| Disc 1 | ||||||
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1. |
| 4:00 | 
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They do it down on camber sands
They do it at Waikiki Lazing about the beach all day, At night the crickets creepy Squinting faces at the sky A Harold Robbins paperback Surfers drop their boards and dry And everybody wants a hat But behind the Chalet My holiday's complete And I feel like William Tell Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet Pulling mussels from a shell Shrinking in the sea so cold Topless ladies look away A he-man in a sudden shower Shelters from the rain You wish you had a motor boat To pose around the harbor bar And when the sun goes off to bed You hook it up behind the car Two fat ladies window shop Something for the mantelpiece In for bingo all the nines A panda for sweet little niece The coach drivers stand about Looking at a local map About the boy he's gone away Down to next door's caravan |
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2. |
| 2:57 |
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The case was pulled from under the bed
She made a call to a sympathetic friend And made arrangements The door was closed there was a note I couldn't be bothered maybe I'll choke No more engagements With where have you beens And faraway frowns Trying to be good By not being round And here in the bar The pianoman's found Another nail in my heart That stupid old bug That kills only love I want to be good Is that not enough So play me the song That makes it so tough Another nail for my heart Then play me the song That makes it so tough Another nail for my heart I had excuses those little boy lies Then she computed by watching my eyes And told me firmly She couldn't stand it I'm bad on the heart She dropped her makeup and I found the bar Now it concerns me I've had a bad time Now love has resigned I've been such a fool I've loved and goodbyed So here in the bar The pianoman's found Another nail for my heart And here in the bar The pianoman's found Another nail for my heart |
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| 3. |
| 3:21 |
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Tonight I take her from her parents
I came along to her rescue Without a word about arrangements She came along without a clue So I said my love I want to take you A place I have inside my head And so it seemed I had to love you With some cards and separate beds Her mother didn't like me She thought I was on drugs My mother didn't like her She'd never peel the spuds So we took off together And stayed at Mrs. Smith's Breakfast at half seven Where you can view the cliffs The moon was full and in our window I could see her turning in her bed I was loved but all in limbo There was time to pass but not to spend Soon I saw that this was silly Spending all my wages on this peach When we could sit so very pretty And get our heads down out on the beach Her father seemed to like me I helped him fix his car My father seemed to like her And I couldn't see the harm In going off together To see the pier and lights So we could be together In separate beds tonight |
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| 4. |
| 2:56 |
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Hitched a hiker
Up above the border She'd spent some time In Morocco and Gibraltar And stole my wallet With a picture of my misses With fond remembrance Of everything with kisses From the Isle of Dogs To the Egyptian sands Where the Arabs chew on dates And I haven't forgot what it's like to be With misadventure and her mates I miss the East End High up on the Khyber And I'm the target For a dozen rebel snipers It's not so bad though With some beers in the freezer And something fancy In the air conditioned sleeper In moving carpets Through the customs at Dover Thinking my journey Was going to be over Then they discovered A shipment of Moroccan And said excuse me sir There's something you've forgotten |
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| 5. |
| 4:18 |
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Funny words I cannot read
Trams and boats where Strauss is street Milky way and far out looks On your bike and Anne Frank books Down the disco it's clockworktime Where's the humour where am I This world's got smaller I'm shaking lots of hands Saying lots of things That no one understands You can shake my tree But you won't get me Where am I I think I'm go go, go go, go go Liquor store and rodeos P I X and rock and roll The freckled face the thin and fat The drive-in films and drive-in macs Strip and porno neon signs Where's the building where am I Buckingham Palace trains all late Funny little men all out in the rain Car front deals and after pubs Tenth year plays and seedy clubs Iffy people don't seem to mind Where's the action where am I |
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| 6. |
| 2:57 |
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Everybody's dancin'
