Disc 1 | ||||||
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Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals)
Mark Volman (vocals) Howard Kaylan (vocals) Jeff Simmons (bass) George Duke (keyboards) Ian Underwood (keyboards, alto saxophone) Aynsley Dunbar (drums) "I (you just fill in the blank) , do hereby solemnly swear, in accordance with the regulations of the contract with this here rock and roll engagement. And The Imbecilic Laws of the State of Florida, and the respective regulations perpetrated by Red-Necks Everywhere! Do Hereby Solemnly Swear!, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, TO REVEAL MY TUBE, WAD, DINGUS, WEE-WEE, AND OR PENIS ANYPLACE ON THIS STAGE!! THIS does NOT include Private Showings in the motel room, however." |
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FZ:
In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter God made three big mistakes. The first mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was called WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of THE POODLE. Now the reason the poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small piquant canine type BODY. That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to kiss you? Oh okay.) Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle, didn't think anything of it. You know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the olden days. But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been much smarter than the MAN. Guy In The Audience: You're the best! FZ: That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interrupting my story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or what? Oh no no, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. Now listen: The WO-MAN has always been much smarter than the MAN, you know this is true. And so it was since the beginning of time. The MAN would do anything to get some pussy. And that's why the WO-MAN always had control over him. In the beginning the WO-MAN looked the MAN directly into the eye and said: "I tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things around the house. Mainly what I need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers." (Thank you very much.) And of course the MAN did his duty as they say in the trade. He went out and he got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed that broom around for about a dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of Eden and gave that money to the WO-MAN. The WO-MAN ran out the back door of the garden of Eden, went directly to the hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted tweezers and came back and, while the MAN was very tired from having his job, while he was sleeping, the WO-MAN got a hold of the POODLE. Because the WO-MAN had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays. And so the WO-MAN sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. Let me get a little uh, visual aid . . . Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. You see, she took a little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies. Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call Burbank. Then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his mouth set up like that. And squatted right ON HIM. Looking down into the dog's eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the dog? She said: |
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Give me
Your dirty love Like you might surrender To some dragon in your dreams Give me Your dirty love Like a pink donation To the dragon in your dreams I don't need your sweet devotion An' I don't want your cheap emotion Whip me up some dragon lotion For your dirty love Your dirty love Give me Your dirty love Like some tacky little pamphlet In your daddy's bottom drawer Give me Your dirty love I don't believe you never seen His book before I don't need no consolation I don't want your reservation I only got one destination An' that's your dirty love Your dirty love Give me Your dirty love Just like your mama Make her fuzzy poodle do (Oh, Frenchie . . . ) Give me Your dirty love The way your mama Make that nasty poodle chew I'll ignore your cheap aroma And your little-bo-peep diploma I'll just put you in a coma With some dirty love Some dirty love That dirty love That dirty love THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!) THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!) THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!) THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Not a speck of cereal!) THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Nothing but the best for my dog!) THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Come on!) THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Little paws sticking up!) THE POODLE BITES! (Little curly hairs!) THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Little curly hairs!) |
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Ooh the way you love me lady
I get so hard now I could die Ooh the way you love me sugar, I get so hard now I could die Open up your pocketbook Get another quarter out Drop it in the meter momma Try me on for size Open up your pocketbook Get another quarter out Drop it in the meter momma Try me on for size Ooh the way you squeeze me baby, Red balloons just pop behind my eyes Ooh the way you squeeze me girl, Red balloons just pop behind my eyes Open up your pocketbook Get another quarter out Drop it in the meter momma Try me on for size Open up your pocketbook Get another quarter out Drop it in the meter momma Try me on for size Mark: Do you really wanna please me? Howard: Well, you know I do, babe Mark: Well, tell me why you do it I really wanna know Howard: Oh, no, no, it wouldn't be right For me to tell you tonight Mark: You better tell me right away Or I'll pack up and go! Howard: Don't get mad It ain't no big thing Mark: You better tell me right away, Don't you treat me cold Howard: HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT! Well, there are a lot of reasons why I'd . . . I'd drag a girl such as yourself back to this . . . plastic hotel room and . . . rip you off for spare change to run a . . . to run a vibrating machine attached to this queen-size, bulk-purchase, kapok-infested, do-not-remove-tag-under-penalty-of-law type bed and . . . and make you take off all your little clothes . . . until you were nearly STARK RAVING NUDE! (Save for your chrome-with-heavy-duty-leather-thong Peace Medallion, heh . . . ) And make you assume a series of marginally erotic poses involving . . . a plastic chair and . . . an old guitar strap while I . . . did a wee-wee in your hair and . . . beat you with a pair of tennis shoes . . . I got from Jeff Beck |
