Tim 'Herb' Alexander

Felt a pang late one afternoon
I was fishin' off Muir beach
With Larry LeLonde
Grabbed a tuna salad sandwich
And I started to chew
Pretty soon Ler's yellin
Fish on. Fish on

I was just a little pup
And it was derby day
Was dad and me and Darrell
Out in San Pablo bay
Taco flavored Doritos
And my orange life vest
Dad caught a hundred pound sturgeon
On twenty-pound test
Now he fought that fish for an hour
And a half
Darrell'd say Jump ya sons a bitch!
And he grabbed for the gaff
When we got him in the boat
He measured six feet long
I was so danged impressed I had
To write a song called
Fish on

T'was a bright and sunny day
It was me and Todd Huth
Fishin' shark Stingray
Out of Bohuas Lagoon
Well hey, hey, hey I'll be screwed,
Blued and tatooed
Looks like I got me one of them fish on
Fish on.

To the carpenter and the dainty bride
The grass appears greener on the other side
So let's clarify before we unite
That the grass in never greener on the other side

To the carpenter said the dainty bride
I pledge to you my love tonight
But I will not hesitate to euthanize
If the grass becomes greener on the other side

Said the carpenter to the dainty bride
I would never do a thing to jeopardize
This union I consider prize
Grass never will be greener on the other side

To the preacher man said the dainty wife
He thought the grass was greener on the other side
So I buried in his belly my butcher knife
And ended these years of wretched strife

Said the preacher man to the guilty wife
Though the law may give you twenty years to life
Pray forgiveness in the Father's eyes
And the grass just may be greener on the other side

I once had an icecube
Purty little icecube
Now it's gone
Now it's gone

Her name was Mary
Purty little ice cube
Now she's gone
Now she's gone

She was so shiny,
My purty little icecube
Now she's gone
Where she gone?
She's gone with the others
The shiny little icecubes
Movin' on. Movin' on.

She's gone
Doesn't nothin' ever last forever?

I miss my icecube
Purty little icecube
Since she's withdrawn

I held her in my hand
My chilly little icecube
Was it wrong? Was it wrong?

She slipped away
My moist little icecube
To oblivion, oblivion

She left me standing
With tears on my face
On the lawn
So I wrote this song

Purty little icecube
Where have you gone?

Doesn't nothing ever last forever?

Now she's gone
Nothing ever lasts forever

Doesn't nothing ever last forever?

It's been declared
That it's not wise
To prize something too much
I just wish to find something to
Flaunt the right to
Touch so gently

Doesn't nothing ever last forever?

I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel
I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower, I'm a son of a loaded gun
I'm Rapscallion

When I was young and shiny boy, I tried to dig my way to China
I met the Rapscallion, En route from South Carolina
Then he told me:
<i>[4x]</i>
"I don't like, I don't like you"

I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel
I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower, I'm a son of a loaded gun
Cuz I'm Rapscallion I'm Rapscallion

He said "I'm searching for a colored man"
I said "what colors have you seen?"
He said "I seen 'em black and brown and red
But, but, but the one I seek is green"
Then he told me:
<i>[4x]</i>
"I don't like, I don't like you"

I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel
I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower, I'm a son of a loaded gun
Cuz I'm Rapscallion I'm Rapscallion

I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel
I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower, I'm a son of a loaded gun
Cuz I'm Rapscallion

I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel
I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower, I'm a son of a loaded gun
Cuz I'm Rapscallion

I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel
I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower, I'm a son of a loaded gun
Cuz
<i>[7x]</i> I'm Rapscallion

My friend Fats, he's a hell fo a guy.
Let me tell you why.
He's the epitome of neighborly.

My friend Fats, he's a hell fo a guy.
Let me tell y'all why.
He drips personality.

My friend Fats, he's a heck of a Joe.
You should watch him go,
Bopping in the band shine
With a bota pag of fried wine.

My friend Fats, he's a hell fo a guy.
Let me tell you why.
He's lowbrow nobility.

My friend Fats, he's a jovial sort.
When he's holding court,
The anecdotes go round
And the lager goes down.

My friend Fats, he's a hell fo a guy.
And just as long as he's high
He has no anxiety
About his chemical dependencies.

Fats has no concerns
About the candle that burns
Both ends simultaneous,
Both ends simultaneous.

My friend Fats, he's a hell fo a guy.
Let me tell y'all why.
Not much for ponctuality,
But heck on debauchery.

Fats, he's a hell of a man,
Can't y'all understand.
Him taunting his mortality,
He's unnerved by sobriety.

When the going gets tough
And the stomach acids flow.
The cold wind of conformity
Is nippin' at your nose
When some trendy new atrocity
Has brought you to your knees
Come with us we'll sail the
Seas of Cheese

Here they come
Here come the bastards
I heard it from a confident -
Who heard it form a confidant
They're definately on their way
There's one with this idea
Something about a hammer head shark
Nosehairs and flatus
Best keep your distance because
Here they come here come the bastards
Bury your head deep in the sand
Anonyminity is a virtue in this day and age
Amazing hand dexterity
Flagrant misuse of security
Better run, run, run, run, run
Run Run Run Run, here they come.

