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Well right about that time, people
A fur trapper who was strictly from commercial (Strictly commercial) Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (Peek-a-boo, woo-ooh-ooh) And he started in to whippin' on my fav'rite baby seal With a lead-filled snow shoe I said with a lead (Lead) Filled (Lead-filled) A lead-filled snow shoe (Snow shoe) He said "peek-a-boo" (Peek-a-boo) With a lead (Lead) Filled (Lead-filled) With a lead-filled snow shoe (Snow shoe) He said "peek-a-boo" (Peek-a-boo) He went right up side the head of my favourite baby seal He went whap! With a lead-filled snow shoe An' he hit him on the nose an' he hit him on fin an' he That got me just about as evil as an Eskimo boy can be So I bent down an' I reached down an' I scooped down An' I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly (Yellow snow) The deadly yellow snow from right there where the huskies go Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful Of the deadly yellow snow crystals And rub it all into his beady little eyes With a vigorous circular motion Hitherto unknown to the people in this area But destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology Here it goes now, the circular motion, rub it (Here Fido, here Fido) And then, in a fit of anger, I, I pounced And I pounced again Great googly-moogly! I jumped up an' down the chest of the I injured the fur trapper Well, he was very upset, as you can understand And rightly so, because The deadly yellow snow crystals Had deprived him of his sight And he stood up And he looked around And he said "I can't see" (Do, do do-do do do-do, yeah!) "I can't see" (Do, do do-do do do-do, yeah!) "Oh, woe is me" (Do, do do-do do do-do, yeah!) "I can't see" (Do, do do-do do do-do, well!) No, no I can't see No, I He took a dog-doo sno-cone an' stuffed it in my right eye He took a dog-doo sno-cone an' stuffed it in my other eye An' the huskie wee-wee, I mean the doggie wee-wee, has blinded me An' I can't see Temporarily Well, the fur trapper Stood there With his arms outstretched Across the frozen white wasteland Trying to figure out what he's gonna do about his deflicted eyes And it was at that precise moment that he remembered an ancient Eskimo legend Wherein it is written And whatever it is that they write it on up there That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes As a result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook The only way you can get it fixed up Is to go trudgin' across the tundra, mile after mile Trudgin' across the tundra Right down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo |
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The Mystery Man came over
An' he said: "I'm outa-sight!" He said, for a nominal service charge, I could reach Nirvana t'nite If I was ready, willing 'n able To pay him his regular fee He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs And devote His Attention to me But I said . . . Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?) Look here brother, Don't you waste your time on me The Mystery Man got nervous An' he fidget around a bit He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe An' he whipped out a shaving kit Now, I thought it was a razor An' a can of foamin' goo But he told me right then when the top popped open There was nothin' his box won't do With the oil of Afro-dytee An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo He said: "You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your Asthma too!" An' I said . . . Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?) Look here brother, Don't you waste your time on me Don't waste yer time . . . I've got troubles of my own, I said An' you can't help me out So take your meditations an' your preparations An' ram it up yer snout "BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!", he said An' held it to the light So I snatched it All away from him An' I showed him how to do it right I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head So I'd look like I was Deep I said some Mumbo Jumbos then An' told him he was goin' to sleep I robbed his rings An' pocket watch An' everything else I found I had that sucker hypnotized He couldn't even make a sound I proceeded to tell him his future then As long as he was hanging around, I said "The price of meat has just gone up An' yer ol' lady has just gone down . . . " Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?) Don't you know, You could make more money as a butcher, So don't you waste your time on me (Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me . . . ) Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm SSHONTAY |
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The clouds are really cheap
The way I seen 'em thru the ports Of which there is a half-a-dozen On the base of my resorz You wouldn't think I'd have too many Since I never cared for sports But I'm never really lonely In my Excentrifugal Forz There's always Korla Plankton Him 'n me can play the blues An' then I'll watch him buff that Tiny ruby that he use He'll straighten up his turban An' eject a little ooze Along a one-celled Hammond Organism Underneath my shoes An' then I'll call PUP TENTACLE I'll ask him how's his chin I'll fine out How the future is Because that's where he's been His little feet got long 'n flexible An' suckers fell right in The time he crossed the line From LATER ON to WAY BACK WHEN |
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Wo, are we movin' too slow?
Have you seen us, Uncle Remus . . . We look pretty sharp in these clothes (yes, we do) Unless we get sprayed with a hose It ain't bad in the day If they squirt it your way 'Cept in the winter, when it's froze An' it's hard if it hits On yer nose On yer nose Just keep yer nose To the grindstone, they say Will that redeem us, Uncle Remus . . . I can't wait till my Fro is full-grown I'll just throw 'way my Doo-Rag at home I'll take a drive to BEVERLY HILLS Just before dawn An' knock the little jockeys Off the rich people's lawn An' before they get up I'll be gone, I'll be gone Before they get up I'll be knocking the jockeys off the lawn Down in the dew |
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In the dark
Where all the fevers grow Under the water Where the shark bubbles blow In the mornin' By yer radio Do the walls close in t' suffocate ya You ain't got no friends . . . An' all the others: they hate ya Does the life you been livin' gotta go, hmmm? Well, lemme straighten you out About a place I know . . . (Get yer shoes 'n socks on people, It's right aroun' the corner!) Out through the night An' the whispering breezes To the place where they keep The Imaginary Diseases, Out through the night An' the whispering breezes To the place where they keep The Imaginary Diseases, mmm . . . This has to be the disease for you Now scientists call this disease Bromidrosis But us regular folks Who might wear tennis shoes Or an occasional python boot Know this exquisite little inconvenience By the name of: STINK FOOT Y'know, my python boot is too tight I couldn't get it off last night A week went by, an' now it's July I finally got it off An' my girl-friend cry "You got STINK FOOT! STINK FOOT, darlin' Your STINK FOOT puts a hurt on my nose! STINK FOOT! STINK FOOT! I ain't lyin', Can you rinse it off, d'you suppose?" Here Fido . . . Fido . . . C'mere little puppy . . . bring the slippers "Arf, arf, arf!" (crash-crumble-bump-bump-bump) Heh heh heh . . . sick . . . Well then Fido got up off the floor an' he rolled over An' he looked me straight in the eye An' you know what he said? Once upon a time Somebody say to me (This is a dog talkin' now) What is your Conceptual Continuity? Well, I told him right then (Fido said) It should be easy to see The crux of the biscuit Is the Apostrophe(') Well, you know The man who was talkin' to the dog Looked at the dog an' he said: (sort of staring in desbelief) "You can't say that!" He said: "IT DOESN'T, 'n YOU CAN'T! I WON'T, 'n IT DON'T! IT HASN'T, IT ISN'T, IT EVEN AIN'T 'N IT SHOULDN'T . . . IT COULDN'T!" He told me NO NO NO! I told him YES YES YES! I said: "I do it all the time . . . Ain't this boogie a mess!" THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES THE POODLE CHEWS IT THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES THE POODLE CHEWS IT THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES THE POODLE CHEWS IT THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES THE POODLE CHEWS IT (POO-DLE . . . ) THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES ( . . . BITES) THE POODLE CHEWS IT (POO-DLE . . . ) THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES ( . . . BITES) THE POODLE CHEWS IT (POO-DLE . . . ) THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES ( . . . BITES) THE POODLE CHEWS IT (POO-DLE . . . ) THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES ( . . . BITES) THE POODLE CHEWS IT THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES THE POODLE CHEWS IT THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES THE POODLE CHEWS IT THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES |
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