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FZ: Well it's contest time ladies and gentlemen. Direct from Madison,
Wisconsin, it's the Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival, just as promised. Vinnie: Cough! FZ: Heavy duty? Maroon nylon heavy duty. Okay . . . Light blue cotton with tiny skid . . . . That's getting him very excited because it appears that the bottom parts of those pants are welded together. Okay let's try this, alice blue nylon . . . Vinnie: These smell like the same ones I had last night. FZ: For those of you who didn't hear he says those smell like the same ones he had last night. Did you like them? You don't like those? Vinnie: Maybe they are, maybe she's following us around. FZ: Black Nylon! Vinnie: Ooooohhhh please! FZ: Black Nylon, re . . . e-hem, registring a 19 on the Richter scale. Vinnie: Oh, God . . . gotta keep on . . . hah hah, it's fuckin' disgusting! FZ: These are very light blue and apparently have come in contact with some corrosive material that has eaten the bottom out of it. Vinnie: China syndrome. FZ: What? Vinnie: China Syndrome! FZ: Yeah, ha ha ha ha ha! Awright, rustic hokey pokey, model number thirteen. Vinnie: Oorhh, nehh. (hack, hack) FZ: Blue with the little embroidered things on the front. Vinnie: This smells like armpits. Ugh . . . FZ: Okay who wins? Those belong to Chuck Eldridge. Ike: Hi. FZ: Sorry. |
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I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night just before I go to bed She never talk back like a lady might do An' she looks like she loves it every time I get through And her name is P-I-N-K-Y P-I-N, no lie K-Y, me-oh-my She's $69.95 Give her a try P-I-N-K-Y P-I-N I cry K-Y don't be shy $69.95, boy Give her a try Her eyes is all shut in an ecstasy face You can cram it down her throat, people, any old place Throw the little switch on her battery pack You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back And her name is P-I-N-K-Y P-I-N, I cry K-Y, don't be shy $69.95, boy Give her a try I got a girl with a little rubber head Rinse her out every night just before I go to bed She never talk back like a lady might do An' she looks like she loves it every time I get through Her eyes is all shut in an ecstasy face You can cram it down her throat, people, any old place Throw the little switch on her battery pack You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back |
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Mark Volman (vocals)
Howard Kaylan (vocals) Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds) Aynsley Dunbar (drums) George Duke (keyboards, trombone) Martin Lickert (bass) Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set) Jim Pons (vocals) Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan: She chooses all the clothes she'll wear tonight to dance in. (She dances, she prances, she dances, she prances) The places that she goes are filled with guys from groups, yeah-yeah-yeah Waiting for a chance to break her pants in. Provocative squats! Gum me on m'lunga Provocative squats! Gum me on m'lunga Provocative squats! Gum me on m'lunga Provocative squats! Gum me on m'lunga Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah Wah wah wah wah wah wah Well at least there's sort of a choice there. (Twenty or thirty at times there have been ) Somewhat desirable boys there. Dressed really spiffy with long hair. Waiting for girls they can shove it right in. Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah Wah wah wah wah wah wah Well at least there's sort of a choice there. (Twenty or thirty at times there have been ) Somewhat desirable boys there. Dressed really spiffy with long hair. Waiting for girls they can shove it right in. |
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I Have Been In You - From the CD "Sheik Yerbouti"
I have been in you, baby And you have been in me And we have be so intimately entwined And it sure was fine I have been in you, baby And you have been in me And so you see we have be so together I thought that we would never Return from Forever (Return from Forever) (Return from Forever) You have been in me And understandably I have been in 'n' outta you (in 'n' outta you, in 'n' outta you) And everywhere, you want me to (in 'n' outta yoooou) Yes you know it's true; And while (I was inside) I might have been (undignified) And that is maybe (why you cried) I don't know, Maybe so But what's the difference now? I have been in you baby You have been in me Aw' little girl there ain't no time To wash your stinky hand Go head 'n' roll over I'm goin' in you again in you again in you again in you again... I'm going in you again-ahhh In you again, ah! In you again-aah! In you again, ah! In you again-aah! In you again, ah! Now I'm goin' in you again baby 'N' you can go in me too, that's true I'm goin' in you again, baby 'N' later when we get through I'm going in you again-ahh! In you again, ah! In you again-aah! In you again, ah! In you again-aah! In you again, ah! |