I'm gonna teach you how to play the game
of warfare
Suddenly it appears to me
You got a bit much dignity
For your own good, boy
Yes sir, yes sir.

I will rape your personality
Pummel you with my own philosophy
Strip you of your self-integrity
To make you all a bit like me
I said right, left

Sgt. Baker here again
And if you calls me "puddin Tame"
I'll stomp you down, boy
Steers and Queers
Steers and Queers where you come
>From there's just steers and queers
And you ain't got no horns, boy
Yes sir, yes sir

I will rape your personality
Pummel you with my own philosophy
Strip you of your self-integrity
To make you all a bit like me
I said right, left

In a town in southernmost Sicily
Lived a family too proud to be poor
In the year that fever took father away
They hastened for American shores
Now a mother and her son are standing in line
It's a cold day on Ellis Isle
And they look to the Statue of Liberty
For the boy we have American Life

Ong is a Laotian refugee
He works in the audio trade
The smoke from flux is filling his lungs
He's earning minimum wage
Spending spare time down on
San Pablo ave
Once a week gets a woman for the night
And he writes home tales of prosperity
For the boy we have American Life

Bob is an unemployed veteran
Born and bred in the South Bronx
He's living off the streets down in east L.A.
Residing in a cardboard box
Now he plays a little quit and he has a small dog
Searching for aluminum cans
And he hold on tight to his dignity
He was born into American Life

Jerry was a race car driver
And he drove so goddamned fast
He never did win no checkered flag
But he never did come in last
Jerry was a race car driver
He'd say "El solo number one"
With a bocephus sticker
On his 442 he'd light 'em up
Just for fun
Captain Pierce was a fireman
Richmond engine

I just can't seem to blend
Into society
I have no hope for this dim
Simplicity of law and order
By whose rules I see no rhyme in
the reason
I hold no hope for this holy treason
Of love and so soft
By whose standards
They tell me, they tell me
Who are they, who is they

Is It Luck?
My socks and shoes always match
Is it Luck?
There's a foot at the end of each of my legs
Is it Luck?
I can play my bass for you
Is it Luck?
Some gals like to kiss my face
Is it Luck? Is it Luck?
There was food inside your mouth today
Is it Luck?
Your barber cuts your hair just so
Is it Luck?
When the taste of sex is on your lips
Is it Luck ? Is it Luck ?
Cyanide works oh so fast
Is it Luck?
Polyester makes you sweat
Is it Luck?
If a graham cracker gets you off
Is it Luck
Love. Love ?
Is it Luck ? Is it Luck
Said she wanted my body, not my mind.
So, I showed her my dictionary to show her
the words that I know, not quite desiring to,
and how loquacious I can be when I set my
mind down to it. But she wasn't impressed.
Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!
She wasn't impressed at all.....She whispered in my ear!!!
She whispered in my ear, and she said: "Do you wanna
get LUCKY, little boy?" Well, I smiled. Smiled and I said.....
Is it Luck ? Is it Luck
Is it Luck ? Is it Luck
Is it Luck ? Is it Luck
Is it Luck ? Is it Luck
Etc..

As I stand here in the shower
Singing Opera and such
Pondering the possibility that I pull the pud too much
There's a scent that fills the air
Is it flatus?
Just a touch
And it makes me think of you

Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
may have nestled its way into his mighty throat.
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down
the cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine.
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator.
Tommy the cat had many a story to tell,
But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did.
She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit.
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the
oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days.
The sight was beyond belief.
Many a head snapped for double - even triple - takes as this vivacious
feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most
virile of the young tabbys were known to hang out.
They hung in droves. Such a multitude of masculinity could only be
found in one place...
And that was O'malley's Alley.
The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended),
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
the heart of the alleyway.
She knew what she wanted.
She was lookin' for that stud bull, the he cat.
And that was me.
Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee...
Say baby do you wanna lay down with me
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me
Say baby?...Say baby

I've seen them out at Soco
They're pounding sixteen penny nails
The truckers on the interstate
Have been known to ride the rails
The sweat is beating on the brow
Can't keep these fellas down
'Cause those damned blue-collared tweekers
Are runnin' this here town

I knew a man who hung drywall
He hung it mighty quick
A trip or two to the blue room
Would help him do the trick
His foreman would pat him on the back
Whenever he would come around
'Cause these dammed blue-collar tweekers
Are beloved in this here town

Now the union boys are there
To protect us from all the corporate type
While curious George's drug patrol
Is out here hunting snipe
Now they try to tell me different
But you know I ain't no clown
'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers
Are the backbone of this town

Now the flame that burns twice as bright
Burns only half as long
My eyes are growing weary
As I finalize this song
So sit back and have a cup o' joe
And watch the wheels go round
'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers
Have always run this town

Felt a pang late one afternoon
I was fishin' off Muir beach
With Larry LeLonde
Grabbed a tuna salad sandwich
And I started to chew
Pretty soon Ler's yellin
Fish on. Fish on

I was just a little pup
And it was derby day
Was dad and me and Darrell
Out in San Pablo bay
Taco flavored Doritos
And my orange life vest
Dad caught a hundred pound sturgeon
On twenty-pound test
Now he fought that fish for an hour
And a half
Darrell'd say Jump ya sons a bitch!
And he grabbed for the gaff
When we got him in the boat
He measured six feet long
I was so danged impressed I had
To write a song called
Fish on

T'was a bright and sunny day
It was me and Todd Huth
Fishin' shark Stingray
Out of Bohuas Lagoon
Well hey, hey, hey I'll be screwed,
Blued and tatooed
Looks like I got me one of them fish on
Fish on.

