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| 1. |
| 3:28 | 
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Do you consider yourself intelligent?
Are you ready to go all the way? Are you married? How do you rank yourself? Are you punctual? When do you think you will have kids? Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? Do you find yourself mentally stable? How do you deal with pressure? Do you find yourself qualified for life? You know youll be you And I'll be me Thank god for individuality Do you consider yourself ready for life? You know youll be you And I'll be me Thank god for individuality Dont lie Dont kill Dont smoke Dont run Dont yell Dont panic Dont steal Dont cry Dont die Dont act Dont drink Dont stumble Dont hate Dont bitch Dont cheat Dont fake Remember to separate all your kitchen garbage And turn the water off when you brush your teeth Only buy organic food Get a gay friend preferably with a different color Than your own You be you Ill be me Its individuality In a way are you qualified? You be you Ill be me Its individuality Are you qualified for life? You have a choice of believing in JV Allah Buddha Goya Uranus Zeus Coronus Mattes Apollo Aries Athena Althea Fall Odem Just to name a few Get married Get hitched Get loved Get gold Get cleaver Get big Get lucky Get rich Get humble Get good Get free Get real Get food Get water Get sleep Get sex Are you qualified? You be you Ill be me Its individuality Are you qualified? You be you Ill be me Its individuality Are you qualified for life? Yeah Are you qualified for life? Are you qualified for life? Are you qualified? You be you Ill be me Its individuality Are you qualified? You be you Ill be me Its individuality Do you find yourself qualified for life? ------------- Lyrics Powered by LyricFind Written By DOUGLAS, JONATHAN / RASTED, SOREN / SKYTTE, CLAUS / FOLMANN, MARTIN <i>Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.</i> |
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| 2. |
| 3:57 |
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This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
- the bare facts of the life we live This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is These are the facts of the life that we live This is who we are Bae facts of the life we live This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are, are, are, are, are... - so help me god Did you know, that 1 out of 4 americans has appered on tv? Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites? Every day 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year Cannabis is the most widely abused druk in the world The average person laughs 13 times a day Elvis was originally blond The average age of first intercourse is 15,3 years old The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously 20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexsual eksperience Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme? This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is - the bare facts of the life we live This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is These are the facts of the life that we live This is who we are Bae facts of the life we live This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are, are, are, are, are... 22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britain 96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm 3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt batteri works on their tongue The 'Guinness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in the public libraries Butterflies taste with their feet 5% of the population is gay The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola' The giraf can clean its ears with its tongue Charles Chaplin once won 3. price in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest' In 1995 a japanese trawler sank because a russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30.000 feet Only one book has been printet in more copies than the bible - the IKEA-catalogue This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is - the bare facts of the life we live This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is These are the facts of the life that we live This is who we are The facts of the life we live This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are... 1 cigaret takes away five minutes of a person's life In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people (time is ticking, ticking, yeah...) 'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants 74% of all nudist-females are nudists, because their husbands are nudists More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders 21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm - unfortunately it got stolen This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is Yeah, yeah... This is who we are Bare facts of the live we live This is who we are, this is what we do This is who we are, this is what we do - so help me God |
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| 3. |
| 3:17 |
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Inhale positivity, exhale negativity
Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Enjoy the little things in life Like the smell of a flower The sound of a bird Or the shape of a cloud Do something different today Smile to a stranger on the street Take a different way home Or go by a CD With music that you wouldn't have normally bought Try not to be to hasty In your judgment of other people And take life Less seriously What you give will always comeback double Some people spend their whole life waiting for the storm And never enjoy the sunshine Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Take a deep breath By taking five deep breaths everyday It will help remove the build up of toxins in the body It also lowers your cholesterol in the blood And strengthens your mind As you breathe out think only positive thoughts Like what a great day this is going to be Surround yourself with successful people Don't feel threatened by them Challenge yourself And learn from them Success as a mysterious way of attracting success Like negativity attracts more negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale positivity, exhale negativity Inhale, inhale exhale, exhale negativity Inhale, inhale exhale, exhale negativity Inhale more life and positivity Exhale pain regrets and negativity Inhale |
