| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
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Birds eat worms
Pigs eat turd If I ever say a discouraging word Slash my face with a rusty rake It will be something that I deserve It's not like I live on the street It's not like I live in a war zone It's not like I can't afford to eat It's not like I don't have a home Birds eat worms Pigs eat turd If ever I say a discouraging word Slap my face with a salmon steak Got no real reason to bitch & complain Slash my face with a rusty rake |
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| 2. |
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She is old, yes very old
As she contemplates her nap She knows damn well that if she sleeps It just might be the last So she lay with her eyes affixed And slowly drifts away Her life's been rough and sure enough She is never to awake Gone, she has gone away Gone to a better place For one last time she dreams the dream Of being very young Back to when her days were full of beauty And her nights were full of love As her beauty did fade She got pushed and shoved Into a corner Like the Ugly Duck that no one wants And nobody wants you |
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| 3. |
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Ashtray balanced on my chest
Sucking on a cigarette If I don't burn in hell I just might burn in bed Staring into a glowing red ember On a chilly morning in September I look out my front window And realize that the walk needs shoveling Oh my head aches Whenever I'm listening to you Oh my head aches Whenever I'm thinking of you Underneath the snowbank I found myself a big thumb Found myself a rusty dime I put that big thumb in my pocket The damn thing stayed there until it rotted Now I keep it in a pickle jar I wonder who it once belonged to? |
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| 4. |
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It happened so fast?He didn't have time to think?Or maybe he had too much?a bit too much to drink?When he went riding off?into the bright sunshine?It turned out to be?the lights of a car?Can somebody help me please?Scrape this man up off the road?Can somebody help me please?I cannot do it on my own?As the police?were scarping him off the fender?A friend of his said?that he had been on a bender?and that he had a huge fight?Yeah, he had a fight with his wife?Then he got pissed off?Then rode off on his bike?He was drunk?He was drunk on a bike
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| 5. |
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It was high noon, the sun was shinning
Manuel sharpened his blade He stuck it in the ground It came out twice as long Chopped of the end of his leg Madness sprouted in that garden Manuel felt strange Then his mind shifted as the vines twisted He became quite crazed The barbed wire fence post, It felt quite wooden As he impaled himself on the steel As the blood ran down, he felt so horrible Reached for the tequila worm and beer Razor swallowing in that garden He winced with pain Like a curse lifted he begged for Forgiveness But it was too late Oh Manuel has messed up again... |
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| 6. |
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Won't you come to my place
And see my collection of mold It hangs off the ceiling Covers half the floor No mold's too old In the fridge, you can feast your eyes Upon many a fuzzy fiend I guess I'm best left alone Just my collection & me No mold's too old I scrape my armpits Each and every day Adding nicely to the blue decay |
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| 7. |
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Stop the senseless killing
Jesus is my chauffeur Honk if your homo God drives a Ford! Do you ever read them? Bumper stickers Do you really need them? Bumper stickers If you don't like my driving Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT He who has the most toys When he dies wins! Have you ever bought one? Did you really need it? Coaster collecting is very fascinating |
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| 8. |
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Eric got a speeding ticket?
Eric stepped in human shit ?He's had a bad day now ?Eric drank a pint of salsa ?Then went into convulsions? He's had a bad day now ?Eric bought a new amp ?Then got kicked out of his band ?He's had a bad day now ?Eric busted his jaw?at the local skatepark? He's had a bad day now ?What's a poor boy to do?? Flex your head, Eric? Nice blue dreads, Eric? Nice blue dreads |
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| 9. |
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Larry Flynt is the king of skin
Sitting in his wheelchair Collecting belly lint Someone tried to shoot him But the bullet didn't take Now he has to park his car In the handicap space He's spreading it rather thinly Spreading it rather thin Ole Jerry Falwell Will be glad to see him go Buried with the spuds In Boise, Idaho Larry Flynt & Pee Wee Herman Side by side In that giant porno theater In the sky |
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| 10. |
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He has two heads and he has three legs
He has no tail what a crying shame There is nothing for him to wag To let us know that he's happy Is he rabid? no. Is he rabid? no. Hey, I ought to know Is he playful? yes. Is he playful? yes. Or would you rather guess? Eats pitbulls for breakfast Eats pitbulls for breakfast And swallows them whole Mutated dog is my best friend He ate the teacher and the teacher's pet While running loose in the backyard He feeds on little kiddies arms He's my mutated dog He's really mean no harm |
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| 11. |
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I find it hard to talk
With a black ball in my mouth Impossible to fart With carrots up my ass My neighbors think I'm weird I do agree Whatever turns your crank Are you into bizarre novelties? I find it hard to walk With my thumbs screwed into the floor I travel to strange places When left alone I explore My neighbors think I'm sick I do agree Do not try this at home Unless your into bizarre novelties |
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| 12. |
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I wonder what Mon and Dad would say
I wouldn't want to bring them shame I know one day I'll have to tell them Oh yes I'll tell them about 'it' My lovely little Frankenstein A love like ours is hard to find My lovely little Frankenstein A love like ours is blind It lives up on the darkened hill Big city life would bring it death A close personal friend of mine My lovely little Frankenstein It listens as I quietly talk While hand in hand on our nightly walk I get lost in it's eyes as it stares into mine My lovely little Frankenstein |
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| 13. |
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Give me your shoes and them I'll lick
Give me your feet and them I'll kiss Because I would never want to hurt you And if I did, you know just what I'd do I'd throw myself off of a bridge Toss myself off the highest cliff Hang myself from the rafters above Because I could not live without your love When you drop your dress, I drop to my knees You know me, so eager to please Because I would never want you to hate me And if you did, you know just what I'd do... But wait I just had a change of heart I no longer need you to cater to my wants You need care to make it work both ways You are now free to go your own way... |
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