"You bastards!"

Here they come... (repeat)

"Shut up, you bastards!"
"You just called me a bastard, didn't you?"

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
)From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foort two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud

My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud

Oh, welcome to this world of fools
Of pink champagne and swimming pools
Well, all you have to lose is your virginity
Perhaps we'll have some fun tonight so stick around and take a bite of life
We don't need feebleness in this proximity

Ask good MacDuff and Donalbain, so many good ideas are slain
By those who would dare not step out of line
But if I have my way tonight and chances are I think I might-
I'll turn those sour minds to grapes of wine

[Chorus]
Welcome to this world

Don't judge the boy by what you hear
The words are heard beyond the ear
The heart and mind are focus for this conversation
But be abound in mystery for that so much you do to me
For there are those who drown in adulation

[Chorus]

If I had a dime for each time that I heard them preach
Well I'd have wicked thoughts upon my brain

I had a friend that took a belt, took a belt and hung himself
Hung himself in the doorway of the apartment where he lived
His woman and his little bro came home from the grocery store
Only to find him dangling in the apartment where he lived

I had a friend who shaved his head
Put his Doctor Martins on
And drew such wondrous pictures in the apartment where he lived
He praised my creativity, though he spoke sarcastically
Oh, the conversations in the apartment where he lived

I had a friend that took a belt, took a belt and hung himself
Hung himself in the doorway of the apartment where he lived
Rock, she thought him spiteful; Ler, he thought him pitiful
Me, I've never been back to the apartment where he lived

I've been to hell. I spell it, I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my druthers I'd screw a chimpanzee-call it pointless

When I need relief I spell it THC
perhaps you may know vaguely what I mean
I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory
As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy-call it pointless

Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV-call it pointless

I've been to hell. I spell it, I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen
And if I had my druthers I'd screw that chimpanzee-call it pointless

The old diamondback sturgeon came swimmin' along
Minding his business one day
Rooting and sniffing and urging to spawn
In the mud flats of San Pablo Bay

A scent came around so he followed his snout
He found what was to his surprise
A golden morsel, a tidbit, a tight bunch of grass shrimp
Was there right before this buck's eyes

He circle round twice and he took a big whiff
Then sucked up this savory meal
Then came a jolt and to the diamondback's surprise
Through his lips cut the cold, barbed steel

In a panic the old diamondback sped to the north
He sped to the east, west and south
But the harder he swam, he still could not break free
From the "tugging" that pulled at his mouth

The old diamondback sturgeon came swimmin' along
Minding his business one day

I pull the blinds then I take my clothes off
Dance around the house like nature boy
My genitalia and pectoral muscles aren't quite what I would like them to be
But you don't see me
No one can see me

I pull my blinds
Fill out my income tax form
Pen in hand I write so legibly
I have my kitty.
His name is Allowishus, I stroke him
But you don't see me
No one should see me

I pull the blinds
For the sun glares off my tele and I find it quite so irritating
I have my videos-loads of Ren and Stimpy
Bottom-a bit of pornography
But you don't see me
No one should see me

Now listen up you know ya come home from working that nine to five and
Lay yourself down on burgundy couch, you know, it never really was
Burgundy. It was red, and you painted with the goddamn sprinkler and
Now you have bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your but every time
You get off of it. You never tell your family, you never tell your
Family because, you know, ol' Junior, he's got no brains, and what can
You do? What can you do? (And old Junior, you know, got a little crazy
With that P.B.J. that one day ??)

[Chorus]
Grab yourself a can of pork soda
You'll be feeling just fine
Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house
Swillin' down them Cans of swine

Ha ha ha! Yes, Dad's an idiot alright!

Well, alright, I'm really starting to worry about you. You had to have
That two-car garage with the large driveway so you could park that
Goddamn boat in it. If it wasn't for the boat (blah blah blah)

[Chorus]

I like Kansas wine

Well, maybe it's something simpler, like your team lost or your
Girlfriend used to be a guy, you know, I don't know. I mean (blah blah blah)

By the light of the lamp I sit to type-my notes on tab at my side
I don't see the sun much these days
A fluorescent tan covers my hide
How much impact shall I have this time?
My goal today is to reac the deadline
I write between the lines
I deal with fantasy
I report the facts
Give them to me, please

Ham and egg sald on white bread keeps me company on nights like this
A pack of metholated cigarettes keeps my air nice and thick
When I write, words flow like coins from a candy box
Get out of my way
I've got something to say