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I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She stroll on over, say look here, bum, I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum (Y'jes can't do it) She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb She could prove it any time all men was scum I don't mind that she called me a bum, But I knew right away she was really gonna cum (So I got down to it) I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation on her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm, Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Where's this Dinah-Moe Comin' from I done spent three hours An' I ain't got a crumb From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe From the Dinah-Moe Humm Got a spot that gets me hot, ow! An' you ain't been to it (No no no no!) Got a spot that gets me hot, ow! An' you ain't been to it (No no no!) Got a spot that gets me hot But you ain't been to it (No no no no no!) Got a spot that gets me hot But you ain't been to it 'Cause I can't get into it Unless I get out of it An' I gotta get out of it Before I get into it 'Cause I never get into it Unless I get out of it An' I gotta be out of it To get myself into it (She looked over at me with a glazed eye And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area And she said . . . ) Just get me wasted An' you're half-way there 'Cause if my mind's tore up, Then my body don't care I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin An' said my-my-my What sort of thing Might this lady get high upon? I checked out her sister Who was holdin' the bet An' wondered what kind of trip The young lady was on The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet But she could use a little if I wasn't done yet I told her . . . Just because the sun Want a place in the sky No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try So I pulled on her hair Got her legs in the air An' asked if she had any cooties on there (Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!) She was buns-up kneelin' BUNS UP! I was wheelin' an dealin' WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH! She surrender to the feelin' SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED An' she started in to squealin' Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red Some drool rollin' down From the edge of her chin While she spied the condition Her sister was in She quivered 'n quaked An' clutched at herself While her sister made a joke About her mental health 'Till Dinah-Moe finally Did give in But I told her All she really needed Was some discipline . . . Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . . M-M-M . . . it's real angora Would y'all like some more-a? Right here on the flora? An' how 'bout you, Fauna? Y'wanna? MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin' Did you say you want some more? Well, here's some more . . . (Oh, baby . . . ) Oh, sure . . . look, D'you think I could interest you In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers? MMM . . . tweezers! Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . . Gimme your lighter . . . I couldn't say where she's coming' from But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She stroll on over, say look here, bum, I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum (Y'jes can't do it) I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation on her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm Some Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Dinah-Moe Some Dinah-Moe An' a little Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' a little Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' a Dinah-Moe again An' Dinah-Moe An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora An' Dinah-Moe Kiss my aura, Dinah |
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She had that Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head, I mean her Mendocino bean-o By where some bugs had made it red She ruled the Toads of the Short Forest And every newt in Idaho And every cricket who had chorused By the bush in Buffalo She said she was a Magic Mama And she could throw a mean Tarot And carried on without a comma That she was someone I should know She had a snake for a pet And an amulet And she was breeding a dwarf But she wasn't done yet She had gray-green skin A doll with a pin I told her she was alright But I couldn't come in (I couldn't come in right then...) And so she wandered through the doorway Just like a shadow from the tomb She said her stereo was four-way And I'd just love it in her room Well, I was born to have adventure So I just followed up the steps Right past her fuming incense stencher To where she hung her castanets She stripped away her rancid poncho And laid out naked by the door We did it till we were un-concho And it was useless any more She had a snake for a pet And an amulet And she was breeding a dwarf But she wasn't done yet She had gray-green skin A doll with a pin I told her she was alright But I couldn't come in (actually, I was very busy then) And so she wandered through the doorway Just like a shadow from the tomb She said her stereo was four-way And I'd just love it in her room Well, I was born to have adventure So I just followed up the steps Right past her fuming incense stencher To where she hung her castanets She said she was a Magic Mama And she could throw a mean Tarot And carried on without a comma That she was someone I should know (Is that a real poncho, I mean Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho? Hmmm... no fooling...) |
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Disc 2 | ||||||
