Monty Python [코미디]

Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle And this'll help things turn out for the best. Don't grumble, give a whistle. And.... Always look on the bright side of life, (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life, (whistle) There's something you've forgotten, If life seems jolly rotten, And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing. And... Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle) Come on... And death's the final word, Always look on the bright side of life... For life is quite absurd, You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin, Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow. Give the audience a grin, Just before you draw your terminal breath, So always look on the bright side of death, Life's a piece of shit, Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. When you look at it, You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And always look on the bright side of life, Always look on the right side of life, Come on guys, cheer up. Always look on the bright side of life. Worse things happen at sea, you know. Always look on the bright side of life. I mean - what have you got to lose? you're going back to nothing. You know, you come from nothing, What have you lost? Nothing! (fade...)

Brian...the babe they called Brian, Grew up to be, Grew...grew, grew and grew, Grew up to be, A boy called Brian, This boy whose name was Brian, He had arms, and legs, and hands, and feet A boy called Brian. And he grew, grew, grew and grew, Grew up to be, Yes he grew up to be, A teenager called Brian, A teenager called Brian. Yes his face became spotty, And his face became spotty And things started to grow, And his voice dropped down low, On young Brian and so, No girl named Brian, He was certainly no, And he started to shave, Not a girl named Brian. And want to see girls, And have one off the wrist, And go out and get pissed A man called Brian. This man called Brian. The man they called Brian. This man called Brian.

Sailing Away, Sailing Away. To find, explore, the funds offshore It's fun to charter an accountant And sail the wild accountancy It can be manly in insurance, and scourge the sholls of bankruptcy. we'll up your premium semi-annually. It's all tax deductable, we're fairly incorruptable. We're sailing on the wide accountancy. Sailing Away, Sailing Away.

Spoken: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. IT'S TRULY A REAL HONORABLE EXPERIENCE TO BE HERE THIS EVENING. A VERY WONDERFUL AND WARM AND EMOTIONAL MOMENT FOR YOU. ALL OF US. AND I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG: FOR ALL OF It's Christmas in Heaven, All the children sing, It's Christmas in Heaven, Hark hark those church bells ring. It's Christmas in Heaven, The snow falls from the sky... But it's nice and warm and everyone It's Christmas in Heaven, looks smart and wears a tie. There's great films on TV... And `Jaws' I, II, and III. `The Sound of Music' twice an hour There's toiletries and trains... There's gifts for all the family, There's Sony Walkman Headphone sets And the latest video games. It's Christmas it's Christmas in Heaven! Hip hip hip hip hip hooray! Every single day, Is Christmas day. It's Christmas it's Christmas in Heaven! Every single day, It's Christmas day. Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!

The background: him masturbating. Consequently, he broke the "sinner"s arm. Someone (No names, children!) walked in on his roommate and caught Whoever said that masturbation is sinful, anyway? The answer: "Every Sperm Is Sacred", Lyrics by Michael Palin and Terry Jones. The question: There are Jews in the world, there are Buddists, There are Hindus and Mormons and then There are those that follow Mohammad, but I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics is They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six footer, You don't have to have a great brain, You don't have to have any clothes on, Every sperm is sacred, You're a Catholic the moment Dad came, because Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Every sperm is great, Every sperm is sacred, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Let the heathen spill theirs, On the dusty ground, God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. Every sperm is good, Every sperm is wanted, Every sperm is needed, In your neighborhood. Hindu, Taoist, Morman, Spill theirs just anywhere, Semen with more care. But God loves those who treat their Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, In your neighborhood. Every sperm is needed, Every sperm is useful, Every sperm is fine, Mine, and mine, and mine. God needs everybody's, Let the pagans spill theirs, O'er mountain, hill and plain. God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighborhood. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Whenever life get you down, Mrs. Brown, And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft, And things seem hard or tough. And you feel that you've had quite enu-hu-hu-huuuuff! Just - re-member that you're standing on a planet that's evolving It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned, and revolving at 900 miles an hour, the sun that is the source of all our power. of the Galaxy we call the Milky Way. are moving at a million miles a day, The Sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour, it's 100,000 light-years side-to-side, Our Galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars, It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light-years thick, we go round every 200 million years, but out by us it's just 3000 light-years wide. We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point, in this amazing and expanding universe. And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know, in all of the directions it can whizz, So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is. how amazingly unlikely is your birth, And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, because there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. It's swell to have a stiffy, Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis, From the tiniest little tadger, It's divine to own a dick, Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? To the world's biggest prick. So three cheers for you will or John Thomas, Hooray for you're one-eyed trouser snake, Your piece of pork, you're wife's best friend, Your percy or your cock, You can wrap it up in ribbions, But don't take it out in public, And you won't come back. or they will stick you in the dock, You can slip it in your sock,

Why are we here, what's life all about?
Is God really real, or is there some doubt?
Well tonight, we're going to sort it all out
For tonight it's the Meaning of Life.
What's the point of all this hoax?
Is it the chicken and the egg time,
Are we just yolks?
Or perhaps we're just one of God's little jokes.
Well ca c'est the Meaning of Life.
Is life just a game where we make up the rules,
While we're searching for something to say,
Or are we just simply spiralling coils,
Of self-replicating DNA?
In this life, what is our fate?
Is there Heaven and Hell? Do we reincarnate?
Is mankind evolving or is it too late?
Well tonight here's the Meaning of Life.
For millions this life is a sad vale of tears,
Sitting round with nothing to say,
While scientists say we're just spiralling coils,
Of self-replicating DNA.
So just why, why are we here?
And just what, what, what, what do we fear?
Well ce soir, for a change, it will all be made clear,
For this is the Meaning of Life
-c'est la sens de la vie,
This is the Meaning of Life.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. I sleep all night and I work all day.
: He's a lumberjack and he's okay, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, And have buttered scones for tea. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, He goes to the lavatory. And has buttered scones for tea. On Wednesdays he goes shopping
: He's a lumberjack and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I put on women's clothing, I like to press wild flowers. And hang around in bars. He likes to press wild flowers. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, He puts on women's clothing, And hangs around in bars.
: He's a lumberjack and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. Suspendies and a bra. I cut down trees, I wear high heels, Just like my dear pappa. I wish I'd been a girlie, Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels? Suspendies...and a bra? ...he's a lumberjack and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. ...he's a lumberjack and he's OKAAAAAAAAAAYYY. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

(Terrible harmonica playing)

All the prophets of doom
Can always find room
In a world full of worry and fear
Tips, cigarettes,
And chemistry sets
And Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
So I'm goin' back
To my little ol' shack
And drink me a bottle of wine
That was mis en bouteille
Before my birthday
And have me a fuckin' good time!

Rain on a tin roof sounds like a drum
We're marchin' for freedom today ... hey!
Turn on your headlights and sound your horn
If people get in the way

(Terrible harmonica playing)

Let me turn you on
To the Cromium Swan
On the the nose of a long limousine
Even hide for the day
It is somethin' to say
But what the hell does it mean?
I may be accused
Of bein' confused
But I'm average weight for my height
My phil-o-so-phy
Like color TV
Is all there in black and white

RAI -- Rain on a tin roof sounds like a drum
We're marchin' for freedom today ... hey!
Turn on your headlights and sound your horn(honk honk)
If people get in the way.

(Long harmonica note to end of song.)

SPOKEN: One, two... I'd like to sing you a new song, a new song that I've written... between here and the curtain... it's kind of a short blues... thank you.

I woke up this morning

SPOKEN: Right on.