To the Farfisa beat All the girls are crazy Actin' out the heat Tie, shirts and cuff links Well, that's pretty neat Flash, flash mirror ball Stereo, the disco Wow, wow, ain't she tall Moved off of my feet To the Farfisa beat Pullin' my side glances To the one across the way She wears a lot of makeup But they all do these days Pretty horny tee shirt Well, mighten you explain Flash, flash mirror ball Stereo, the disco Wow, wow, ain't she tall Moved off of my feet To the Farfisa beat Farfisa beat, Farfisa beat Beat for beat for beat for all Out there in the air Everybody's got the girl So is there any spare For five foot seven Of heavy duty wear Flash, flash mirror ball Stereo, the disco Wow, wow, ain't she tall Moved off of my feet To the Farfisa beat Moved off my feet to the Moved off my feet to the Moved off my feet to the Moved off my feet to the Farfisa beat To the Farfisa beat To the Farfisa beat To the Farfisa beat |
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| 7. |
| 2:12 |
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Up in the morning
Politely yawning There's frost on the roof of the car First cigarette puffs Gold links in my cuffs Egg on the shirt of my heart Fingerprints in the dust with my name Squint my eyes to see from my fame Spot the words that fall from my lines The deafness hides the light from the blind Stop starting journey The road returns me Back to the world in the evening The stage rehearsals Voice on the circles Blah blah my way to the ceiling I can't see the walls from the chairs Are there people sitting out there Feed me with a frown or a laugh Featureless the faces that ask Tonight I'm cracking I'm murder acting Footlight the visual of my lines I'll smoke and drink it I'll eat and think it Miserable the murder plot unwinds |
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| 8. |
| 3:12 |
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With her hair up in his fingers
The fish and chips smell lingers Under amber streetlamps She holds the law in her hands The moistness of the damp night Falls silent through the lamplight Although she's only fourteen She really knows her courting And up the railway sidings There's him and her They're lying Hand in hand they whisper You're my missus and I'm your mister The moon as white and virgin And she was on the turning Remember your first nibble When best friends were so little They really trooped the colors When walking with each other And all her mates would giggle As ladylike she'd wiggle All along the high street They'd splash out on an ice cream He'd sometimes really treat her But he'd done his mother's meter Well he went off to borstal He said that he was forced to Rob the flats of hi fi's 'cause she was ill And she would cry Each morning she got sicker Her mother sometimes hit her If she'd have known the story She would have been so sorry He received a letter and admitted it There was nothing else to do but get rid of it Lonely in his dormitory He'd sit and stare If this is for real And is it really fair Summer came so they went Down to the coast in his tent She cooked upon his primus And sampled local cider She told him in his rucksack I think i want that chance back To be perhaps the one who Will forever love you |
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| 9. |
| 4:12 |
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If i didn't love you I'd hate you
Watching you play in the bath A soap suds stickle back navy A scrubbing brush landing craft Your skin gets softer and warmer I pat you down with a towel Tonight it's love by the fire My mind goes out on the prowl If I if I if I if I if I If i didn't love you I'd hate you I'm playing your stereo gram Singles remind me of kisses Albums remind me of plans Tonight it's love by the fire The wind plays over the coals Passionate looks are my fancy But you turn the look into stone If i didn't love you Would you sit and glow by the fire If i didn't love you Would you make me feel so Maybe love me Oh if i didn't love you If i didn't love you I'd hate you Cocoa mugs sit side by side It's time to poke at the fire But it's not tonight Looks i find Taking a bite on a biscuit The record jumps on a scratch Tonight it's love by the fire The door of your love's on the latch If I, if I, if I Didn't, didn't, didn't Love you, love you, love you |
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| 10. |
| 2:26 |
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Across the ocean she's been waiting to hear
If love's a secret to all the things she fears Was it tiptoe around my pillow talk They'll come the only boy she had with any thought The heart pretends I'm not so far away She said tomorrow and I'm here today I miss her now and I say it's only true I feel like I'm on the wrong side of the moon (Wrong side of the moon) I'm forgettin' to remember to forget All the memories locked in my head I'll be home then you'll hear what I say It seems forever started only yesterday My heart keeps time which passes very slow When you're lonely without a place to go I've got the lonesome ocean blues I feel like I'm on the wrong side of the moon (Wrong side of the moon) Across the ocean there's a heart that beats for me Beat, beating, waiting patiently Pulls us together when we're apart Keeps the devil from playing with your heart But I'll pretend we're not so far away I'm home tomorrow or maybe it's today Across the ocean there's nothing else to do It feels like you're on the wrong side of the moon (Wrong side of the moon) Wrong side of the moon (Wrong side of the moon)Wrong side of the moon (Wrong side of the moon) (Wrong side of the moon) (Wrong side of the moon) (Wrong side of the moon) |
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| 11. |
| 3:46 |
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She's independent
