"The Morning Star“
I am the blind who desires what is not seen. What kind of perspective does it mean to desire for what is unseen? There is so much in the eyes that you can’t focus on one thing or place. It’s not like you can read it because you see it so closely. The closer you try to get to read it, the darker the writing becomes which turns into dots that fade away. Is it real the things that I see? Is it true that what I see is what it is?
There shouldn’t be any light, in order to obtain inner enlightenment.
Even if I try so hard to see with my eyes, there are moments where I just can’t see it. That’s when I close my eyes. The darkness that takes over in the dark world makes me rest. Covering up with the black cloth as if I am going back to the beginning where there is no sign of existence. After that you hear something in your ears. And you can feel the touches.
As I slowly and calmly recognize and accept what I see or hear by then I wake up. I read and heard it over again but the things that were not fully absorbed in me reveals itself as floating or sunken residues. At this point, I know where to look and refine these things and how to deal with them.
When I realize the existence and gradually add my own thoughts on top of it, that’s when confusion takes the space. In this confusion, it is necessary to take care of me and allow me to close my eyes again to stand right up and to find true light. I do not want anything in or close while waiting for the true light. I want to wait for that moment like at dawn where the first light appears. I'd like to recognize and appreciate these fine flashes of light first. I don't want to miss it. I would even like to blindfold or cover my eyes to walk in that light, even if I may fall or bump into something. I don't want to see anything in vain.
Do I have the same faith as the blind man who called for Jesus the son of David in front of the sanctuary? Since there is nothing the blind man can see with his eyes, he had to learn through actually facing it, bumping into it, living in it to realize there are much more beyond our sights. Everything is illusion and nothing. Therefore, we need to accept the presence of Jesus Christ and accept Him as our personal savior. He who have abided in Jesus Christ achieved his lifelong desire and stood on the world.
If I can not wakeup in the dark dawn, does that mean I have lost hope?
Even the blind people who do not see ahead know and anticipates the future and looks forward to it. What am I preparing and expecting from the Lord?
I close my eyes and wait for the light.
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