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Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray White (rhythm guitar, vocals) Eddie Jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals) Patrick O'Hearn (bass, vocals) Terry Bozzio (drums, vocals) Ruth Underwood (percussion, synthesizer) Don Pardo (vocals) David Samuels (vibes) Randy Brecker (trumpet) Mike Brecker (tenor saxophone, flute) Lou Marini (alto saxophone, flute) Ronnie Cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet) Tom Malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo) John Bergamo (percussion over-dub) Ed Mann (percussion over-dub) Louanne Neil (osmotic harp over-dub) And now folks it's time for Don Pardo To deliver our special Illinois Enema Bandit-type announcement Take it away, Don "This is a true story About a famous criminal From right around Chicago This is the story of Michael Kenyon A man who's serving time at this very moment For the crime of armed robbery It so happened, that at the time of the robbery Michael, decided to give his female victims A little enema Apparently, there was no law against that But his name lives on Michael Kenyon THE ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT!" The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard he's on the loose I heard he's on the loose Lord, the pitiful screams Of all them college-educated women... Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up (They'd be all bound down!) Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard it on the news I heard it on the news Bloomington Illinois...he has caused some alarm Just sneakin' around there From farm to farm Got a rubberized bag And a hose on his arm Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump The Illinois Enema Bandit One day he'll have to pay One day he'll have to pay The police will say, "You're under arrest!" And the judge would have him for a special guest The D.A. will order a secret test And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!" Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see, Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy... HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!" And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?" WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY? WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!" BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA? Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!" ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS? The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." "It must be just what they all needs..." etc. repeat Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enema Enema repeat... |
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Terry Bozzio (drums, background vocals)
Davey Moire (vocals) Andre Lewis (organ, vocals) Roy Estrada (bass, vocals) Dave Parlato (bass) Napoleon Murphy Brock (saxophone, vocals) Ruth Underwood (synthesizer, marimba) Donnie Vliet (harmonica) Louanne Neil (harp) Ruben Ladron De Guevara (background vocals) Sharkie Barker (background vocals) (Instrumental) |
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Act I
SCENE THREE CATHOLIC GIRLS A festive CYO party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom dance, the "hokey cokey", baked goods, & FATHER RILEY making sure the lights don't go down too low... Father Riley And Various Party Goers: (Well) Catholic Girls With a tiny little mustache Catholic Girls Do you know how they go? Catholic Girls In the Rectory Basement Father Riley's a fairy But it don't bother Mary Catholic Girls At the CYO Catholic Girls Do you know how they go? Catholic Girls There can be no replacement How do they go, after the show? Joe: All the way (That's right, all the way!) That's the way they go Every day (That's right!) And none of their mamas ever seem to know Hip-Hip-Hooray For all the class they show There's nothing like a Catholic Girl At the CYO When they learn to blow . . . Father Riley: They're learning to blow All the Catholic Boys! Mary: Warren Cuccurullo . . . Father Riley: Catholic Boys! Mary: Kinda young, kinda WOW! Father Riley: Catholic Boys! Mary: Vinnie Colaiuta . . . Chorus: Where are they now? Did they all take The Vow? Father Riley: Catholic Girls! Warren: Carmenita Scarfone! Father Riley: Catholic Girls! Officer Butzis: Hey! She gave me VD! Father Riley: Catholic Girls! Warren: Toni Carbone! Chorus: With a tongue like a cow She could make you go WOW! Joe: VD Vowdy vootie Right away That's the way they go Every day Whenever their mamas take them to a show Matinee Pass the popcorn please There's nothing like a Catholic Girl With her hand in the box When she's on her knees Larry: She was on her knees My little Catholic Girl Chorus: In a little white dress Catholic Girls They never confess Catholic Girls I got one for a cousin I love how they go So send me a dozen Catholic Girls OOOOOOH! (Well well now) Catholic Girls (Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum) Yai-ee-ahhh! Catholic Girls OOOOOOH! (Well well now) Catholic Girls (Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum) Yai-ee-ahhh! Joe had a girl friend named Mary. They would meet each other at the Social Club. Hold hands And think Pure Thoughts But one night, at the Social Club meeting... |
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Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals) Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals) Ike Willis (lead vocals) Peter Wolf (keyboards) Tommy Mars (keyboards) Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals) Ed Mann (percussion) Vinnie Colaiuta (drums) Jeff (tenor saxophone) Marginal Chagrin (baritone saxophone) Stumuk (bass saxophone) Dale Bozzio (vocals) Al Malkin (vocals) Craig Steward (harmonica) Central Scrutinizer: But one night, at the Social Club meeting Mary didn't show up . . . She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory In order to get a pass To see some big rock group for free . . . Backstage at the local Armory, Mary, in her little white dress, is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouth as LARRY (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order to make an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and sings to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago, as they kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus, hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism on the jolly lads who set up the P.A. System. Larry: Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these Industrial towns I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired Of all the local clowns They never give you no respect They never treat you nice So perhaps you oughta try A little friendly advice And be a CREW SLUT Hey, you'll love it Be a CREW