just like the white one

I live the simple life
I am the socialite
I got no appetite
Ain't got no cellulite

Got a disorder
I eat all the time
I'm part Ethiopian
That's why I stay so thin

Yeah, never ever
Had to watch my weight
Just call my publicist
She'll get my story straight

Went from a size 8 to a 0
Just like magic
I'm a weight loss hero

Bon appetite, I promise I eat
I'm a mess in a designer dress
I've been so distressed, I confess
But there's no such thing as bad press

Before I'd make believe
I'm a celebrity
All the boys wanna get with me
I am too sexy

I'm black Barbie
Up all night having fun
I love to party
Just like the white one

I believe in make believe
I believe in making me
Black Barbie, I love to party
Up all night having fun
Just like the white one

Cool, hot, I'm cool, I'm hot
I'm chilling and so slim
I live in a perfect world
I live in a perfect world
I live in a perfect world
I live in a perfect world

Before I'd make believe
I'm a celebrity
All the boys wanna get with me
I am too sexy

I'm black Barbie
Up all night having fun
I love to party
Just like the white one

I believe in make believe
I believe in making me
Black Barbie, I love to party
Up all night having fun
Just like the white one

Girl, you ain't got shit on me
Ain't got shit on NYC
Got nothin' on this city
Save all that cryin? for the queen

Go back to the motherland
Have your mama hold your hand
If you eat your eggs with runny beans
Save all that cryin' for the queen

Judgin? your behavior
And your junkie routine
It's time for you to get clean
And stop creatin? a scene

Girl, you ain't got shit on me
Ain't got shit on NYC
Got nothin? on this city
Save all that cryin? for the queen

There's a recall on all employees
Who behavin' all out of sorts
Who can't hold their liquor
Quicker, ya'll get off my turf

I'll show you who got the curve
Think I'm being territorial?
I'ma get patriotic on ya ass
Stars and stripes actin? all sassy and crass

Class is in session
Please stand for the pledge
All you pretty party girl
Step away from the ledge

Have a seat, so I can begin to teach
Today we're gonna learn
About the word moderation
Liberty and justice
And somethin' like one nation

Girl, you ain't got shit on me
Ain't got shit on NYC
Got nothin? on this city
Save all that cryin? for the queen

Go back to the motherland
Have your mama hold you hand
If you eat your eggs with runny beans
Save all that cryin' for the queen

Judgin' your behavior
And your junkie routine
It's time for you to get clean
And stop creatin? a scene

Girl, you ain't got shit on me
Ain't got shit on NYC
Got nothin? on this city
Save all that cryin? for the queen

Those who know me, know I ain't
No straight lace sober freak
But when it comes time to get the job done
I make sure I'm at least able to speak

Try to give a damn about presentation
Try to make it look like it's not a vacation
People paid to see a show
They didn't just make a kind donation

When you're singin' that song
For the one millionth time
And you're too gone to see
That you no longer shine

You start wishin' for another way
To make your dime
You wanna make a buck in America?
Grab an application and get in line

Girl, you ain't got shit on me
Ain't got shit on NYC
Got nothin? on this city
Save all that cryin' for the queen

Go back to the motherland
Have your mama hold your hand
If you eat your eggs with runny beans
Save all that cryin' for the queen

Judgin? your behavior
And your junkie routine
It's time for you to get clean
And stop creatin' a scene

Girl, you ain't got shit on me
Ain't got shit on NYC
Got nothin' on this city
Save all that cryin'

'Cause you know you'll be missin?
That same ol' tune
Two weeks what you look like
Every afternoon

Then it comes you'll be like
Cha ching, cha ching
But minimum wage after taxes is like
You must be fuckin' kiddin'

We tough as nails in my family
You mess with them, yo, you messin' with me
Wouldn't believe the shit we've been through
Mark my words, better me than you

We was brought up in a battle ground
Every third day, thugs be comin' around
They been sent the way 'cause we were bound
To bear the burden of what went down

It was our business
Even if it hurt we were self righteous
Social services parked outside
Tried to take us away
Mama wouldn't abide, na, na, na

We've laughed and we've cried
Through the hardships we've been tied
You gotta chose your battles right
Know when to forfeit, know when to fight

We get a little bit closer every time we ride
A little bit tougher every time we die
A little better 'cause at least we tried
A little bit nicer 'cause we know we fly

