Disc 1 | ||||||
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1. |
| 2:51 | ||||
how to stay paralyzed by fear of adandonment how to defer to men in solve-able predicaments how to control someone to be a carbon copy of you how to have that not work and have them run away from you how to keep people at arm's length and never get too close how to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most how to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone how to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone i'll teach you all this in eight easy steps a course of a lifetime you'll never forget i'll show you how to in eight easy steps i'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best how to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist how to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite how to hate God when you're a pray-er and a spiritualist how to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success i'll teach you all this in eight easy steps a course of a lifetime you'll never forget i'll show you how to in eight easy steps i'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best i've been doing research for years i've been practicing my ass off i've been training my whole life for this moment (i swear to you) culminating just to be this this well-versed leader before you i'll teach you all this in eight easy steps a course of a lifetime you'll never forget i'll show you how to in eight easy steps i'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best how to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else how to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself how to numb a la holic to avoid going within how to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything i'll teach you all this in eight easy steps a course of a lifetime you'll never forget i'll show you how to in eight easy steps i'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best i'll teach you all this in eight easy steps a course of a lifetime you'll never forget i'll show you how to in eight easy steps i'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best |
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2. |
| 3:52 | ||||
Every time you raise your voice I see the greener grass Every time you run for cover I see this pasture Every time we're in a funk I picture a different choice Every time we're in a rut This distant grandeur My tendency to want to do away feels natural My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable The only way out is through The faster we're in the better The only way out is through ultimately The only way out is through The only way we'll feel better The only way out is through ultimately Every time I'm confused I think there must be easier ways Every time our horns are locked on toweling throwing Every time we're at a loss, we've bolted from difficulty Anytime we're still made of final bowing My tendency to want to hide away feels easier and The tendency is picturing another place comforting to go The only way out is through The faster we're in the better The only way out is through ultimately The only way out is through The only way we'll feel better The only way out is through ultimately We could just walk away and hide our heads in the sand We could just call it quits, only to start all over again With somebody else Every time we're stuck in struggle, I'm down for the count that day Every time I dream of quick fix I'm swaged Now I know it's hard when it's through And I'm damned if I don't know quick fix way But formerly mistreat me silence now outdated My tendency to want to run feels unnatural now The urgency to want to give to you what I want most feels good The only way out is through The faster we're in the better The only way out is through ultimately The only way out is through The only way we'll feel better The only way out is through ultimately The only way out is through The faster we're in the better The only way out is through ultimately The only way out is through The only way we'll feel better The only way out is through ultimately |
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3. |
| 3:31 | ||||
Why no one will help me I am too dumb I am too smart They'll not understand me I am lonely They'll hate me And there is not enough time It's too hard to help me And god wants me to work No resting no lazy These excuses how they served me so well They've kept me safe They've kept me stuck They've kept me locked in my own cell I'm too far from home It takes far too much energy And I cannot afford to No one will ever see me These excuses how they served me so well They've kept me safe They've kept me stuck They've kept me locked in my own cell These excuses how they're so familiar They've kept me blocked They've kept me small They've kept me safe inside my shell Bringing this into the light Shakes their foundation And it clears my side Now my imagination Is the only thing that limits The bar that is raised to the heights No one can have it all see I have to they want me to And I can't let them down I'll never be happy These excuses how they served me so well They've kept me safe They’ve kept me stuck They’ve kept me locked in my own cell These excuses how they're so familiar They've kept me blocked They've kept me small They've kept me safe inside my shell Hoo~ |
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4. |
| 4:02 | ||||
I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise I'm not jealous I don't get moved my much I'm not enraged Not insecure as such Not going insane Rational stays in touch Doth I protest too much? I'm not tortured by how oft your busy, Cause I've got things to do I'm not disappointed about how you don't miss you me, cause I don't need you to I'm not needy I don't get clingy much I'm not scared I'm not afraid as such I'm not dependent Rock solid, stays in touch And Doth I protest too much? So much energy to prove to you Who I can't possibly be So much energy to prove to you I'm not who you hate for me to be I'm not saddened And I don't miss you Cause I have moved on too I'm not concerned about your new lover Cause I have a new lover too I'm not depressed I don't get down that much I'm not despondent I am not dark as such I'm never sad Keep Chin Up, Stays in touch And Doth I protest too much? I'm not jealous I don't get moved my much I'm not enraged Not insecure as such Not going insane Rational stays in touch And Doth I protest too much? |
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5. |
| 3:40 | ||||
we share a culture same vernacular love of physical humor and time spent alone you with your penchant for spontaneous events for sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone you are a gift promised sent with a wink with tendencies for conversations that raise bars you are a sage who is fueled by compassion comes to nooks and crannies, is bound for all stars you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle you make the knees of my bees weak you are a spirit that knows of no limit that knows of no ceiling who baulks at dead-ends you are a wordsmith who cares for his brothers not seduced by illusions of fair-weather friends you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle you make the knees of my bees weak you are a vision who lives by the signals of stomach and intuition as your guide you are a sliver of god on a platter who walks what he talks and who cops when he’s lied you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle you make the knees of my bees weak you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle you make the knees of my bees weak |
