| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 0:48 | 
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| 2. |
| 3:44 | 
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Look at me,I'm gorgeous in my housecoat with my coffee cup
I bend down to get the paper,every neighbor tryin' to check me out Look at me,I'm lovely as I wave beside my minivan Look at how my diamonds seem to sparkle on the garbage can Chorus: God bless the American housewife How she does it all I'll never know God bless the American housewife She could use a miracle for sure God bless the American housewife Cleanin' up the world for you and me God bless the American housewife (Ah Ah Ah Ah AH) Look at how my children play Commando in the cul-de-sac Look at how my husband has survived another heart attack Look at all the other mothers envious of all my things Have to call the plummer Cause my daughter flushed my wedding ring (Repeat Chorus) Look at me, I'm beautiful and glamorous in rubber gloves Look how my tiara can be bent back to the shape it was I can do the laundrt and make dinner while I'm on the phone Look at me, I'm sexy as the devil when I mow the lawn Chorus 2x How she does it all I'll never know God bless the American housewife |
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| 3. |
| 0:4 |
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| 4. |
| 3:55 |
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Tell me about it...
Ooh! Men. Have you ever tried to figure them out? Huh, me too, but I ain't got no clue How 'bout you? Men are like shoes Made to confuse Yeah, there's so many of 'em I don't know which ones to choose (yeah, yeah, yeah) Ah, sing it to me If you agree There's the kind made for runnin' The sneakers and the low down heels The kind that will keep you on your toes And every girl knows how that feels (yeah, yeah, yeah) Ouch, ah, sing it with me You've got your kickers and your ropers Your everyday loafers, some that you can never find You've got your slippers and your zippers Your grabbers and your grippers Man, don't ya hate that kind? Some you wear in, some you wear out Some you wanna leave behind Sometimes you hate 'em And sometimes you love 'em I guess it all depends on which way you rub 'em But a girl can never have too many of 'em It's amazing what a little polish will do... Men are like shoes... Some make you feel ten feet tall Some make you feel so small Some you want to leave out in the hall Or make you feel like kicking the wall (yeah, yeah, yeah) Ah, sing it with me, girls Ooh! (yeah, yeah, yeah) Mmm.. You've got your kickers and your ropers Your everyday loafers, some that you can never find You've got your slippers and your zippers Your grabbers and your grippers Man, don't ya hate that kind? Some you wear in, some you wear out Some you wanna leave behind Sometimes you hate 'em And sometimes you love 'em I guess it all depends on which way you rub 'em But a girl can never have too many of 'em Some can polish up pretty good... Ah, men are like shoes.. It's amazing what a little polish will do Some clean up good, just like.new Some you can't afford, some are real cheap Some are good for bummin' around on the beach You've got your kickers and your ropers Your everyday loafers, yeah some that you can never find You've got your slippers and your zippers Your grabbers and your grippers And man, don't ya hate that kind? You've got your kickers and your ropers Your everyday loafers, some that you can never find You've got your slippers and your zippers Your grabbers and your grippers Man, don't ya hate that kind? Some you wear in, some you wear out Some you wanna leave behind Sometimes you hate 'em And sometimes you love 'em I guess it all depends on which way you rub 'em But a girl can never have too many of 'em I ain't got time for the flip-flop kind... Men are like shoes! |
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| 5. |
| 3:12 |
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| 6. |
| 0:14 |
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| 7. |
| 3:03 |
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What a drag, it is getting old
"Kids are different today", I hear every mother say Mother needs something today to calm her down And though she's not really ill, there's a little yellow pill She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day "Things are different today", I hear every mother say Cooking fresh food for, a husband's just a drag So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And two, help her on her way, get her through her busy day Doctor please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag, it is getting old "Men just aren't the same today", I hear every mother say They just don't appreciate that you get tired They're so hard to satisfy, you can tranquilize your mind So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And four, help you through the night, help to minimize your plight Doctor please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag, it is getting old "Life's just much too hard today", I hear every mother say The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day |
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| 8. |
| 3:47 |
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We'd like to know a little bit about your for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson Jesus loves you more than you will know, whoa, oh, oh God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson Heaven holds a place for those who pray Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes It's a little secret it's just the Robinson's affair Most of all you've got to hide it from the kids And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson Jesus loves you more than you will know, whoa, whoa, oh God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson Heaven holds a place for those who pray Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon Going to the candidate's debate Laugh about it, shout about it when you've got to choose Every way you look at it you lose Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, who, who, who What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson Jolting Joe's has left and gone away Hey, hey, hey And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson Jesus loves you more than you ever knew, woo, woo, woo God bless you, please Mrs. Robinson Heaven holds a place for those who pray Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey |
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| 9. |
| 3:26 |