The pulse is beating louder now
The cramps in my hands grow more intense with each
Tik, tik, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap on the keys
My social life is at an end so it seems to be
Why don't I trample on your lawn today?
I'll take skies of blue, turn over skies of grey
I write between the lines
I deal with fantasy
I am the pressman
Acknowledge me

Mother always told me never stray too far from home
The little lady said, "Boy, you'll never have to be alone,
Because,"
You build with fountain pen
You create the memory stain
You are the pressman
Stand up straight, boy

Hello Mr. Krinkle
How are you today?
Seems the rumors are about your team might move away
Now, me I'm sentimental
But I'm not one to cry

Say there Mr. Krinkle let's cruise the Bastard boat
Damn then sonsabitches with their gill-nets set afloat
I flip on my tele and I watch the waters die
C'mon Mr. Krinkle tell me why

Hey ho Mr. Krinkle have you heard the brand new sound
It's a cross between Jimi Hendrix
Bocephus, Cher and James Brown
It's called "Heavy Hometown"
New Wave, cold-filtered, low-calorie dry
C'mon Mr. Krinkle tell me why

It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
The air is getting slipper and it's not to my surprise
My heart, it beats irregularly and the sweat it fills my eyes
I do not mind what I excrete 'cause
I'm here to make a buck
And those that cannot take the heat can take a flying...
Forgive me if I hesitate
It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here

The dogs are barking merrily as Jerry sits on high
If you've studied your Floyd property, you'd know that pigs could fly
Now if you want an encore you might hear it is luck
But me, I'd rather play Residents, 'cause I don't give a...
Forgive me if I hesitate
It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here

Now, Fatty, he's a hell of a guy but he sweats like a dancing mule
He likes to hang out at Checker Gas with the Chets he knew from high school
He sold enough crystal meth to buy a stepside truck
But if you ask me twice I'd say the boy ain't worth a...
Forgive me if I hesitate
It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here

The act of perspiration is far beyond control
If the heat compels to aspirate please try not to miss the bowl
If sweatiness makes you horny, well darlin' I think you're in luck
'Cause all this clever banter gives me the urge to FUCK

It's the guy from the Hamburger Train, mate!

I know something about
opening windows and doors
I know how to move quietly
to creep across creaky wooden floors
I know where to find
precious things in all
your cupboards and drawers
Slipping the clippers
Slipping the clippers
through the telephone wires
The sense of isolation inspires
Inspires me
I like to feel the suspense
when I'm certain you know I am there
I like you lying awake,
your baited breath charging the air
I like the touch and the smell
of all the pretty dresses you wear
Intruders happy in the dark
Intruder come
Intruder come and leave his mark,
leave his mark

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak
And loves to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel

Your life is leaning downhill
Sloping off the outer edge
Your undetermined oyster beds
Were found to be a hedge
You cause the kids of Elmer Fudd
To feed the farmer whose
Cadaver's filled with onion rings
And feet are filled with glue
Now sinister exaggerator
What's your claim to fame?
Is still your favorite Ferlingetti
Found in Auntie Maim?
Your alter life is superceded
Only from above
Your hear is like a silken sponge
That calls saliva love

Come on here, dear boy, have a cigar
You're gonna go far, fly high
You're never gonna die, you're gonna make it if you try;
they're gonna love you
Well I've always had a deep respect
and I mean that most sincerely
The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think
Oh by the way, which one's Pink?
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy,
we call it riding the Gravy Train
We're just knocked out,
We heard about the sell out
You gotta get an album out
You owe it to the people.
We're so happy we can hardly count
Everybody else is just green, have you seen the chart
It's a hell of a start, it could be made into a monster
if we all pull together as a team
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy
we call it Riding the Gravy Train

TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE BEING SHOT IN THE DARK.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE TRAINED NOT TO BARK.
AT THE SIGHT OF BLOOD THAT MUST BE SPILLED SO THAT WE MAY MAINTAIN OUR OIL FIELDS.
TOO MANY PUPPIES.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE TAUGHT TO KILL.
ON THE COMMAND OF MEN WEARING MONEY BELTS THAT BUY MISTRESSES SLEEK ANIMAL PELTS.
TOO MANY PUPPIES.

TOO MANY PUPPIES WITH GUNS IN THEIR HANDS.
TOO MANY PUPPIES IN FOREIGN LANDS.
ARE DRESSED UP SHARP IN SUIT OF GREEN AND PLACED UPON THE WAR MACHINE.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE JUST LIKE ME.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE AFRAID TO SEE.
THE VISIONS OF THE PAST BROUGHT TO LIFE AGAIN.
TOO MANY PUPPIES.
TOO MANY DEAD MEN.

When I woke up this mornin' I felt a pang.
I was hungerin' for some apple pie.
Stumble in the bathroom, hung my hog a little bit.
Washed the sleep out of my eye.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be a fine day.
Scratched myself a bit.
Poured me out a bowl-a corn chex.
Closest thing I could find to apple pie.
Lingerin' taste of toothpaste
Made the milk go down a bit funny.
But you know, them chex they do satisfy.
Oh yeah, this'll be a fine day.
So, after my mornin' rise-n-shine and eat-n-clean.
Had my mind set to hit them streets.
Drizzle from the night left cold puddles out.
Had my black stomp-boots on my feet.
It's my day.