She's a modern woman She needs no prompting On her should 'n' shouldn't It's always bosses Who wish that she wouldn't Files in the cabinet so neatly numerical Makes all the clients so neatly alphabetical Turn of twenty one She's looking at the map Looking at her watch Bags on the rack It seems like she's there at the top There for her service Comfy red Granada Up to the midlands With a taped Sinatra Plans all the hotels And the airplane charters Found under covers with some representative The deal is effected but still only tentative Shorthands a letter Heading on the paper Slimline her lunch break Will it ever make her Slender and modern So all the men will take her Back to the mirror in the empress hotel Where the businessman smiles and the object is sell |
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| 12. |
| 3:51 |
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(difford/tilbrook)
Warning: these lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. they represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see. Like trying to knock down pins with marbles in my hand She wouldn't take a hi from me the average man Funny what money can do to people But she had a light that had sparked up her evil Trying to chat up women who rate themselves so high Shouldn't be my subject but I felt like I should try Funny what drink can do for soldiers Well she must into men a little bit older Funny how it goes -- how money steals the show And all her diamonds twinkle as she dances and what's it got for me Hung over in my tree? I saw the sun shine bright in front of...... Trying to get her dancing was not an easy job She made out like houdini when I said do you bop Funny what rhythm does it kills me Like champagne women only seem to spill me Trying to get the picture, I settled down to a drink When up came cinderella, so what was I to think Funny how these shoes fit a dragon Well she's like the sharks that you get in manhattan Funny how it goes -- how money steals the show And all her diamonds twinkle as she dances and what's it got for me Hung over in my tree? I saw the sun shine bright in front of..... |
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| 13. |
| 2:46 |
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Pacing through the flickering light
A velvet patch upon his eye His pacing creaks the floorboards loose As he tailors his thoughts for the truth around truths But his butler keeps eyes through a hole in the door What the butler don't see ain't a lot that's for sure Francesca lays across the couch They fight with words from mouth to mouth And then with handfuls of her flesh See how the zipper broke off of her dress Strangling her neck with his hands in her gloves The port and the brandy mix cocktails of love The porch light, the torchlight The frosted morning lawn The cloak of daylight has finally been drawn On the tale of what the butler saw He kept his world all to himself And locked it tight inside his belt But she preferred his belt undone She bathed in his fortune but never his fun He cracked on a mixture of opera and drink The butler still fetches and carries for him The butler dragged down to the lake Francesca's body in a cape No private eye was gonna trace this The old man was shaking, his marbles were missed The shadows and footprints and flickering lights The butler's up late with a cold in his eye The porch light the torchlight the frosted morning lawn The cloak of daylight has finally been drawn On the tale of what the butler saw |
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| 14. |
| 2:54 |
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I got nosy and I read her letters
I read her diary it's the same story and nothing better, The words remind me of someone else's heart Has gone and left a mark. And the pop music plays On the local radio, There's people on the streets but no one that I know And like my heart is now I know not where they go. Same words different meaning Same heart different feeling, So much for him so much for her 'cause that's past, Now I know about that someone else's heart. She got nosy and read my letters too And my notebook surprised to find that Love is not so new, So we both took Someone else's heart And walked it through the dark. A feeling so rich I turned around to laugh, We had both indulged in each other's past To find out that our love Was true enough to last. |
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| 15. |
| 4:14 | 
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| 16. |
| 2:45 |
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| 17. |
| 3:55 |
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| 18. |
| 2:56 |
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Everybody's dancing
To the Farfisa beat All the girls are crazy Acting out the heat Tie and shirts and cufflinks Well that's pretty neat Flash flash mirror ball Stereo and disco Wow wow ain't she tall Moved off my feet To the Farfisa Beat Pulling my side glances To the one across the way She wears alot of makeup But they all do these days Pretty horny tee shirt Well mighten you explain Beat for beat for beat for all Cut there in the yea Everybody's got the girl So is there any spare For five foot seven Of heavy duty wear |
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| 19. |
| 3:16 |
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| 20. |