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| 4. |
| 3:39 |
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You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars
And you have a right to be here, and weather or not it is clear to you No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should, therefore be at peace with god Whatever you conceive him to be, what ever your labors and aspirations In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy Oh oh oh this is direction Oh oh oh this is direction As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to the dull of the ignorant They too have their stories Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the sprit If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans Keep interested in your career, however humble It is a real possession in the forever changing fortunes of time I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy Oh oh oh this is direction Oh oh oh this is direction Be yourself especially do not fane affection Nether be cynical about love Take kindly the council of the years Gracefully surrendering the things of youth Nurture strength of sprit to shield you in sudden misfortune But do not distress yourself with imaginings Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness Beyond wholesome discipline be gentle to yourself With wanted sham drudgery and broken dreams I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy I try to be I strive to be All I wish to be happy Oh oh oh this is direction Oh oh oh this is direction Oh oh oh this is direction Oh oh oh this is direction Go placidly amid the noise and the haste And remember what peace there maybe in silence |
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| 5. |
| 3:39 | 
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| 6. |
| 3:37 |
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The warmest welcome to everybody reading the manual
The manual gives you the basic information The ingredients and the six step easy to follow guide Please pay attention to the useful guide and the helpful tips As we lead you through Ingredients You need A small piece of thick paper as a mouth piece The most common is to use the top side From a hard top cigarette pack You need large size rolling papers One of the best brands on the market is smoking Because their rolling papers are very thin And are the perfect size You need Tobacco The finest tobacco is hand rolling tobacco But a second possibility Is to use the tobacco from a normal cigarette You need Pot, grass, ganja, marijuana It has various names But they all refer to the following three main types Weed, weed is the bud from hemp plants The effect is usually uplifting and mellow Hash, hash is the pressed pollens and resins of the marijuana plant You will experience a more relaxed feeling And a stronger effect than weed Skunk, skunk is the artificially grown hemp plant And is usually the strongest of the three There are different ways to make a joint But we have produced this six step Easy to follow guide One, if you have hash you need to heat it and crumble it If its weed, you need to remove the seeds first And then crumble it as well Two, roll the mouth piece Fold the end of the paper three times And then roll it in to a cylindrical form Three, take the rolling paper And hold it with the gum side on top away from you Four, now mix the weed, skunk or hash with the tobacco On the rolling paper A good mix makes the joint burn nice and smooth But be careful Half a gram is enough to get four people stoned If your beginners Five, begin rolling Place the mouth piece in one end of the rolling paper Then start rolling from the middle going out wards Let your thumbs do the walking And try to give support and pressure with your for fingers Six, wet the glue and seal the joint Now you have a joint It's up to you what you want to do with it ------------- Lyrics Powered by LyricFind Written By DOUGLAS, JONATHAN / RASTED, SOREN / SKYTTE, CLAUS / PEDERSEN, KRISTIAN JORGEN / NIELSEN, KEVIN PHIL / RASTED, NICOLAJ / MANVIG, THOMAS <i>Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.</i> |
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| 7. |
| 4:55 |
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Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what's not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural. But we got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt? You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like: ??Do you ever wake up tired in the morning???br>Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is??br>people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean. I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy. The schools now??It is all about self-esteem in the schools now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs? What's going to happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection? Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're not masterminds. ??OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright???br>??Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just?╈??br>??Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you???br> Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004. ??How'd you get through it grandpa???br>??Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.??br> Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle. I'll sit at a drive thru. I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents. Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft? Of course not. You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think, ??You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them.??br> We're in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard. People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum. People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date. I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a ??underwear goes inside the pants??policy. Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books. |
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| 8. |
| 3:55 |
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Man women boy women girl