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I want to tell you all the story bout the Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play She said mama I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA The note said Mrs Johnson you're a wearing your dresses way too high It's reported you've been drinking and a running round with men and goin' wild We don't believe you ought to be a bringing up your little girl this way It was signed by the secretary Harper Valley PTA Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon They were sure surprised when Mrs Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room She walked up to the blackboard and I recall the things she had to say She said I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA Now there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he asked me for a date And Mrs Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice whenever he's away And Mr Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town And shouldn't wodow Jones be told to keep Her window shades all pulled completely down Well Mr Harper couldn't make it cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin When you have the nerve to tell me that you think that as a mother I'm not fit Well this is just a little Payton Place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites No I wouldn't put you on because it really did it happened just this way The day my mama socket it to the Harper Valley PTA The day my mama socket it to the Harper Valley PTA |
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| 10. |
| 0:6 |
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| 11. |
| 4:08 |
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I'm sittin' on my porch
And watchin' the flowers bloom I walk through my front door Everything is perfect in every room But something's wrong 'round here I'm always fighting back the tears And even when you come home I still feel all alone I need you to find me I'm the one, you left behind I want you to see me 'Cause we're running out of time You made it look so pretty Such a beautiful family, such wonderful friends But how we're going so dirty I don't know what's real 'cause it all feels pretend But something's missing here I'm always drowning in my fears I've gotta take care of myself Before there's nothing left I need you to find me I'm the one, you left behind I want you to see me 'Cause we're running out of time I'm more than just a pretty face I'm more than just your wife I have my hopes and my dreams too This is our song, my love I need you I want you 'Cause we're running out of time I have my hopes and my dreams too, yeah This is our song, my love I need you to find me I'm the one, you left behind I want you to see me 'Cause we're running out of time I need you, find me I have no where left to hide I want you to see me 'Cause we're running out of time |
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| 12. |
| 4:02 |
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| 13. |
| 3:23 |
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They say, to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France,
And Jackie's seen in a discotheque, doin' a brand new dance. And the White House social season should be glittering and gay, But here in Topeka, the rain is a fallin'; The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a bawlin'; One of 'em a-toddlin' and one is a crawlin'; And one's on the way. I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact, And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act. And the TV's showin' Newlyweds, a real fun game to play; But here in Topeka, the screen door's a bangin'; The coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a hangin'; One wants a cookie and one wants a changin'; And one's on the way. Now, what was I doin'? Jimmy get away from there. Darn, there goes the phone. Hello? Honey? What? What? You're bringin' a few ole army buddies home? Are you callin' me from a bar? Get away from there! No,no,not you honey, I was talkin' to the baby. Wait. Hold on, there's the door bell. He-Hello? I swear! The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib. And Better Homes and Garden shows, the modern way to live. And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today: Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin'; The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin'; One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin'; And one's on the way. Oh yeah, Here in Topeka, the rain is a fallin'; The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a bawlin'; One of them a toddlin' and one is a crawlin'; And one's on the way. Oh, I hope it ain't twins.... |
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| 14. |
| 0:4 |
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| 15. |
| 2:41 |
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Passed me by driving with the top down
Got upset so I dropped some plastic cash You said I didn't a dress or diamonds Why pay less when it's more fun to see you crash ? Boom Boom, you're acting all surprised Boom Boom, don't you ever wonder why I take it, I break it, I make it, I fake it But when I walk into the room your heart still goes Boom Boom See life is better on the outside So lay me down on a bed and ?? I've been searching with the truth, no consequence 'Cause you do not got the proof to my defense Boom Boom, the jury must be hung Boom Boom, I should have held my tongue I take it, I break it, I make it, I fake it But when I walk into the room your heart still goes Boom Boom Boom Boom, so pull away your ride 'Cause you know I'm worth the ride |
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| 16. |
| 3:46 |
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| 17. |
| 0:7 |
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| 18. |
| 3:09 |
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Ooh, you got big muscles rippling
Underneath your shirt I'm so glad to meet you, baby Tell me, what do you do for work? Me? I'm just a housewife So sad and all alone Desperate for a strong man To help me fix my home I know I must look a sight In this--this flimsy little dress Won't you try your very best To save a damsel in distress? I've got tasty treats to tempt you Come and sit down on my couch I'm sure it won't take long To figure all my problems out My home, it needs attention It's such a big old mess Take out your trusty tool And save this damsel in distress Now, you need no invitation, baby Just walk in and shut the door Follow the red rose petals that I've left Scattered on the floor I'll be upstairs waiting With a wisp of honeydew Customize and tell a maid For a handed man like you You know, I'd be so grateful If you'd come relieve my stress Won't you heed my S.O.S. And save a damsel in distress? Oh, yeah! Oh! Yea-ay So sweet I got the need if you're willing to please Trust me I make it so good that you won't wanna leave I got tasty treats to tempt you Come and sit down on my couch I'm sure it won't take long To figure all my problems out My home, it needs attention It's such a big old mess Take out your trusty tool And save this damsel in distress Now what's a girl to do? I'm just a--a damsel in--in distress, yeah Oh-- little old me, baby What you want for dinner, baby?! Oh! Yeah! |
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| 19. |
| 3:54 |
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| 20. |
| 0:12 |
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| 21. |
| 0:40 |
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