Since I was in kneepants my pop had tried to make me realize.
If I set my mind down to it I could be a big man in the public eye.
So with my big blue collar on,
I set out to find the easy way. What an
Ice cold bath it was when I found you had to pay to play.
To taste the taste it's a tease that never would subside.
The taste is strong but soured by my learned eyes.
Well, if a woodchuck could chuck wood,
He'd get down on his knees to pray.
This little snappy boy might see
The light this ground hog's day.

Through the door it slithers in,
Accompanied by it's peers.
Always groveling for attention,
While no one really hears.
In it's mind it's full of wit
And quite the social king.
It plants itself among the rest,
To give it's deadly sting.

It's just a matter of opinion.


Further now there's a man of taste.
Of talent and precision.
To work and strive at his artform.
Has been his life's decision.
The stage is set. the perfect show
Is put before the mass.
Only to be ridiculed
By some slimy, pompous ass.

It's just a matter of opinion.

I just want to satisfy you
I would like to rectify you
Pay no attention to what you've heard
This mediocrity is so absurd.

But I won't listen to erratic advice
Don't make me ask you nice
I just want to satisfy you
I would like to contemplate you

Perhaps sometime we'll irritate you
I won't listen to sparratic advice
Don't make me ask you twice
I just want to satisfy you

Jellikit [Repeat: x 3]
I just want to satisfy you
Jellikit [Repeat: x 3]
I just want to satisfy you
Jellikit [Repeat: x 6]

Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
may have nestled its way into his mighty throat.
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down
the cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine.
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator.
Tommy the cat had many a story to tell,
But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did.
She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit.
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the
oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days.
The sight was beyond belief.
Many a head snapped for double - even triple - takes as this vivacious
feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most
virile of the young tabbys were known to hang out.
They hung in droves. Such a multitude of masculinity could only be
found in one place...
And that was O'malley's Alley.
The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended),
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
the heart of the alleyway.
She knew what she wanted.
She was lookin' for that stud bull, the he cat.
And that was me.
Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee...
Say baby do you wanna lay down with me
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me
Say baby?...Say baby

You can have a lolly pop
A candy bar, a jelly bean
I'll buy you a rainbow to hang above your door

It's pudding time

Laughter is a sweet you can't put a price on
When laughter's all gone, Daddy won't buy you more

It's pudding time, children...

Money, money, money to buy you things
Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
All kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

San Franciso the striped bass are dying
But you're gonna get that brand new bike

Oh joy

It's pudding time
It's pudding time, children!!!

Pudding time, children....

IT WAS A WEEKEND'S EVE.
I HAD A SEX ON MY BREATH
I WAS LOOKIN' FOR SOMETHIN'TO SEE.
WITH A BORROWED BLACK LEATHER AND MY BEST
FISHIN' HAT.
WELL IT WAS JUST WENDY O.AND ME.
WE CALLED OLD SWAMP
UP ON THE TELEPHONE
AND SAID WE WAS COMMIN' ON
DOWN TO PICK HIM UP AND THEN,
HE SAID, "HEY SNAPPY, ME AND GREENY'LL COME ALONG.
BUT ONLY IF WE CAN BRING A FRIEND."
"HIS NAME IS HAROLD."
I SAID, "OKAY."
NOW, WE HAD A SWAMPER, GREENY, WENDY O.
STANLEY, HAROLD OF THE ROCKS AND ME.
WE HOPPED INTO MY DART AND HEADED FOR THE NIGHTBREAK TO SEE A MAN THEY CALL SCHOOLY D.
HAROLD HE'S FRIENDLY GUY.
HE RAMBLES ON AND ON.
HE'LL TALK THE BALLS OFF A RHINOSAURUS.
FACT IS HE JUST DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.
WELL STAN SAID
" THIS GUY'S PRETTY BIZARRE GUS."
I SAW HAROLD AT A PARTY TROUZY THREW LATE ONE NIGHT.
I SAID,"HEY MAN, DO YOU REMEMBER ME?"
HE SAID "O" COURSE
I DO SNAPDAD AND LET ME TELL YA RIGHT
'BOUT NOW I'M LIT UP LKE AN OL' CHRISTMAS TREE"
"HEY BRO YOU KNOW I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR LET'N ME
HANG WITH YA'ALL ACROSS THE BAY WHEN I LOOK BACK AT THAT NIGHT I GET ME A WARM SPOT ACROSS MY HEART. THEN HE SHOOK MY HAND, AND WALKED AWAY. THAT'S THE LAST I SEEN OF HAROLD.
HAROLD OF THE ROCKS SO IN THE END.
SWAMPER AND GREENY FINALLY SUCCUMB TO THE
WAYS OF HAROLD. AND IN DOING SO EACH GAVE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF HIS SOUL AWAY. WAHT A COUPLE OF DUMBSHITS.