That's how we roll in my family
To add insult to injury
If you use a knife, cut straight to bone
Go hard or go home

A couple cuts and bruises were easy to hide
Sun glasses hide a black eye
But you can't run away from a black soul
So many secrets we never told

Why your clothes be dirty'
Why your hair all messy'
Why you look so ill'
Couldn't pay the water bill

Had to keep the light on for the homework
So excuse us, we got a couple of quirks
I trivialize 'cause the truth hurts
So much more than a little dirt
Even if it's all bottled up inside
It's a lot more noble than a suicide

We survive, we alive, we got pride
We be tight
You know we ride to a certain degree
To keep that shit in the family

We get a little bit closer every time we ride
A little bit tougher every time we die
A little better 'cause at least we tried
A little bit nicer 'cause we know we fly

That's how we roll in my family
To add insult to injury
If you use a knife, cut straight to bone
Go hard or go home

It takes a lot more courage to love
Than it does to hate
Anyone who's got a family can relate
Ain't never really dissipates
May take my whole life to get it straight
But it makes me who I am
And I wouldn't trade that for nothin'

We get a little bit closer every time we ride
A little bit tougher every time we die
A little better 'cause at least we tried
A little bit nicer 'cause we know we fly

That's how we roll in my family
To add insult to injury
If you use a knife, cut straight to bone
Go hard or go home

There probably ain't one woman on Earth
Who hasn't considered this
Men are from another planet
How can we possibly coexist?

They came from Mars
Women came from Venus
We think with our brains
Men think with their penis

Every stereotype
Has a little bit of truth
There's staircase of evidence
If you needed some proof

I?m perplexed by the opposite sex
I'll tell you what's next
Where I'm gonna direct my love
And affection

I'm gonna get with a woman
You know I might as well
I'ma tell every single guy
Who be hollerin?, they could go to hell

Gonna make her my bride
Even though we on the same side
Our lips gonna collide
When we walk down the aisle

Gonna get with a woman
And my ex's will be cryin'
'Cause the ceremony all set
But it won't be so bad

I don't mean to diss
I know I'll be missed
Anyway, guys like when girls kiss

Friends keep tellin' me younger boys
Will eventually be a problem
I swore off being with older men
Again and again

And I thought of givin' up on
Caucasians, Hispanics and Asians
Exclusively being with men
Of an African descent

I'm beginnin' to understand
I'll never ever be content
In any given element
I'm 100% convinced

I wouldn't need to turn into a lesbian
If me and the boys could just stop
Disagreein' on just about everythin'

I'm gonna get with a woman
You know I might as well
I'ma tell every single guy
Who be hollerin?, they could go to hell

Gonna make her my bride
Even though we on the same side
Our lips gonna collide
When we walk down the aisle

Gonna get with a woman
And my ex's will be cryin'
'Cause the ceremony all set
But it won't be so bad

I don't mean to diss
I know I'll be missed
Anyway, guys like when girls kiss

I don't care how wrong it's gonna be
But you gonna be all into me
We're gonna be so happy

'Cause you take what I say seriously
We're gettin' along beautifully
Lovin' me endlessly

Girls kiss girls, we do it so sensually
We turn all the boys
We'll make them go crazy
I'm gettin' my revenge
But how insane it maybe

I'm gonna get with a woman
You know I might as well
I'ma tell every single guy
Who be hollerin?, they could go to hell

Gonna make her my bride
Even though we on the same side
Our lips gonna collide
When we walk down the aisle

Gonna get with a woman
And my ex's will be cryin'
'Cause the ceremony all set
But it won't be so bad

I don't mean to diss
I know I'll be missed
Anyway, guys like when girls kiss

I liked you better before you knew me
You didn't smoke cigarettes, you didn't drink coffee
Drank moderately, now you're an alkie
You didn't even curse when I was a mystery

Back then, back when you didn't know me at all
I thought I caught a nice guy who caught my eye
You didn't have a care, you didn't have a clue
But seems I brought the worst out in you

One day I passed by your apartment
Thinking that I'd catch some girl
Kiss you goodbye with a lingering kiss
I know we broke up, I'll get out of this faze

My imagination gets the best of me
You end up getting the rest of me
The obsessed, crazy, drama queen
If you know what I mean

Anyway, you're never there
You could be anywhere
On an airplane, maybe in a car
On a world tour being a superstar

I liked you better
When you didn't know no better
You didn't think that I was
I was the Antichrist