| 3:40 |
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If I didn't love you I'd hate you
Watching you play in the bath A soap suds stickle back navy A scrubbing brush landing craft Your skin gets softer and warmer I pat you down with a towel Tonight it's love by the fire My mind goes out on the prowl If I If I If I If I If I If I didn't love you I'd hate you I'm playing your stereogram Singles remind me of kisses Albums remind me of plans Tonight it's love by the fire The wind plays over the coals Passionate looks are my fancy But you turn the look into stone If I didn't love you Would you sit and glow by the fire If I didn't love you Would you make me feel so Maybe love me Oh if I didn't love you If I didn't love you I'd hate you Cocoa mugs sit side by side It's time to poke at the fire But it's not tonight Looks I find Taking a bite on a biscuit The record jumps on a scratch Tonight it's love by the fire The door of your love's on the latch If I, if I, if I Didn't, didn't, didn't Love you, love you, love you |
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| Disc 2 | ||||||
| 1. |
| 1:05 |
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| 2. |
| 3:54 |
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| 3. |
| 2:07 |
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| 4. |
| 2:40 |
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Slightly drunk once again
All alone with my pen I thought I'd write to you How can I say how I feel ? Falling down on a deal This last night with you Is it the cold that makes me shake? I just hope that I'm awake I say alright I knew (I knew) I was wrong you were right (That's a line I cannot find) I could not say goodbye (to explain just why I lied) Why's it always feel the same? (slightly drunk what you said to me) I'm in love once again (can't fall in love without misery) I'm pretty sad but so what? I should be glad but I'm not I'm confused once more All tangled up in your love Without it now so that's tough My heart cries for A little talk to anger me Out on the road especially Back to you once more (once more) I was wrong you were right (That's a line I cannot find) I could not say goodbye (to explain just why I lied) Why's it always feel the same? (slightly drunk what you said to me) I'm in love once again (can't fall in love without misery) Slightly drunk once again All alone without friends Had it all, I know I lied All my ends seem untied I cannot say how I feel |
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| 5. |
| 3:45 |
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They do it down on Camber Sands, they do it at Waikiki
Lazing about the beach all day, at night the crickets creepy Squinting faces at the sky, a Harold Robbins paperback Surfers drop their boards and dry, and everybody wants a hack But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete And I feel like William Tell Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet Pulling mussels from a shell Pulling mussels from a shell Shrinking in the sea so cold, topless ladies look away A he-man in a sudden shower shelters from the rain You wish you had a motorboat to pose around the harbor bar And when the sun goes off to bed, you hook it up behind the car But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete And I feel like William Tell Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet Pulling mussels from a shell Pulling mussels from a shell Two fat ladies window shop, something for the mantelpiece In for bingo, all the nines, a panda for sweet little niece Coach drivers stand about, looking at a local map About the boy, he's gone away, down to next door's caravan But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete And I feel like William Tell Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet Pulling mussels from a shell Pulling mussels from a shell But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete And I feel like William Tell Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet Pulling mussels from a shell Pulling mussels from a shell |
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| 6. |
| 3:18 |
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Like trying to knock down pins with marbles in my hand
She wouldn't take a hi from me the average man Funny what money can do to people But she had a light that had sparked up her evil Trying to chat up women who rate themselves so high Shouldn't be my subject but I felt like I should try Funny what drink can do for soldiers Well she must into men a little bit older Funny how it goes -- how money steals the show And all her diamonds twinkle as she dances and what's it got for me Hung over in my tree? I saw the sun shine bright in front of...... Trying to get her dancing was not an easy job She made out like Houdini when I said do you bop Funny what rhythm does it kills me Like champagne women only seem to spill me Trying to get the picture, I settled down to a drink When up came Cinderella, so what was I to think Funny how these shoes fit a dragon Well she's like the sharks that you get in Manhattan Funny how it goes -- how money steals the show And all her diamonds twinkle as she dances and what's it got for me Hung over in my tree? I saw the sun shine bright in front of..... |
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| 7. |
| 2:56 |