Hello all you boys and girls
I'd like to take you to the inside world
It's quite an irregular place to be
But never fear you're safe with me

Well, maybe

Golden hair of macrame
Against the face that's cut from stone
The white porcelain is screaming ayee

Thank god the boy is not alone

I don't believe in Santa Claus
I don't believe in spite
I have no use for beauty dolls
Especially on this night

I don't believe in miracles
I don't believe in lies
I don't believe in hologram
For I am the Frizzle Fry

Andy's painting green again
This time they might take him away!

When Barrington starts to breathe again
It may just take us all away!

I don't believe in charity
I don't believe in sin
And if you don't believe in me
We'll play this tune over again

I don't believe in pinochle
And I don't believe I'll try
I do believe in Captain Crunch
For I am the Frizzle Fry

Yes I am the Frizzle Fry

Mrs Blaileen - she was a sixth grade teacher
And she controlled the children
By using humiliation
The target always seemed to be Donny
He was a bit slower than the others
When he was quite young
His mother died at the kitchen table
While choking on some food
The fashion of the day
Was bleach and tied Levi's
Donny decided to make some,
But he didn't know to rinse them
So he came to school a reekin'
Bleach stenched filled the classroom
Mrs. Blaileen began to chastise
She made him feel like an asshole
Two feet small

Oh what a lonely boy

Don and Ronald
They always stuck together
For they were a bit different than the others
And they were as tight as brothers
Then Ronald moved away
Now Steven
He was year or two younger
And he really thought he was something
He liked to harass other children
Or anyone he found outnumbered.

Alone Don walks from fishing
Steven and his friend they stop him
They took his hat and they taunt him,
Pimp-slap him with a newspaper
Don lunged forward with his fish knife
Then ran all the way home weeping
He gave his knife to his father and
Said "I think I hurt Steve"

Oh what a lonely boy

Quite a surprise
What an ingenious device
Boredom encompasses my time
I don't know what I should do

Indulging a moment of your time
Seldom the breeder of lies
But you won't believe that it's true
They take to the sky

Southbound Pachyderm

Pinholes through cardboard
At the Sun
Passing the bucks by one by one
Leaving nothing in return

Watching the majest blow past
Speculating which will be the last
Savoring my piece of pie

And there is no reprise
They're filling the sky
Southbound Pachyderm

In the year of our Lord
Call it 1994
A fine vintage of mimicry

There are those that take their sound
From someone else's Toil
Liking to parrots you see

I've seen the likes of Kate Bush
And Van Morrison
Teaching the parrots to sing

Take a Zepplin riff
And you alter it a bit
And make lots of money
It's called plagiarism

You want some of that cheese
Just take a big ol' bite
Careful not to choke on it please

Now here we go
It's called plagiarism

He stood in line with the rest
And waited got his chance
To take his place behind the glass
And watch the ladies dance

It's the nature of things

He stepped into the darkened space
The air was thick and warm
He drops the coins in one by one
The scene unfolds before him

He stands looking eye to thigh
As she looks down from above
Only to be recognized
As his former love

It's the nature of things

Del Davis sold a Christmas tree
Stood up to 8 feet tall
Season was lookin' mighty thin
He'd hoped to sell 'em all
Here he comes with a dollar in his hand
Represents the epitomized man

The boy liked rock 'n' roll
Seemed that's the way he paid his way
With the help of Del and them "Doogs"
There's a bit more joy this holiday

Here he comes...

Oh I can still remember
Jenny Hernando
She was my little lovely one
When I was seventeen.
I remember the day that she
Gave me her viriginity
And then she gave it to everyone
In our vicinity.

Oh I can still remember
Julie Tolentino
The dancing Filipino
We used to run around.
Her and Flouncin' Freddy
Were going hot and steady.
Now she runs a dyke bar,
The biggest one in town.

I can still remember my
Old friend Todd Squelati
I watching him snort a
Milkshake right up his nose.
He slurped it up the left side.
Blew it out the right side.
How he ever kept it down,
I will never know.

Of course I still remember
Ol Flouncin' Freddy
We were pumping gas
Down at El Sobrante Shell
His Mustang was his pride n' joy
He liked to dance the cowboy,
Hanging out at Jack In the Box
But eat at Taco Bell.

Used to come around here
To peddle his wares
A lot more takers now
The turkey "J"
You can taste the air
Around your face
His name was Barrest Jeffries
They picked him up twice
For cooking up amphetamine
Now he's on the tweek again
Drinking county prune
He doesn't mind so much
So we'd sit around the fire
Singing "Kumbaya"
"Kumbaya", I said

They headed southward from San Francisco,
To be with Chuckles and the others.
With electric in the air and peroxide in their hair,
They looked like golden brothers.
They drove a Datsun, an automatic,
The radio blaring static,
He made a face into the light
and burst out laughing at the sight.
The hysteria ensuing would dominate the night.
From all the candy, the seats were sticky,
As they were drawn into the grapevine.
Then "Introduce Yourself" came on
as they barreled through the fog.
The demon puffing madly on a mentholated log.
They were tired, they were sleepy,
So they parked behind the Roxy.
Adam left to use the phone, so he sat there all alone,
When Adam's voice come beaming through on the radio,
He started laughing...