I liked you better
Before you got a stylist
When friendship bracelets sufficed
But now your wrists are iced

I liked you better before you knew me
You didn't smoke cigarettes, you didn't drink coffee
Drank moderately, now you're an alkie
You didn't even curse when I was a mystery

Back then, back when you didn't know me at all
I thought I caught a nice guy who caught my eye
You didn't have a care, you didn't have a clue
But seems I brought the worst out in you

Five stitches of breaking up started with denial
Fuck, we were just taking off for a while
Thought it was permanent
Better get myself some anger management

Bargaining was the next faze
Gave my word that I changed my ways
I swear to God, I'll be a freakin? little angel
Please just stop putting me through hell

But he didn't buy what I was selling
I spent about a month on Saturn
Dwelling on the past, at last it occurred to me
You didn't give a damn, time to get with the program

I liked you better
When you weren't popular
Before your friends started calling me
The psycho bitch

Trends didn't matter to you
But now you're all into the way you look
Your iPhone ringing off the hook
And my new ring tone
Is the theme of the wicked witch

I liked you better before you knew me
You didn't smoke cigarettes, you didn't drink coffee
Drank moderately, now you're an alkie
You didn't even curse when I was a mystery

Back then, back when you didn't know me at all
I thought I caught a nice guy who caught my eye
You didn't have a care, you didn't have a clue
But seems I brought the worst out in you

It's like night and day, it's like Jekyll and Hyde
I've created a monster, it's alive
I miss the person I was before I became possessed
And the object of everything you detest

I liked you better before you knew me
I liked you better before you knew me
Back then, back when you didn't know me at all
I liked you better before you knew me

I liked you better before you knew me
You didn't smoke cigarettes, you didn't drink coffee
Drank moderately, now you're an alkie
You didn't even curse when I was a mystery

Back then, back when you didn't know me at all
I thought I caught a nice guy who caught my eye
You didn't have a care, you didn't have a clue
But seems I brought the worst out in you

This romance has become
Undone, no fun
Finito, I must go
Even though I don't know

How do you change the weather?
How do you stop the inevitable?

Get gone, be out
Roll out, peace out
Get up and bounce
Bounce, bounce, goodbye

I'm out, so long
Peace out, be strong
Stay blessed, blessed
From up above, one love

Please let me explain
'Cause I know you're in pain
My love, I cannot fake
It's simple and so plain

I find it very hard to maintain
If he starts crawlin'
Through my brain, so I gotta

Get gone, be out
Roll out, peace out
Get up and bounce
Bounce, bounce, goodbye

I'm out, so long
Peace out, be strong
Stay blessed, blessed
From up above, one love
Yo, I could do better

Baby, I'm leavin', see you, bye, bye
I can't stand to see you cry
I cashed in all my frequent flyer
Miles to get me in the sky

This ain't a bitch move
I gotta make moves
I gotta do me before I get did
Live it up before I settle down
And have a kid, and not say
I'm on some other shit, wishin' I'd split

Get gone, be out
Roll out, peace out
Get up and bounce
Bounce, bounce, goodbye

Get gone, be out
Roll out, peace out
Get up and bounce
Bounce, bounce, goodbye

I'm out, so long
Peace out, be strong
Stay blessed, blessed
From up above, one love

He be getting out of the, getting out of the kitchen
When he's finally heard enough of your bitching
Time to drink all your booze [Incomprehensible]
So I'll leave you nothing but a pile of dishes

Girls be flipping and guys be tripping
One foot out the door, it's like a dance, flip it
There was a relationship
But we ain't dancing anymore

Your kitchen's up in flames
There ain't no one to blame but yourself
Your nitpicking will drive a man insane
Throwing that kind of heat
Can give a man a heart attack
Don't you burn them bridges
You can never go back, hey, hey, hey

Kitchen ain't easy on a man
From the fire to the frying pan
From a human to another
It ain't right to hit your lover
It was over like a can of spam

Here's a tip, you're gonna flip
If you don't get a grip, stop giving that lip
You got that fed up, better give some head up
Instead of eating all his butter

Your kitchen's up in flames
There ain't no one to blame but yourself
Your nitpicking will drive a man insane
Throwing that kind of heat
Can give a man a heart attack
Don't you burn them bridges
You can never go back, hey, hey, hey

