| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 2:55 | 
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I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel 2
A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam was chasin' poor Sweet Sue He trapped her in the old sawmill and said with an evil laugh, "If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'll saw you all in half!" And then he grabbed her (and then) He tied her up (and then) He turned on the bandsaw (and then, and then!) [Chorus] And then along came Jones Tall thin Jones Slow-walkin' Jones Slow-talkin' Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack You should've seen what was goin' on by the time that I got back Down in the old abandoned mine, Sweet Sue was havin' fits That villain said, "Give me the deed to your ranch Or I'll blow you all to bits!" And then he grabbed her (and then) He tied her up (and then) He lit the fuse to the dynamite (and then, and then!) [Chorus] I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show But there was the same old shoot-'em-up and the same old rodeo Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack He said, "If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'm gonna throw you on the railroad tracks!" And then he grabbed her (and then) He tied her up (and then) He threw her on the railroad tracks (and then) A train started comin' (and then, and then!) [Chorus] |
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| 2. |
| 2:47 |
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One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤
Just sittin', diggin' all them scenes at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 A chick I'd never seen before Came walkin' on in through the door At least I'd never saw her down at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 And I started shakin' when she sat right now next to me Her chair was there right next to mine at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 A chill was running down my spine at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 I could smell her sweet perfume She smiled at me, my heart went boom Then everybody in the room at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 They said "Man be careful, that chick belongs to Smokey Joe" Then from behind the counter, I saw a man A chef hat on his head and a knife in his hand He grabbed me by the collar and began to shout "You'd better eat up all your beans boy and clear right on out" I know I'll never eat again at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 And so we'll never meet again at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 I'd rather eat my chili beans At Jack's or John's or Jim's or Jean's Than taking my chances eating down at Smokey Joe's Caf??짤 I risked my like with that Smokey Joe's a crazy fool |
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| 3. |
| 3:04 | 
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| 4. |
| 2:47 |
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| 5. |
| 3:14 |
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Down in Mexicali
There's a crazy little place that I know Where the drinks are hotter than the chili sauce And the boss is a cat named Joe He wears a red bandana, plays a blues pianna In a honky-tonk, down in Mexico He wears a purple sash, and a black moustache In a honky-tonk, down in Mexico Well, the first time that I saw him He was sittin' on a piano stool I said "Tell me dad, when does the fun begin?" He just winked his eye and said "Man, be cool." He wears a red bandana, plays a blues pianna In a honky-tonk, down in Mexico He wears a purple sash, and a black moustache In a honky-tonk, down in Mexico All of a sudden in walks this chick Joe starts playing on a Latin kick Around her waist she wore three fishnets She started dancin' with the castanets I didn't know just what to expect She threw her arms around my neck We started dancin' all around the floor And then she did a dance I never saw before. So if you're south of the border I mean down in Mexico And you wanna get straight, Man, don't hesitate Just look up a cat named Joe. He wears a red bandana, plays a blues pianna In a honky-tonk, down in Mexico He wears a purple sash, and a black moustache In a honky-tonk, down in Mexico Yeah, como est usted senorita Come with me to the border, south of the border, that is In Mexico, yeah in Mexico You can get your kicks in Mexico Come with me baby, come with me, come with me, crazy, yeah |
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