What if Christmas didn't come this year
And no one paid for Christmas cheer?
Who would cry the biggest tear,
The child or the store?
Why do brides wear virgin white?
Most do not deserve that right.
But to choose a color of their delight
Would surely bring on the frowns.
To defy the laws of tradition
Is a crusade only of the brave.
Suppose the taxman, he comes to town,
And you don't lay your money down.
Yet Mr. Jones he killed Mr. Brown the other day.
Well I wonder, who's gonna go to hell.

When I woke up this mornin' I felt a pang.
I was hungerin' for some apple pie.
Stumble in the bathroom, hung my hog a little bit.
Washed the sleep out of my eye.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be a fine day.
Scratched myself a bit.
Poured me out a bowl-a corn chex.
Closest thing I could find to apple pie.
Lingerin' taste of toothpaste
Made the milk go down a bit funny.
But you know, them chex they do satisfy.
Oh yeah, this'll be a fine day.
So, after my mornin' rise-n-shine and eat-n-clean.
Had my mind set to hit them streets.
Drizzle from the night left cold puddles out.
Had my black stomp-boots on my feet.
It's my day.

Since I was in kneepants my pop had tried to make me realize.
If I set my mind down to it I could be a big man in the public eye.
So with my big blue collar on,
I set out to find the easy way. What an
Ice cold bath it was when I found you had to pay to play.
To taste the taste it's a tease that never would subside.
The taste is strong but soured by my learned eyes.
Well, if a woodchuck could chuck wood,
He'd get down on his knees to pray.
This little snappy boy might see
The light this ground hog's day.

Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spilled so that we may maintain
Our oil fields.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies are taught to heal.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.
On the command of men wearing money belts that buy mistresses
Sleek animal pelts.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies.
Skinny was born in a bathtub
And he grew so incredibly thin
Even the tide from the eyedropper sucked him in
Skinny never knew any questions
Skinny never looked alike
Skinny sold somethin' every single night
Skinny sold a soldier to me
Skinny sold the wife
Skinny sold a suction cup and a knife
Skinny found a hello dolly record in the house.
Sold it to a truck driver in the night.
Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and placed upon the war machine.
Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
Too many puppies, too many dead men.

They call me Mr. Knowitall
I will not compromise.
I will not be told what to do.
I shall not step aside.

They call me Mr. Knowitall
I have no time to waste.
My mouth it spews pure intellect.
And I've such elegant taste.

They call me Mr. Knowitall.
I sup the aged wine.
Oh I could tell such wonderous tales
If I should find the time.

I must be Mr. Knowitall
For ideas they come in bounds.
I am Mr. Knowitall
So spread the word around.
They call me Mr. Knowitall

I am so eloquent.
Perfection is my middle name
And whatever rhymes with eloquent.

Hello all you boys and girls
I'd like to take you to the inside world
It's quite an irregular place to be
But never fear you're safe with me

Well, maybe

Golden hair of macrame
Against the face that's cut from stone
The white porcelain is screaming ayee

Thank god the boy is not alone

I don't believe in Santa Claus
I don't believe in spite
I have no use for beauty dolls
Especially on this night

I don't believe in miracles
I don't believe in lies
I don't believe in hologram
For I am the Frizzle Fry

Andy's painting green again
This time they might take him away!

When Barrington starts to breathe again
It may just take us all away!

I don't believe in charity
I don't believe in sin
And if you don't believe in me
We'll play this tune over again

I don't believe in pinochle
And I don't believe I'll try
I do believe in Captain Crunch
For I am the Frizzle Fry

Yes I am the Frizzle Fry

TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE BEING SHOT IN THE DARK.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE TRAINED NOT TO BARK.
AT THE SIGHT OF BLOOD THAT MUST BE SPILLED SO THAT WE MAY MAINTAIN OUR OIL FIELDS.
TOO MANY PUPPIES.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE TAUGHT TO KILL.
ON THE COMMAND OF MEN WEARING MONEY BELTS THAT BUY MISTRESSES SLEEK ANIMAL PELTS.
TOO MANY PUPPIES.

TOO MANY PUPPIES WITH GUNS IN THEIR HANDS.
TOO MANY PUPPIES IN FOREIGN LANDS.
ARE DRESSED UP SHARP IN SUIT OF GREEN AND PLACED UPON THE WAR MACHINE.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE JUST LIKE ME.
TOO MANY PUPPIES ARE AFRAID TO SEE.
THE VISIONS OF THE PAST BROUGHT TO LIFE AGAIN.
TOO MANY PUPPIES.
TOO MANY DEAD MEN.

An overaged boy of thirty-nine has left the wing today.
The first time in his life he's made that step.
Be numbed by the society and plagued by insecurity.
He's entered in a race that must be won.
One of the animals has left its cage today
IN search of better things so it seems to be.
But in this land of polyurethane,
Things are apt to get a bit hot.
As the toys go winding down.
C.G. the Mexican is a friend of mine.
We used to sit around the house watching evil dead.
Talking about the way it used to be...
We used to pull the strippers out of Sand Pablo bay.
Now the delta waters go down So. Cal.
And the strippers start to fade away.
It's pudding time!
It's pudding time!
As the toys go winding down.

