Kari Bremnes

We should have begun again.
If we knew then what we know now.
Should have known what really counts
And what was unimportant, somehow.
Should have ventured cautiously,
Not quickly, so abrupt,
Closed our eyes, count to ten.
We should have begun again.

Being together so quiet and still.
Being who we are, so fulfilled.
Not talking, not laughing, not crying.
A riddle beside another riddle.

We should have begun again.
Should have learned each other's
Different ways of seeing.
Should have known that heart and soul
Will have their way above our own well-being.
We should have been more giving,
But the lessons pass too soon.
Turn to Buddha, turn to Zen.
We should have begun again.

Being together so quiet and still.
Being who we are, so fulfilled.
Not talking, not laughing, not crying.
A riddle beside another riddle.

We should have begun again.
Should have played a little more before life caught us.
Should have known about the pain
To enjoy the wealth of gifts that life had brought us.
To search for something to believe in.
What's a dead end, what's a door?
When to fight, when to make amends?
We should have begun again.

Being together so quiet and still.
Being who we are, so fulfilled.
Not talking, not laughing, not crying.
A riddle beside another riddle.

I would like to give you a song.
Not the one that goes you must never leave me baby
And I hate to see you go.
Not the one with a refrain
About your loving arms again,
So I'll celebrate your beauty.
But the words are hard to find.
They've been used a hundred times
And somehow don't belong.
Still I would like to give you a song.

I would like to give you a song.
Not the kind baby you must take me to the sea,
I know where the ocean lies.
I don't want to tell you that my heart belongs to Daddy,
It is you who are my prize.
Maybe I should sing of how your love thrills me here and now.
That you are, when you are there, the way you are.
But the cliches have their way.
Everything I try to say seems wrong.
Still I would like to give you a song.

They went to see Paris it was the 17th of May
And now as ever she was late
And now as ever she complained about the seating
And the salmon was the worst she ever ate
He was a little bit too easy
A little bit too happy she could see
He sees them sitting at a sidewalk restaurant
And it is spring and they are young and they are free
She said that if we hope to see it all within a week
We better make a plan and keep it steady
He said: I'm having a fantastic time already

They were going to a party just before the end of March
And now as ever she was late
And now as ever she's unhappy with her hair
And wonders how he got his shoes in such a state
He was a little bit too easy
A little bit too happy for her taste
He sees them opening a bottle of champagne
And they are joining in a lovers' sweet embrace
She said that if this evening was to turn out as they planned
He'd better play his part and play it steady
He said: I'm having a fantastic time already

He was about to leave her, it was February fifth
And now as ever she was late
And now as ever she would speak of their affair,
She says, she simply can't accept this as their fate
He was a little bit too easy
A little bit too happy, she would moan
He sees himself in an apartment down the road
Where he can dream his dreams in peace and be alone
She said to him I'll show you we can have good times again
But only if you play the straight and steady
He said: I'm having a fantastic time already

Living alone in a high little room
She can see to the street from her window
She likes it a lot but she just can't imagine it day after day
She's waiting to open the boxes of books and to put all the clothes where they should go
The walls may be bare, but she still can't decide if she's ready to stay
She wants to be open and ready for something to knock on her door
She's paying the rent but that doesn't keep her from hoping for more
You'd say she'd just come, but that's not the case
Can it really be years since she came to this place

Going to work on a slow-moving tram
Everyone needs to work for a living
She likes sitting here, she can plan, she can dream, and be taken away
Being a writer is what she might do if she lived in a world more forgiving
She works on a story, she works on a book or it could be a play
There's someone she knows who knows someone in publishing,
maybe she could
She'll call when she's finished the dialogue, maybe then, maybe he would
She says she will call, but at her own pace
Can it really be years since she came to this place

Waiting for signs and she knows there'll be signs
There'll be omens and so she is waiting
It may be tomorrow, it may be today, but it's happening soon
Out in the sunlight and under the streetlight and inside her room she is waiting
Watching the shift in the seasons, the wax and the wane of the moon
Watching the text on her mobile, he's asking her out for a drink
She wants to say yes but it's never that easy, she needs time to think
And summer is passed, and she still doesn't ring
Alone in her room, can it really be spring

I wouldn't use it often
Not even every day
I have full control
It is a little game
It's just a little play
I have full control

I never give my number
I never give my name
I have full control
You're never gonna find me
Too close to the flame
I have full control

So smile and don't be worried
See, I'm still the girl you knew
Even though I missed you in September
Of course I will take care, sure,
Yeah, that is what I'll do
I am still the girl that you remember
And I have full control

Trying to come down
I'm staring at my skin
Waking in the night
Feeling paperthin
I'm a little shaky now,
I could use some sleep
Just a little something now
Something dark and deep
And I have full control

So smile and don't be worried
See, I'm still the girl you knew
Even though I missed you in September
Of course I will take care, sure,
Yeah, that is what I'll do
I am still the girl that you remember
And I have full control

You do not see him often
Not even every day
You have full control
It is a little game
Just a little game you play
When you have full control

I see you, your are wearing that old parka
And me, that faded jacket that I always used to wear
I can't remember now who took the picture
Or when it was I don't recall, do you remember where?
We seem so very young I have to look again
Right now I don't remember that I ever was that young
You hold your head the way that only you can do
And this is long before I slipped away from you

I see your face half-in, half-out of shadow
You didn't like the sun, you said, I liked the things you said
The look between us says we have forever
Forever isn't anymore, just everyday instead
As I took down your book this picture came to light
The one by Stanislavskij, now, do you remember that?
I still talk as if you're hearing what I say
Though it's so long ago I let you slip away

I always trusted my protection
Such a long time to be sheltered, to be safe
I always trusted my protection
Always, always

I was a Sunday's child
Forever walking in the sunlight
Tender voices, loving hands, a coat against the cold
I had immunity from danger
A world so young, songs unsung and tales untold

I always trusted my protection
Such a long time to be sheltered, to be safe
I always trusted my protection
Always, always

I thought that you can always find protection. I grew up with my father and mother, with my sister and brother, good people, kind people. They gave me food, clothes, shelter, they kept me safe from the burning sun and the winter cold. They watched over me and made good choices for me, the best choices. I came to believe that I would always be protected in this way, that it was the natural state of things. When I went out into the world I presumed I carried their protection with me like a shield, like a membrane and it led me to seek out the good in everything. Oh, but the most shocking realisation I've ever had is that the grown-ups are left and there is no protection.

I always trusted my protection
Such a long time to be sheltered, to be safe
I always trusted my protection
Always, always

The only protector you have in this world is your own will. And so it will be as when the lion lies down with the lamb, they're supposed to rest peacefully side-by-side but the lamb won't get much rest. If your own will weakens, what have you left? Instincts, intuitions, feelings to make your choices with. You're unprotected. Your will is your coat in the storm and if it fits, you're lucky. You can easily end up with the wrong coat. There should be a fitting room to try it on before you agree to take it. How can I get a new one, my old will is so weakened, have you got a second hand one, preferably strong? Some have weak wills that forever fail them. Some have a strong will that's never tested, but so it goes.

I always trusted my protection
Such a long time to be sheltered, to be safe
I always trusted my protection
Always, always