No use crying over spilled milk
When some thing's gone bad
There ain't no way back
Check the expiration date before it's too late
Ain't the pot calling the kettle black

Take it from a girl who really knows it well
Every single one I had went straight to hell
You can achieve world peace with your tone of voice
Or start World War III, it's your choice

Your kitchen's up in flames
There ain't no one to blame but yourself
Your nitpicking will drive a man insane
Throwing that kind of heat
Can give a man a heart attack
Don't you burn them bridges
You can never go back, hey, hey, hey

This stoop is my throne, this hood is my home
And the sky's always blue by the brownstones
We in Brooklyn, it ain't no Beverly Hills
Basically we pay bills, then chill

It's like east coast bliss, it's like west coast diss
We do it like this and you seal it with a kiss
And a pound, that's just how it go down
It's the protocol, do you feel me all?

Saturday afternoon is all about the 9 to 4
And tonight we're gonna do it some more
Sunday mornin' hear the bands in the church play
All day long, every block there's a new song

Sittin' on the stoop in Bed-Stuy
Always sayin' hi when the brothers walk by
Just got the etiquette, sittin' on the top step
With a bag of chips, sit back, relax, enjoy the trip

We got a neighborly philosophy
I don't mess with you, you don't mess with me
It is what it is, it ain't all hard up in the hood
Sittin? on my front stoop and it's all good

Boys in white beaters and corn rolls
Wear their pants down low so their briefs can show
Girls be always dressed up, givin' their best stuff
Workin? that hairdo, boys are gonna bless you

Always some commotion at the corner store
That the corner cops chose to ignore
Everybody write tune to a different song
When they pass by I bob my head along

I don't spark spliffs but don't mind the aroma
If the deli out of Stella then I settle for Corona
And I claim my spot for the evenin?
Let the part begin, we gonna do it again

Sittin? on the stoop in Bed-Stuy
Always sayin' hi when the brothers walk by
Just got the etiquette, sittin' on the top step
With a bag of chips, sit back, relax, enjoy the trip

We got a neighborly philosophy
I don't mess with you, you don't mess with me
It is what it is, it ain't all hard up in the hood
Sittin? on my front stoop and it's all good

It's all good, it's all good
'Cause I love my hood, love my hood
It's all good, it's all good
'Cause I love my hood, love my hood

Sittin? on the stoop in Bed-Stuy
Always sayin' hi when the brothers walk by
Just got the etiquette, sittin' on the top step
With a bag of chips, sit back, relax, enjoy the trip

We got a neighborly philosophy
I don't mess with you, you don't mess with me
It is what it is, it ain't all hard up in the hood
Sittin' on my front stoop and it's all good

I take it in stride; One day at a time
If I ask no questions I'll hear no lies
How come blessings only come in disguise?
Try them on for size as I vocalize
Ain't nothing gonna get in between me and my flow
Aint' nothing gonna come between me and my afro
My man just left me; what do ya know?
Easy come; easy go!

He came out of the blue
And went right back into it
Had to forfeit because he couldn't get with it
Called it quits and when he spins
He said he didn't have time for my juvenile bullshit

I've had a lot of failed relationships; I don't get involved because I'm not equipped
I believe that the world should revolve around me!
I don't see the point of a partnership; it won't be long until they start to trip
Yessiree, the whole world should revolve around me!

There's only one me in the galaxy
I am an endangered species
This kind of flower don't grow on Earth
Just lettin' you know for what it's worth

This kind of mountain shouldn't cause a depression
So I bide my time with philosophical questions
Not for nothing but what came first
The chicken nugget or the egg mcmuffin?

I got talent and I got tits
I know I'll find another guy who wants to get with it
I'm not convinced that I'm a big fat bore
One man's pleasure is another man's chore

I've had a lot of failed relationships; I don't get involved because I'm not equipped
I believe that the world should revolve around me!
I don't see the point of a partnership; it won't be long until they start to trip
Yessiree, the whole world should revolve around me!


I know I rock and what I got is hot
And you know I got a lot
Cause all that trippin you gotta stop
Before you know it your ass'll be drop

And if you concerned with my biological clock
Since I never grow old my heart is always in stock
Keep screwing that bitch from down the block
I don't need you around I know I rock!

I've had a lot of failed relationships; I don't get involved because I'm not equipped
I believe that the world should revolve around me!
I don't see the point of a partnership; it won't be long until they start to trip
Yessiree, the whole world should revolve around me!