You can have a lolly pop
A candy bar, a jelly bean
I'll buy you a rainbow to hang above your door

It's pudding time

Laughter is a sweet you can't put a price on
When laughter's all gone, Daddy won't buy you more

It's pudding time, children...

Money, money, money to buy you things
Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
All kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

San Franciso the striped bass are dying
But you're gonna get that brand new bike

Oh joy

It's pudding time
It's pudding time, children!!!

Pudding time, children....

We are gathered here today
In these majestic halls of old
To honor a man they call
Sathington Willoughby
There's a joke or two
A pun or three
I feel that must be told
Then I go on to speak of
Sathington Willoughby
Sathington Willoughby
The legislator that penned us up a bill
That banned the use of certain things
Like this and that

Why do we do this C.G. and I?
Every night vegetables...
Minds numbed up by T.H.C.
I've got my pen, C.G. the remote.

Laurel and Hardy's the best bet at 4 A.M. on a Friday.
No dreads about the working day after though.
Funny thing about weekends when you're unemployed.
They don't mean quite so much, except you get to hang out with your working friends.
Well, we got us a spaghetti western on 36.

I like spaghetti westerns.

I like the way the boots are all reverbed out walking across the hard wood floors.
In fact everything's got that big reverb sound!

Well, what'll I do now?
Go to sleep!
Pull the pud!
We need new pornos!

Well, I guess I'm still writing...

IT WAS A WEEKEND'S EVE.
I HAD A SEX ON MY BREATH
I WAS LOOKIN' FOR SOMETHIN'TO SEE.
WITH A BORROWED BLACK LEATHER AND MY BEST
FISHIN' HAT.
WELL IT WAS JUST WENDY O.AND ME.
WE CALLED OLD SWAMP
UP ON THE TELEPHONE
AND SAID WE WAS COMMIN' ON
DOWN TO PICK HIM UP AND THEN,
HE SAID, "HEY SNAPPY, ME AND GREENY'LL COME ALONG.
BUT ONLY IF WE CAN BRING A FRIEND."
"HIS NAME IS HAROLD."
I SAID, "OKAY."
NOW, WE HAD A SWAMPER, GREENY, WENDY O.
STANLEY, HAROLD OF THE ROCKS AND ME.
WE HOPPED INTO MY DART AND HEADED FOR THE NIGHTBREAK TO SEE A MAN THEY CALL SCHOOLY D.
HAROLD HE'S FRIENDLY GUY.
HE RAMBLES ON AND ON.
HE'LL TALK THE BALLS OFF A RHINOSAURUS.
FACT IS HE JUST DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.
WELL STAN SAID
" THIS GUY'S PRETTY BIZARRE GUS."
I SAW HAROLD AT A PARTY TROUZY THREW LATE ONE NIGHT.
I SAID,"HEY MAN, DO YOU REMEMBER ME?"
HE SAID "O" COURSE
I DO SNAPDAD AND LET ME TELL YA RIGHT
'BOUT NOW I'M LIT UP LKE AN OL' CHRISTMAS TREE"
"HEY BRO YOU KNOW I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR LET'N ME
HANG WITH YA'ALL ACROSS THE BAY WHEN I LOOK BACK AT THAT NIGHT I GET ME A WARM SPOT ACROSS MY HEART. THEN HE SHOOK MY HAND, AND WALKED AWAY. THAT'S THE LAST I SEEN OF HAROLD.
HAROLD OF THE ROCKS SO IN THE END.
SWAMPER AND GREENY FINALLY SUCCUMB TO THE
WAYS OF HAROLD. AND IN DOING SO EACH GAVE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF HIS SOUL AWAY. WAHT A COUPLE OF DUMBSHITS.

Skinny was born in a bathtub
And he grew so incredibly thin
Even the end of an eye dropper
Sucked him in

Skinny never knew any questions
Skinny never looked at lights
Skinny sold something
Every single night

Skinny sold a soldier toy to me
Skinny sold a wife
Skinny sold a suction cup
And a knife

Skinny found a hello dolly
Record in the hall
He sold it to a truck driver
In the fall

(Hello Dolly)

Here I come, Constantinople
Here I come, Constantinople
I am coming, Constantinople
Here I come

Here I come, Constantinople
Here I come, Constantinople
I am coming, Constantinople
Here I come

All the leaves are off of the oak and
All the sheep have followed the spoken
Word I'm coming, Constantinople
Here I come

As I stand out in the open
All my friends are with you I hope and
Pray I'm coming, constantinople
Here I come

Here I come, Constantinople
Here I come, Constantinople
I am coming Constantinople
Here I come

Here I come, Constantinople
Here I come, Constantinople
I am coming Constantinople
Here I come

Well, here I come, Constantinople
I'm coming, Constantinople
I'm coming with my head held high

Here I come, Constantinople
I'm coming
I can't wait to see you
I'm coming with my head held high
I'm not coming on my knees
I'm coming, Constantinople

Here I come, Constantinople
Here I come, Constantinople
I am coming Constantinople
Here I come

-------------
Lyrics Powered by LyricFind
Written By FLYNN, HOMER / FOX, HARDY WINFRED
<i>Lyrics &copy; Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.</i>