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The case was pulled from under the bed
She made a call to a sympathetic friend And made arrangements The door was closed there was a note I couldn't be bothered maybe I'll choke No more engagements With where have you beens And faraway frowns Trying to be good By not being round And here in the bar The pianoman's found Another nail in my heart That stupid old bug That kills only love I want to be good Is that not enough So play me the song That makes it so tough Another nail for my heart Then play me the song That makes it so tough Another nail for my heart I had excuses those little boy lies Then she computed by watching my eyes And told me firmly She couldn't stand it I'm bad on the heart She dropped her makeup and I found the bar Now it concerns me I've had a bad time Now love has resigned I've been such a fool I've loved and goodbyed So here in the bar The pianoman's found Another nail for my heart And here in the bar The pianoman's found Another nail for my heart |
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| 8. |
| 3:46 |
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The Indians send signals from the rocks above the pass
The cowboys take position in the bushes and the grass The squaw is with the corporal, she is tied against the tree She doesn't mind the language, it's the beating she don't need She lets loose all the horses when the corporal is asleep And he wakes to find the fires dead and arrows in his hats And Davy Crockett rides around and says it's cool for cats It's cool for cats (Cool for cats) The Sweeny's doing 90 'cause they've got the word to go To get a gang of villains in a shed up at Heathrow They're counting out the fivers when the handcuffs lock again In and out of Wandsworth with the numbers on their names It's funny how their Missus always looks the bleeding same And meanwhile at the station, there's a couple of likely lads Who swear like how's your father and they're very cool for cats They're cool for cats (Cool for cats) To change the mood a little, I've been posing down the pub I'm seeing my reflection, I'm looking slightly rough I fancy this, I fancy that, I wanna be so flash I give a little muscle, and I spend a little cash But all I get is bitter and a nasty little rash And by the time I'm sober, I've forgotten what I've had And everybody tells me that it's cool to be a cat Cool for cats (Cool for cats) Shape up at the disco when I think I've got a pull I ask her lots of questions as she hangs onto the wall I kiss her for the first time, and then I take her home I'm invited in for coffee, and I give the dog a bone She likes to go to discos, but she's never on her own I said, "I'll see you later," and I give her some old chat But it's not like that on the TV when it's cool for cats It's cool for cats (Cool for cats) Ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh Cool for cats Ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh |
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| 9. |
| 2:38 |
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| 10. |
| 4:56 |
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Funny words I cannot read
Trams and boats where Strauss is street Milky way and far out looks On your bike and Anne Frank books Down the disco it's clockwork time Where's the humour where am I This world's got smaller I'm shaking lots of hands Saying lots of things That no one understands You can shake my tree But you won't get me Where am I I think I'm go go, go go, go go Liquor stores and rodeos P I X and rock and roll The freckled faced, the thin and fat The drive-in film, the drive-in bank Strip and porno neon signs Where's the buildings, where am I? This world's got smaller I'm shaking lots of hands Saying lots of things That no one understands You can shake my tree But you won't get me Where am I I think I'm go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go Buckingham Palace trains all late Funny little men all out in the rain Car front deals and afters pubs Tenth year plays and seedy clubs And iffy people don't seem to mind Where's the action where am I Oh this world's got smaller I'm shaking lots of hands Saying lots of things That no one understands You can shake my tree But you won't get me Where am I I think I'm go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go |
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| 11. |
| 3:54 |
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If I didn't love you I'd hate you
Watching you play in the bath A soap suds stickle back navy A scrubbing brush landing craft Your skin gets softer and warmer I pat you down with a towel Tonight it's love by the fire My mind goes out on the prowl If I If I If I If I If I If I didn't love you I'd hate you I'm playing your stereogram Singles remind me of kisses Albums remind me of plans Tonight it's love by the fire The wind plays over the coals Passionate looks are my fancy But you turn the look into stone If I didn't love you Would you sit and glow by the fire If I didn't love you Would you make me feel so Maybe love me Oh if I didn't love you If I didn't love you I'd hate you Cocoa mugs sit side by side It's time to poke at the fire But it's not tonight Looks I find Taking a bite on a biscuit The record jumps on a scratch Tonight it's love by the fire The door of your love's on the latch If I, if I, if I Didn't, didn't, didn't Love you, love you, love you |