SLUT It's a way of life Be a CREW SLUT See the world Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus CREW SLUT Add water makes its own sauce Be a CREW SLUT So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite The boys in the crew Are just waiting for you You never to get move around You never go nowhere I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired Of all the guys out there You always wondered what it's like To go from place to place So, darlin', take a little ride On the mixer's face Be a CREW SLUT Just follow the magic footprints Be a CREW SLUT Hey, you'll love it! Be a CREW SLUT It's a way of life I ain't gonna squash it And you don't need to wash it! CREW SLUT Hey, I'll buy you a pizza CREW SLUT Of course I'll introduce you to Warren The boys in the crew Are only waiting for you At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time, borrow some of the big rock group's equipment and have a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressed with LARRY'S ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing... Larry: Well you been to Alabama, girl, 'N' Georgia too 'N' all the boys in the crew Is bein' good to you I know yer sayin' to yourself 'This is the way to go' 'Cause when you need a little extra They will give you some mo' 'Cause you're the CREW SLUT Mary: Eh, hah ha, I'm into leather... Larry: That's good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love leather... Mary: And rubber... Larry: Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing With a hair dryer... Road Crew Chorus: Trade your spot on the bench For a guy with a wrench And be a... Mary: Ha ha ha... Larry: You like that, huh? I told you you'd love it... It's a way of life! Road Crew Chorus: The guys in the crew Have got a present for you! Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Mary: A present for me? Road Crew Chorus: Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Larry: Hmmm, we got a present for you! Road Crew Chorus: Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Mary: Whaddya got? Road Crew Chorus: Ren nah naaah Mary: Whaddya gonna give me? Road Crew Chorus: Ren nah naaah Ren nah naaah Larry: It looks just like a Telefunken U-47 You'll love it... Mary: With Leather? Central Scrutinizer: Eh errr, eh eh...This is,eh, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again... And so Mary was enticed away from Joe By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket Lured into a life of SLEAZERY With the entire road crew of some Famous Rock Group (I don't know whether it was really Toad-O or not ...I don't know... I'll check it out) Again we see MUSIC Causing BIG TROUBLE! |
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Frank Zappa (lead guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Ike Willis (rhythm guitar, vocals) Mike Keneally (rhythm guitar, synthesizer, vocals) Bobby Martin (keyboards, vocals) Ed Mann (vibes, marimba, electronic percussion) Walt Fowler (trumpet, flugel horn, synthesizer) Bruce Fowler (trombone) Paul Carman (alto saxophone, soprano saxophone, baritone saxophone) Albert Wing (tenor saxophone) Kurt McGettrick (baritone saxophone, bass saxophone, contrabass clarinet) Scott Thunes (electric bass, mini-moog) Chad Wackerman (drums, electronic percussion) Jimmy Carl Black (vocals) Mark Volman (vocals) Howard Kaylan (vocals) Jim Pons (bass, vocals) Don Preston (keyboards, electronics) Ian Underwood (keyboards, saxophone) Aynsley Dunbar (drums) Frank: My name is Nando, I'm a marine biologist. All my friends, they call me "Doh". Ike & Mike: Hi, Doh! Frank: All my family, from someplace in this area, And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza during the show. All: Come out here, to Californy, Just to find me some pretty girls. Ones I seen gets me so horny, Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls. Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly. Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay. I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza, I know they like me, here's what I'll say: (1971:) Jimmy Carl Black: I'm lonesome cowboy Burt. Speakin' atcha! Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt? Reekin' atcha! My cowboy pants, My cowboy dance, My bold advance On this here waitress... Mark & Howard: He's lonesome cowboy Burt. A-Ha! Don'tcha get his feelings hurt. Jimmy: Come on in this place An' I'll buy you a taste. You can sit on my face. Where's my waitress? Mark & Howard: Burtram, Burtram redneck! Burtram, Burtram redneck! Jimmy: I'm an awful nice guy. Worked all day in the sun. I'm a roofer by trade, Quite a bundle I've made, I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun. Mark & Howard: He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun! (1988:) Ike: "Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this, you know what I'm sayin'?" Frank: When I get off, I get plastered. I swim till I fall on the jellyfish. Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator, I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing, And tell him to draw it up so it looks just like a brand new jellyfish. Ike & Mike: (trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish) Frank: "Take that! Take that!" I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin', Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red. I drool on my shorts, I do some water sports, Then I take the jellyfish back to my house And stick it in the bed! "Sorta..." Ike & Mike: "Whaddya do?" Stick it again in the bed! Frank: "That's right! Ike & Mike: Stick it again in the bed! Stick it again in the bed! Stick it again in the bed! (1971:) Jimmy: Lonesome cowboy Burt. Speakin' atcha! Smell my fringe-y shirt. Reekin' atcha! My cowboy pants, My cowboy dance, My bold advance On this here waitress! Mark & Howard: He's lonesome cowboy Burt. Yee-ha! Don'tcha get his feelings hurt! Jimmy: Come on in this place, an' I'll buy you a taste. You can sit on my face. Where's my waitress? "Opal, you hot little bitch!" |
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