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6. |
| 5:04 | ||||
Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached D-days and structure responsibility Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three Eleventh hours and upset employees I want to be naked, running through the streets I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be I want to be weightless, flying through the air I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers Compulsive yearnings non-stop to please others I want to be naked, running through the streets I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be I want to be weightless, flying through the air I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet All wont be lost if I’m governed by my own uniqueness Stop lights won't work I'll get home sound and safe regardless Won’t deem me had if I'm led by my own rulelessness My fire wont quell and I’ll be harm-free and distressless Trust me Line towing, and helping, expectations up to living Inside box obeying, inside line cutting I want to be naked, running through the streets I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be I want to be weightless, flying through the air I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet I want to be naked, running through the streets I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be I want to be weightless, flying through the air I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be |
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7. |
| 3:58 | ||||
I rather face all on top of my face I am the perfect target screen For your blindly fueled rage I bare the brunt of your long buried pain I don't mind helping you out But I want you to remember my name It's not all me It's not all my fault I need remind you, but I won't take it all on Past riddled rage I see the buttons I engage Is my dignity in place? I'm all too happy to switch It's not all me It's not all my fault I need remind you, but I won't take it all on Lest I find my voice Find the strength to stand up to you Lest I stay to my limit And only take on what is mine to We are a team I'm here to help mend and rescind All I trigger unknowingly A job I hold in high esteem It's not all me It's not all my fault I need remind you, but I won't take it all on It's not all me It's not all my fault I need remind you, but I won't take it all on I'll only take some of it |
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8. |
| 5:07 | ||||
Fourteen years thirty minutes fifteen seconds I've held this grudge Eleven songs four full journals thoughts of punishment I've expended Not in contact not a letter such communication telepathic you've been vilified used as fodder you deserve a piece of every record But who's it hurting now? Who's the one that's stuck? Who's it torturing now with an antique knot in her stomach? I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old all this time I've not known how to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us Like an abandoned house dusty covered furniture still intact If I visit it now will I simply re-live it somehow gratuitous But who's still aching now? Who's tired of her own voice? Who is it weighing down With no gift from time of said healing I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old all this time I've not known how to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us Maybe as I cut the cord veils will lift from my eyes Maybe as I lay this to rest dead weight off my shoulders will rise Here I sit much determined ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain how this has entertained validated and has served me well ever the victim But who's done whining now? Who's ready to put down this load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old For the life of me I've not known how to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old For the life of me I've not known how to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us |
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9. |
| 4:14 | ||||
I won't see my dear friends as much Male friends especially, I'll no longer be in touch I'll change my hobbies to match yours I'll stop reading my favorite books I won't spend all this selfish time alone I'll cater to you and hang on your every word I'll be subservient and spineless I'll lick your boots as empty shells I'll be opinion less and silent I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself I'll re-define self-sacrifice Live my life as apologetic compromise I KNOW YOU'D LEAVE if I rock the boat I'll be subservient and spineless I'll lick your boots as empty shells I'll be opinion less and silent I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won't forget myself so easily I'll be low maintenance and agreeable I will not talk about my dreams so much I'll listen to you for hours, won't need anything I'll be subservient and spineless I'll lick your boots as empty shells I'll be opinion less and silent I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself I'll be subservient and spineless I'll lick your boots as empty shells I'll be opinion less and silent I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won't forget myself I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won't forget myself so easily |
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10. |
| 4:36 | ||||
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind I can withhold like it's going out of style I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone who is as negative as I am sometimes I am the wisest woman you've ever met I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen And you've never met anyone Who's as positive as I am sometimes You see everything, you see every part You see all my light and you love my dark You dig everything of which I'm ashamed There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here I blame everyone else, not my own partaking My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating I'm terrified and mistrusting And you've never met anyone as As closed down as I am sometimes You see everything, you see every part You see all my light and you love my dark You dig everything of which I'm ashamed There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known I am the dullest woman that you've ever known I'm the most gorgeous that woman you've ever known And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes You see everything, you see every part You see all my light and you love my dark You dig everything of which I'm ashamed There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here |