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| 12. |
| 4:07 |
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You get your trunks
Out of the drawer You see yourself As once before Strong in reason Strong in reason The empty box Lies on the chair Another steroid Grease your hair and you're Strong in reason Strong in reason The sun-ray lamp Is put away There is no need To be afraid Strong in reason Strong in reason So fix yourself Into a shape Your audience Is half awake and you're Strong in reason Strong in reason The time has come To flex your back Another day For you, meat-rack Strong in reason Strong in maker Strong in arm Strong with almost perfect charm Strong intention Strong in strength Strong in almost every sense Strong in reason Strong in reason Strong in reason Strong in reason And on the stage The lights are green It's one step forward Now you've been seen Strong in reason Strong in reason The right arm up The left arm down Open mouth The vacant crowd Strong in reason Strong in reason The chest of wax Flips like a coin Into the rhythm Into the join Strong in reason Strong in reason The ladies in The comfortable seats They look at you with Eyes so deep 'cause they're Strong in reason Strong in reason Well take a bow Because you'll get the sack I'm pleased to slag you off Meat-rack Strong in reason Strong in reason Strong in maker Strong in arm Strong with almost perfect charm Strong intention Strong in strength Strong in almost every sense Strong in reason Strong in reason Strong in reason Strong in reason |
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| 13. |
| 3:03 |
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Well you'd better not tell I've had a good night
Me and this bird she's a bit of alright Dancing to the sounds as the arches get searched She is the business for a bit of old skirt It's so dirty when it's in the right mood Give it some brandy and some chinese food Take her for a spin with your stereo jack Tell her she's the best girl you've ever had Give it some gold to put round its neck Bet here old man puts you on the deck But its so dirty with me - it so dirty with me Its so dirty with me - its so dirty with me Well you'd better watch out here comes a tornado You'll end up looking like a mashed potato If her old man gets word of what's going on here You'll end up at the bottom of someone's next beer Well I've got a bud ain't frightened by shooters So lets have a drink for a couple of troopers No her old man won't know I've been giving it some Unless you tell him the news but we know that ain't done |
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| 14. |
| 4:14 |
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I met her in a bar room
Her name I didn't catch She looked like something special The kind who'd understand The room was almost spinning She pulled another smile She had the grace like pleasure She had a certain style Sunlight on the lino Woke me with a shake I looked around to find her but she'd gone Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl She took me to her hotel The room on the second floor A kettle and two coffees Her number on the door She said I hardly know you Agreed we kissed goodnight I knew that in the morning Somehow I'd wake to find Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl I lost my silver razor My clubroom locker keys The money in the waistcoat It doesn't bother me My wife has moved to Guernsey So mug is not the word If you ever see her Say hello Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl Goodbye Girl |
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| 15. |
| 3:03 |
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I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from Clapham Out on a windy common That night I ain’t forgotten When she dealt out the rations With some or other passions I said you are a lady Perhaps she said I may be We moved into a basement With thoughts of our engagement We stayed in by the telly Although the room was smelly We spent our time just kissing The Railway Arms we’re missing But love had got us hooked up And all our time it took up I got a job with Stanley He said I’d come in handy And started me on Monday So I had a bath on Sunday I worked eleven hours And bought the girl some flowers She said she’d seen a doctor And nothing now could stop her I worked all through the winter The weather brass and bitter I put away a tenner Each week to make her better And when the time was ready We had to sell the telly Late evenings by the fire With little kicks inside her This morning at 4:50 I took her rather nifty Down to an incubator Where thirty minutes later She gave birth to a daughter Within a year a walker She looked just like her mother If there could be another And now she’s two years older Her mother’s with a soldier She left me when my drinking Became a proper stinging The devil came and took me From bar to street to bookie No more nights by the telly No more nights nappies smelling Alone here in the kitchen I feel there’s something missing I’d beg for some forgiveness But begging’s not my business And she won’t write a letter Although I always tell her And so it’s my assumption I’m really up the junction |
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| 16. |
| 4:59 |
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