Women without a man is nothing Without her man is nothing Women have their faults Men only have two Everything they say and everything they do Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage They've experienced pain And have bought jewelry Women have two weapons Cosmetics and tears I'm a perfect house keeper Every time I leave a man I keep his house No women has ever hated a man Enough to give him back his diamonds Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time Man women boy women girl Men forget everything Women remember everything A girl can wait for the right man to come along But it doesn't stop her from having fun With all the wrong ones in the mean time The real reason why it's so difficult to find men Who are sensitive, caring and good looking Is because they all have boyfriends already A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife spends A successful women is one who can find such a man Man women boy women girl Women driver really means Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures And has a better driving record than men have It's a guy thing really means Irrational, illogical, stupid and extremely low Oh don't fuss I just cut myself, it's no big deal Really means I'm about to die but before I die I want you to remember me as a strong proud man Who never cries Man women boy women girl If you want to learn more about women Watch Sex In The City If you want to learn more about men Take a good look at Homer Simpson The difference between light and dark Is that men can sleep all night with the lights on ------------- Lyrics Powered by LyricFind Written By DOUGLAS, JONATHAN / RASTED, SOREN / CHAPMAN, TOBY / WERDELIN, HENRIK <i>Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.</i> |
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| 9. |
| 4:01 |
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[ Chorus: ]
One life, one shot, one move, one God This is the truth yeah Word up for the lazy boy Word up for the lazy boy This is the truth You don't win silver you lose gold Stop earning the right to be You won the day you were born If you don't know what direction you should take You don't know where you are Success is a matter of luck, ask any failure Never let a fool kiss you, or let a kiss fool you We are born naked, wet and hungry Then things get worse Your success is measured by your ability to finish things Skepticism is the beginning of failure Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names There is no such thing as right or wrong Only consequences [Chorus] All men are born equal But quite a few get over it We are the people our parents warned us about Sometimes I think the sure sign that life exists elsewhere in the universe Is that that none of them tried to contact us Be nice to nerds Chances are you'll end up working for one Do not get mad with others Because they know more than you It is not their fault If you do not change your beliefs Your life will always be like this Fantasy is as important as wisdom Do not try to satisfy everyone The biggest lie you can tell yourself is When I get what I want I will be happy [ Chorus ] Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive It maybe your sole purpose in life Is to serve as a warning to others Life is shorter than expected What you're willing to accept is exactly what you're going to get You have control without being controlled Creativity is great but plagiarism is faster You are the very reason why everything happens to you Someone said to Voltaire life is hard Voltaire replied compared to what? [ Chorus ] One life One god Word up for the lazy boy This is the truth |
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| 10. |
| 3:41 |
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You can cut to the chase
And you know it's okay 'Coz we only read the headlines We only read the headlines Baby, get to the point And quit the foreplay We only read the headlines We only read the headlines anyways 54 percent of bank robberies take place on a Friday Women blink nearly twice as much as men Elvis never ever gave an Encore The number of wars fought between countries That both have at least one McDonald's is zero Every 5 minutes, an area of rainforest The size of a football field is eliminated Women who read romance novels Have sex twice as often as those who don't Did you know a can of Diet Coke will float in water While a can of regular Coke will sink The Muppet Show was banned from TV in Saudi Arabia Because one of its stars was a pig Males on average think about sex every 7 seconds More than 50 percent of the people in the world Have never made or received a telephone call Syphilis has risen 500 percent in the last six years in London Why is it that everybody seems to get older Except for Cliff Richard? You can cut to the chase And you know it's okay 'Coz we only read the headlines We only read the headlines Baby, get to the point And quit the foreplay We only read the headlines We only read the headlines anyways 1 out of 10 girls under 20 is carrying Chlamydia According to several sources, Dr. Harvey Kellogg Actually tried to make a cure for masturbation When he made cornflakes Women are 30 percent more sexually active during a full moon Indonesia is the country with the highest scout membership In every single episode of Seinfeld There's a Superman in at least one scene somewhere If you weighed all the animals in the world Hens would be 10 percent of the total weight In Minnesota, there's a law Against men having sex with living fish Jimmy Carter can read 2000 words per minute Humans and dolphins are the only species That have sex for pleasure Danny Devito is taller than Dolly Parton You can cut to the chase And you know it's okay We only read the headlines We only read the headlines In the papers, on the news Heaven heard, there's no excuse Informations everywhere All you need to know is right here It's possible to attend your own funeral Because the human brain continues to send out Electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours following death We only read the headlines We only read the headlines We only read the headlines We only read the headlines You can cut to the chase And you know it's okay 'Coz we only read the headlines We only read the headlines Baby, get to the point And quit the foreplay We only read the headlines We only read the headlines anyways |
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| 11. |
| 17:14 |
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