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| 1. |
| 0:59 | 
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Time to lay down serious sound.
... - You expect me to play this, man? What? What? - That's heavy! What? What? - Sheeit, man... ... What? - Yes. I believe we're about to begin. What? What? What? What? |
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| 2. |
| 1:44 |
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...expect to get your wax, you know, you got your--
you got your stacks of wax, man, but you don't expect to get h... - Sorry, I don't understand. - We're nothin' but the nerds they say we are. ...we are. ...we are. ...we are. ...we are. Everything is put together. ...put together. |
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| 3. |
| 3:55 |
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...the left, up, right, up, right, down, right, up, right, down, right, down, left, head for the fruit... and finish off the dots.
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon. #### All right. All right, all right. In their case... C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, let's give 'em that speeding ticket! #### You- you sure you want to play bridge, or you got another one of those crazy sound effects records you want to show off? Well, well, we might play a little bridge. Oh, yes, uh, if you're driving tonight, do be careful. There might be a nasty break in the road... We advise you to keep your seatbelts fastened... #### #### #### #### #### |
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| 4. |
| 2:58 |
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- Well...
- That's certainly... You can't fool me, I know that's not a guitar... He was bombed, gassed! He says, "I gotta go home." You know there's very few people knows anything about whiskey?... |
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| 5. |
| 2:41 |
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####
(Keep on keepin' on!) ...and the path to your funky soul ####... Keep on keepin' on, get down Keep on keepin' on, get down, right on Keep on keepin' on, get down, can you dig it? Keep on keepin' on, get down, right on Keep on keepin' on, get down, can you dig it? Keep on keepin' on, get down, right on Keep on keepin' on, get down, can you dig it? Keep on keepin' on, get down, right on Keep on keepin' on, get down, can you dig it? |
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| 6. |
| 1:59 |
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His first date.
He wasn't quite sure what to do, and what to say. - ...see for yourself! That's her! - Where? - Sitting right in front of us! That's Sharon! - Oh... wow! The most important thing is the first thing you say! - Hello! - What do you want? - I feel I might lay an egg any moment! - I beg your pardon? - What's a beautiful woman like you doing in a bar like this? - Beat it, jerk! - Now don't sugar-coat it. Just what is it you're trying to say? - Oh, grow up! - You're falling in love with me! - You're falling in love with me! - No time for this nonsense! - Why do men always assume that a woman alone at a bar is just waiting to be picked up? How would you like to spank somebody? - I beg your pardon? - I do love, love, love you. - I know, but I do wish you weren't so... ugly. - Would you like to come over to my apartment and listen to some albums? - What is the matter with you?! |
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| 7. |
| 3:48 |
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Good morning, houseplants(?).
Yes, it's wake-up time. - Ayo, wake up! Time to get up and go to work... (All right!) #### Too much caffeine is not good for you, and I know it's SO easy, because I myself in the old days used to drink, uh, oh, I was up to sixty-three, sixty-four cups a day... Wakey wakey, eggs and bacey! Break it up! |
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| 8. |
| 1:35 |
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...and... ...and then...
...and then there are those soft, cuddly little creatures, the koala bears. They sleep by day, and make love by night - as we do, mostly. This is stupid!(?) |
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| 9. |
| 3:54 |
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What is this? They come out, they don't even have any instruments, they got two record players, they're going <imitated scratching noise>...
Tonight I'm going to a DJ party! You know, a disc jockey party. I feel quite honored, as they asked me to do a little of my material at the party! It will be a great opportunity for me. This is what I'm going to do for them! Ah, come on!... Boo! Booo! - What the hell? - You know something, Scratchy? ... You got a problem. #### Ah, come on! ...come on! Ah, come on! Let 'em have it! - Ah, my arm! And that, of course, is what he deserved for pretending to be a musician, when he was only a butcher. |
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| 10. |
| 4:16 |
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What-what-what-what did you use mud for, in those days?
- Uh, mud was the sound of a gladiator falling. When a lion knocked him down. You would just what... throw some mud? - Throw some mud, and it made the sound. And various weights of gladiators would be just various size muds. Then I'd also stick mud in people's heads, and then punch them. That was a good soft sound, it sounded like a bag of grits falling off of a car. |
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| 11. |
| 4:16 |
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...'s the one thing I do on the ... stress upon you, and that is: play with records. Get your favorite records, put 'em on the machine, and play with records.
...you feel good. ...Their fingers itched for their curious profession. They hungered to ply their wicked trade. - ...you know, it's hard to -- we didn't have anything to record with, so I had to remember 'em all. What were the main items that you used to make these sound effects? - We used a rock, a stick, I used to kick my foot in a river to make a sound of a... a flushing noise, and then I would, uh... uh, I would take, uh, skins, of course, and I would, uh, rap on bald guys' heads... Do you know what that was? - I think that is a... uh, an insane man pulling the hair out of a baboon's back. No, that was a blender. I know you didn't have blenders, either, back in those days. - No, no, we didn't, but we did drink. |
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| 12. |
| 1:56 |
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So I--
So I-- So-- So-- So-- So I even rr-rr-rr-rr-rr'ed #### |
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13. |
| 3:14 |
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...Thousands of people own their own camera equipment. Stamps are profitable, too, because they gradually increase in value.
What did I ever do to deserve this? - I like your style. - What?! - I like your style. - What are you, some sort of a nut? ...and WOW! - Hellooo! - Are you talkin' to me, fella? Are you beginning to feel the rhythm now? Do you feel the rhythm coursing through your veins, setting your blood on fire? - I'm sorry, do I know you? - ...um... Don't ask her if she likes to dance unless you know how to dance. When it's trying to get the attention of the opposite sex, it will slap its great forefins in the direction of the one it wants. - What ARE you doing? - Aw, come on now, who do you think you are, you-- - Fernando, fancy-fly extraordinaire! Don't talk about yourself, and your interests, all during the meal. How would you like to spank somebody? - I beg your pardon! Don't be afraid to use adjectives when you talk to women. - I still wake up at nights, dreaming... - I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't think you should be telling me these things. - Hey. Hey, you! - Are you talkin' to me, fella? - Yeah. I love you. My neighbor's favorite occupation is making models of boats. - Hey, would you shut up? - ...you know, I'm, uh... heh... it's awful nice to sit here with you, I... hah... that's an awful nice record, I'd--I just thought, you know, if, uh... yeah, it's right around the corner, I don't know, you know, if you wanted to... listen to a record... I, uh... you know, I just rattle around in a big apartment all by myself... heh... just me and the hi-fi... ha ha ha! - You poor little thing. My heart goes out to you. ...And so does this poker! - Augh! |
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| 14. |
| 0:48 |
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As I outlined to you in your office, we would be very happy to have the chance of handling your new twelve-inch long-playing records, and I would like to see you again, in your office, early next week.
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